🅿🅾🅾🅿🆂 🅵🅾🆁 🆈🅾🆄 🧻
@Poopsforyou
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1,368
Following
68
Media
90
Statuses
932
[The trials, tribulations, and entirely hilarious nonsense of pooping told by a very silly girl. 🍑💩] 'Because poop is funny' -Frank Reynolds
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Joined December 2012
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I just took the most beautiful
#poop
. It was so big I used a Q-Tip for scale. I made a video of me flushing it, too.
http://t.co/3yCyX4hCES
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This is my pootiful guest-star,
@sophsa
!
If you don't look good while pooping, what are you even doing with your life? 💩
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This poop exploded outta me I had so much in my butthole. It looked bigger in person.
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@Coll3enG
Okay but, where is he wrong? What if this was the same situation but it was wives leaving sick husbands. Could dudes be like "I literally just do not think any man in my generation should marry a woman" and have that be okay to say? It wouldn't be and you know it.
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A special thing happens when a girl poos green and gets her period at the same time: it looks very festive
#Christmas
http://t.co/cm3lqmqDxB
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One of my favorite movies manages to get even better with the closed captioning on.
#farting
#SouthPark
#NowPlaying
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I'm glad you guys can't smell the toilet because it smells like horses. I hate horses. My
@TacoBell
smells good.
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Pooping at work again. 🏅
I love that you can tell how much I avoid the sun because my hands and arms are the same color as my thighs.
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This black toilet paper looks so bcool, but I never know when I'm done wiping.
http://t.co/pNguJHvV2z
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I'd rather hear you take a violent poop than hear you talk about your favorite sports team.
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I ate too many hot dogs and now me and my hot dog shorts are sitting on the toilet.
http://t.co/rFYRHny1ZH
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I peed with someone in the stall next to me at
@RoyalCinemaTO
for
@racertrash
last night, and it hit me it was the first time I had peed next to a stranger in actual years now. I unabashedly got a little turned on.
The film had horny piss jokes,
so it's fine 💛💦
#PISSXXX
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Look at this beautiful and serene log. I spent almost 2 says making it, and boy was it worth it.
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My butt is a shy pooper so you first have to take it out to dinner and a movie before you get your prize
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My best friend
@binaryrainbow_
re-did her bathroom and it's so beautiful and pisstastic. I just had a cute little green poop, from a blue Slurpee, here and I adored it.
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Just finally got some massive poops out after having TWO Metamucil doses before TWO meals in ONE day and then not really pooing for like, a day and a half.
Today should be a good day.
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Will I ever have to poop at a shitty retail job again? Hopefully fucking not.
Pooping at work again. 🏅
I love that you can tell how much I avoid the sun because my hands and arms are the same color as my thighs.
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All I could manage to poop out this morning was this tiny poo heart. Its for all of you, my followers ~♥
http://t.co/Nt1hXwDHir
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My morning poop looked like brown taffy, but smelled like beef gravy. Now I want some damn gravy!
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I ate too much, pooped, took a nap, and now I hafta poop again. What a rewarding afternoon!
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I'm pooping, and simultaneously farting, so loudly that I could start a ska band.
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I have no idea what I ate that gave me neon yellow liquid diarrhea. It looked like my butthole was vomiting up Mountain Dew.
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Sweet morning messages with my main squeeze, about my latest squeeze~
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My body woke me up at 5:30 just to take a poop and I ended up falling asleep on the toilet. Shout out to the hand towel for being my pillow.
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I was just pooping and I had a thought; what if butts were bigger the more poop that was inside of them? Would you still like big butts even if you knew their dirty little secret?
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I pooped out what looked like a hotdog nestled in a bun. 🌭
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The only way I can describe the poop I just took is "villainous."
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I'm still so proud of this log.
I just took the most beautiful
#poop
. It was so big I used a Q-Tip for scale. I made a video of me flushing it, too.
http://t.co/3yCyX4hCES
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Sometimes it's so hard to believe so much poop can come out of such a tiny little butthole.
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This donut looks like a prolapsed anus. Luckily it doesn't taste like one, though. Thanks,
@HarveysCanada
!
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After seeing "The Batman" I pooped out another question mark. I will fulfill my destiny and become..The Shittler!
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I pooped so much I couldn't see the inner bowl of my toilet, because I filled it.
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My poop this morning smelled like skunk and looked like a salad that's been in a blender.
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I just wanted to tell you all that I love you guys. It makes me happy others find poop as hilarious as me, so thank you for followin' me!
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My poop just looked like I squeezed out at least 4 tubes of brown oil paint, but much thicker width.
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9:47 am: I took a huge poop before my shower.
12:32 pm: I took another huge poop at work.
1:26 pm: I feel very hollow and concave.
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Finally pooped after not pooping since Friday afternoon, and it wasn't even that much. What is my body doing with all that poop inside me? Photo of me in the movie theater bathroom on Sunday, after a failed attempt at pooping after gorging during
#SawX
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I wish you guys liked my piss content as much as you liked my poop content. I have layers! I'm complex! I have TWO functions!
