https://t.co/dqY3yrr1GD

One night only in Auckland. Ngā mihi.

Your gf is in my DMs. She’s asking me to do a video wishing you a happy birthday. She really loves you.

If more people looked at these pictures there would be no suffering.

Thank you to the academy for this nomination. Vote early and vote often (make some new email accounts).

thread of comedians next to paul williams’ poster at edinburgh fringe

Melbourne, there is a good deal happening for the next 3 hours. https://t.co/QuEalbUxuO

Oh don’t you dare look back. Just keep your eyes on me. I said “you’re holding back”. She said “shut up & dance with me”. I said “woah you don’t have to be rude about it”. She said “shut up & dance with me”. I said “look, I’ll go sit down if you’re gonna be disrespectful.”

Yes, Willy Wonka is weird but his weirdness is actually a strength as it helps make his products unique.

Good day mate Melbourne! March 28 - April 21.

The English Patient (1996)? Have you tried getting off the London underground at rush hour? More like The English Impatient (1996).

Director of Ferrari (2023): It’s a car racing movie. Get me a dam driver! Casting director of Ferrari (2023): (thinking he said ‘Adam Driver’) ok I’m on it.

This one really landed with a thud. Back to the drawing board I suppose. Sometimes I wonder - what’s the point?

I once saw Chris Rock drop in at a comedy show in NY. It was an improvised Harry Potter show. He was incredible. The guy knows his stuff.

Season’s greetings to all my followers.

Made this Christmas skit with Sam Campbell and @Rich_Fulcher and @RobertAuton It's got an animation by @World_IsEnding and a song by @PaulWilliams_12 https://t.co/KQy8h7oX06

When you assume you make an ass out of u but I come out completely unscathed

When someone says ‘You’ll never guess how this video ends’ I spend the rest of the video guessing how the video ends and I often get it right. Don’t tell me I can’t do something.

In the UK they don’t call it a man cave they call it a

I’m on a tv show.

I was interviewed about television. https://t.co/Rwv0TfCH1v