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@PhilChard
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I have international awards that I didn't pay for. @2BrokeTwimbos | @pblackafrica
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Pinned Tweet
Ooh I made the paper. Not sure why they chose the angriest looking pic there is 😂. But small wins
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Hyper inflation 🇿🇼
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Obsession with pretty politics always has people blowing a mental gasket when they see a pretty woman get cheated on. So if the wife wasn't pretty it would excuse the infidelity?
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In a way this is even more racist because it implies blacks think getting in a pool is extreme 😂
Peterhouse Boys - Extreme Reading 2019
Peterhouse Book Day 2019 was held on the 23rd of March. We decided to change it up this year by introducing an Extreme Reading Challenge, where members of staff would encourage their students to read in unorthodox places.
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Your papa telling you that you're broke because his lavish lifestyle isn't expensive to him while you're forced to sit on plastic chairs before tithing is some next level nonsense
"If it was expensive i wouldn't have bought it".
@prmakandiwa
speaks on his US$300 000 BMW 7 series.
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Here is a tip for all Zimbabweans who will be hosting family from the diaspora this holiday;
DON'T LET THEM GO BACK WITHOUT YOU.
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All this talk about land reform and distributing land to the poor blacks. If Zimbabweans were actually given land do you think they would be swimming across croc infested Limpopo waters to come and take your orders at Ocean Basket?
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Along with everything else that's embarrassing about Zimbabwe our media have really outdone themselves this morning. Herald live tweeting an accidental scene, HStv posting a dead body, an editor blaming a lack of curfews for tragic death.
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Saw an E-Class picking up hitchhikers by the Rhodesville traffic lights. 😭 Zimbabwe will happen to you
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From Avondale to Abu Dhabi GP. Maaaaaaaad
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Don Gorgon might have given me the best performance I've ever seen from an African artist and I've seen a lot of concerts
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WHY DIDN'T Y'ALL TELL ME GINIMBI WAS ON VUZU . I AM FINISHED 😂😂😂😂
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Oh they could exclude the weakest link and just title it R&B 🤷🏿♂️
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Amazon is gonna know everything about you and use differential pricing to squeeze every dollar from customers and it's scary.
Just off the top of my head they have shopping, shipping, music, what you say, TV, security cameras, food, medical delivery and now healthcare
Amazon is buying "membership-based" healthcare provider One Medical for $3.9 billion
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Guys I just had to walk through a restaurant's kitchen. Load shedding has their freezers on their knees and it smells like a Shad4ya stan's armpit after a long and hot day in the back of lorry 🤢. Might have to go vegan for a while
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We've seen how Amazon adjusts prices depending on what they I'm know about you. Now imagine a company that knows what you eat, what medication you're on, how little you work out and what your favourite products are. That's way too much data
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Everyone has the right to live where and how they want. I would encourage all diasporans who plan to move back home to come back home for at least 3 months and live like a resident, not someone coming home for the holidays
I’ve lived in Canada for 20 years and the only single place I want to retire in is Zim. Contrary to popular belief, the longer you live abroad, the more disconnected you feel from whatever country you’re in. It’s been that for me at least. I’ve never felt like I fit in here…1/
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Yup I definitely see her leaving that for this.
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Morning guys. Godfrey Kurauone is still in jail and being denied medical assistance. If you're able to, please help by spreading the word and donating
#FreeKurauone
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Maybe because you actually read the article
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Spent all year praying for work I love. Then they got answered in a big way.
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Zimbos are waking up to no electricity, taking a bucket bath in cold water, buying the most expensive data in the region to hop onto the internet to defend a country
Patriotism =\= delulu.
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My "what not to do on social media" presentation is basically your timeline.
Meat so good and big you salivate 🤤
Is your throat Deep enough?
#MambosChicken
#EatLikeAKing
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As cringe as this is. It works in this market. Based on this video, Steers has already met their impression KPIs and people now know more about the menu offerings, plus brand visibility. All the negative comments are about the ad, not their food.