Just kidding, I have three.
I also cum.
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My favorite thing after eating pancakes is until I poop them out my farts smells like pancakes. 🥞
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I ate too much candy while laying in bed and now I have a stomach ache. I think I have to poop, but I can't move. I'm just stuck here now. This is my eulogy..
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Poop tip: eat lots of nuts because when you poop it will exfoliate your butthole making it pink and clean*. *must use soap
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I accidentally woke myself up because my farts were as loud as a horn. I wasn't even mad, I was impressed. Best sound I've gotten in weeks.
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In the last 4 hours I've been woken up 3 times to take big, gassy, terrible poops. I'm now dehydrated and exausted. Please let me sleep bowels, I have now done your evil bidding.
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I took such a satisfying poop. It popped up and made a little island, then when I tried to flush this giant log it bent up into a U and got stuck. I had to flush three times.
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While I was pooping all I could hear was
@binaryrainbow_
sanding down her giant styrofoam vulva for the giant
@Fleshlight
she is making.
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I was in the middle of watching a movie and knitting when a very demanding poop came knocking on my butthole. I was so cozy that I waited until it almost kicked down the door before I got out of bed.
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I woke up to pee, but after returning to bed a HUGE poop felt like a bowling in my butthole. It was so heavy the one end of this giant turd sunk to the bottom with the other end peaking above the water. The top had curled and bent looking like a cute little hat. 2.5 pound poop.
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I've had two beyond exceptional poops this morning, about three hours apart, and I am floating! I feel like a mad scientist, trying to figure out the perfect amount of Metamucil to take to get the best poops every day.
I wanna go back to having good poop tweets for all of you 🤎
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Nothin' like poopin' out the snacks from the night before to clean out your butt for a tail butt plug to be a snack for the current night! 🐾💗
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I was pooping and was thinking "man, I really wish I could stop pooping right now." But it didn't stop, it just kept going. So much poop. I just wanted to wash up and be done, but the tube logs kept comin'.
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I heated up some potato chowder to eat before work, but it was too hot. So while I waited for it to cool down I took my poop. I am smart.
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Watching cartoons, getting baked, and eating a big big breakfast when I already have a big poop. I can't wait for the most satisfying poop after this!
#SundayFunday
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@lezzlemynezzle
@Coll3enG
Actually, Lesley..fun fact! Women are as bad as men. Just because men have done bad stuff in the past and continue to do bad stuff, even if it's especially to women, does not change the fact that women also do bad stuff to men, and also continue to do so. All people can be bad.
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Don't be that person that's too good to talk about how funny poop is.
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I just got woken up by a poop that feels like I ate a fist full of push pins and broken glass. Why does our bodies make such spiky poops?
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I just ate then pooped, and I pooped so much that I'm hungry again.
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Something I really hate about working with other females is when I use the bathroom after them half the time I can smell their rank vagina smell, and that worries me so much about the rest of their lives.
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Do you ever take such a good poop you need to lie down? Not even because you're sleepy, but because it still took a lot out of you.
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My favorite thing about my morning poops with Metamucil is that I often get all the poop out before I even finish peeing.
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How. How has it already been ten years. I had a really good poop after McDonald's iced coffee feeling my stride.
#MyTwitterAnniversary
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I was so baked last night during my period induced diarrhea I thought I turned on the faucet, but it was just my butt pooping out pure liquid.
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My best friend was telling me about her morning poop she had to have in a coffee shop. She said it felt like a lot but when she stood up the bowl was empty. Apparently the toilet had been slowly flushing the entire time. I'd be furious. SHOW ME MY POOPS, TOILET!
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How can someone think pooping isn't funny? The whole idea of it is absolutely hilarious. When I was reeeeally young I remember telling my dad I thought I was pooping out chocolate bars and he laughed so hard. I still think about that.
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Another game jam,
another poop in this bathroom.
Really putting the BROWN
in George Brown.
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Wow. That turd was really impressive. It’s a shame I have to flush it down…or do I ?
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I ate a foot long
@Subway
sandwich yesterday, and today I just pooped it out and it looks even bigger than the sandwich did!
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"Goodness gracious ever living god why do you hate me???" I screamed as the log emerged
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I'm high enough that I forgot the poop tweet I was gonna make, but that's okay, there will always be more poops.
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My poop just felt really good coming out, and when I looked down at it the log looked exactly like a penis. No wonder it felt so great.
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I ended up destroying a mall bathroom today. It was like liquid diarrhea mixed in with black tar, honey, and Elmer's school glue. 0/10
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Nothin' like a little bed time poop to help you sleep through the whole night!
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Happiness is having a poop
in your best friends bathroom.
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I was just peeing and I sneezed, which made me fart, and that turned into a poop. What a wild ride.
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I'm going to be doing the corn challenge soon where I eat nothing but corn for 2-3 days and then log my results. Pun intended. Stay tuned! 🌽
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