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The biggest issue I have with that interview is she knew she wasn't willing to answer direct questions. So why did she even agree to it? Just refer someone who is actually doing the work to speak on what's happening.
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Being famous really seems like a horrible deal. You die and then idiots you never knew use your death to push their own twisted agendas
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The quality of Zim Dancehall dropped when they started mixing and mastering their songs properly. The best music from the genre sounds like it was recorded over a landlines phone call.
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After a Zimbabwean leaves the country for 3 days:
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Where does this man find time to play basketball?
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There's something really special happening with the Zim Afro House scene. These guys are up next.
@callmehalu
is on that list
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Letting the timeline drag your 12 year old child for a misogynistic post, then exposing that he follows Andrew Taint, then defending your child's concerning views, then dragging feminism is quite a busy Saturday morning.
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In all my years of being a fan, blogging and working with Hip Hop artists. I have never seen Zim Hip Hop as healthy as it is now.
Every Zim rapper that touched the stage at Fiesta had 8,000 people going CRAZY!!
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Look ma I'm in OkayAfrica and they're using really big words to describe me.
#PungweSessions
Zimbabwean entrepreneur and music impresario
@PhilChard
gives us an inside look into the newly released collaborative project 'Pungwe Sessions Volume II.'
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We are currently on the ground here at the ZIMAS. They're off to a promising ( yet late) start.
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Someone flew into Zim. Definitely didn't go into quarantine and is now posting a series of videos as they frequent night spots in large groups. That selfishness is why I won't be able to visit my immunocompromised family until 2022 and I'm furious
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Zim Hip Hop on an official Apple Music Playlist with Teyana Taylor, Sauti Sol & Lady Gaga.
@Rymez
@MichaelChiunda
@SokoMatemai
Look at what y'all did.
#PungweSessions
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I believe it was the great philosopher Ross Gellar who once asked if this colour is faded salmon or pink? To this day we are unsure. However what I do know is that when I buy my
#Jameson
, I
#BuyOriginal
.
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Hate to always be complaining but the way Zimbabwe creates scarcity around things like electricity, water, fuel, internet data, food really affects the way you function as a person.
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Here's a thought about Letitia Wright potentially being replaced for Black Panther. Since the original showed that you can sell a black movie without relying solely on recognisable names. How about finding an African to replace her so we can be spared from the terrible accents?
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Really happy for Sha Sha. But I'm sad she didn't get to enjoy her moment on stage. Artists spend their lives dreaming about those big award acceptance speeches in front of their peers and millions of viewers. She was forced to pre-record it from her living room.
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The RBZ and the Ministry of Finance are definitely not on speaking terms. 😂
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If the FIA wanted a fair race they should have red flagged the race. Allowed both drivers to get fresh tyres and do a standing start with a 5 lap sprint. This is ridiculous.
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Never. So she can find the strength to leave me?
I have a question for the Zim 🇿🇼men. Would you allow your wife to join the gym?
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Let's all spare a moment to pray for Rachel Kolisi at this time. Siya's DMs are gonna be a mess.
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HR Twitter is incredibly consistent. I'll give them that.
Our company was looking for a Marketing Officer. We received a number of CV’s. There was this particular interesting candidate that included “Golf as as a hobby,” We decided to have the interview in the course-9holes. Guess what,they didn’t know how to hold a club. Munonyeperei ?
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Big thanks to
@AppleMusic
for doing a feature on Zim Independence and our music. Shoutout to
@RangaMberi
@makiwahenry
@teemadzika
@DannythatGuy
@bheki
for helping compile the list.
🇿🇼🇿🇼🇿🇼🇿🇼
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Christians are undoubtedly the worst salesmen for their beliefs.
So who’s going to address Beyoncé’s “Black is King” being rooted in African Spiriualism & is greatly demonic 🙂
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I know your hearts are in the right place. But at what point do you realise that your prayers for Zimbabwe aren't working and maybe it's time to explore other options?
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You can tell Mutodi has no moral compass just by how he dresses. A Man U cap paired with a Liverpool shirt... I'm sick 🤮🤮
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Last night was fun. Shout to that girl in the middle. Nobody knew her but she executed the most confident photobomb I have ever seen.
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What's killing me is that the Peterhouse tweet is STILL UP. The young and hip Geography teacher who runs their social Media is gonna be in for a surprise when she gets back from Hockey practice.
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How is it called the Commonwealth when only one country gets to steal and keep the wealth?
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Mangwana has an iMac and an iPad Pro in his office which both come with calendars and yet he is using that massive paper calendar to keep track of the date. Do not expect any sense from these people.
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Where does one buy Zim netball team kit replicas in XXL?
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Zimbabwean florists are trying to cover all their covid losses plus school fees this Valentines Day 🤣🤣🤣. Nah I'm sending the Mrs a picture of a bouquet and telling her to use her imagination.
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At least Babes was lucky enough to be hacked by polite hackers who return the account once they realise their tweets are costing the account owner money. So nice. Much consideration.
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Nah that rapper got cancelled cancelled!!! Dude is shouting out all the hoods in Zim in his announcement video. He NEEDS that bag 😂
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I wish this
@exqwizit04
tribute had been 30 minutes. He's been dropping hits since I was a teenager
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Some of y'all are stressed right now because you've been too scared to have the hard conversations about what type of relationship you're in and today we all get to find out the same time as you.
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That Zim baddies page is doing more to repair SA - Zim relations than any diplomat ever could. As an a nation we need to encourage all the baddies we know to unlock their pages and let thirst heal the SADC region.
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It was a cartoon written by white Americans, voiced by white Americans Victoria. Pride Rock was a fictional place….
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Find a job you're happy to go to at 5am even if you're running on 4 hours of sleep and underpaid.
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Realised something today. Zimbabwe has become one of the failed states we would see on the news in years past. We'd read the articles and watch the news and mutter "Thank God things aren't that bad here" . But they are. We are just people to realise it
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Shocking video as shark does shark things.
Shocking video shows a shark biting the finger of a woman that attempted to feed it in Western Australia, dragging her into the water. She escaped with a fracture and a torn ligament.
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Biggest lesson from 2020 - don't count money that hasn't hit your account yet.
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Currently selling. Please retweet. An intern could be on your timeline 😬😬
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Zimbabweans how are you coping with the increased cost of living right now. What hacks and cost cutting measures have you had to implement?
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YT celebs are really tired of people thinking they're clean
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Yesterday during a game of 30 Seconds the answer was Elijah. The person with the card said "a famous prophet" and someone answered "Passion Java" . Man I died.
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These are the only pics from the wedding because I was either busy checking how badly my crypto wallet was doing or enjoying myself 😂.
@DannythatGuy
is now the head of a household. What an incredibly scary and beautiful thought
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Depends on how much traffick is on the road that day.
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They have a predictable playbook. Someone/s accrued massive debt in USD and are now paying it back in ZWL. Why else would they institute a law that devalues the USD by 40% overnight?
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Your unread texts before you buy airtime with Ecocash . After you buy airtime with Ecocash
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It's Friday and
@KingKandoro
hasn't wished me a happy weekend yet. I'm extremely insulted considering I've bought multiple tickets to your little shows.
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This year was tough as hell. But somehow I managed to achieve most of my goals.
Moved back to Harare
Invoiced the most I ever have
Got back into content creation
Got professional help for my mental health
Got back into gym after a 4 year hiatus induced by depression
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So proud and thankful for these guys. They pulled something special together in no time.
Thanks
@shokofestival
for having us.
@sokomatemai
don't ever look up to me like that again I don't handle responsibility well 🤣🤣
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You gotta be REALLY angry with the service to pay to promote a tweet complaining about poor service 😂😂😂😂
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@JoeBudden
@MAL___
@thisisrory
Follow up to your discussion about record label's surviving on catalog music. In Buzz Angle's 2018 Music Report catalog music accounted for ~60% consumption. Profit share would be higher because of reduced marketing costs.
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