Paddy McGuinness ❤️
@PaddyMcGuinness
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PADDY MCGUINNESS live tour 2024!Ticket links below. #autismawareness
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Congratulations, you’re a national embarrassment, a coward and really shit at throwing a punch. Oh and the professional sports person you attacked from behind scores against your club minutes later. Birmingham is a great City but in every bunch of roses there’s alway one prick!
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Those One Direction lads are all over this years
@socceraid
👍🏼 wee
@NiallOfficial
assistant manager for rest of the world!
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Found out a shop nearby has put the price of hand sanitizer up from 99p to £4.99! How do these people sleep at night? That’s the price of milk, bread and eggs for families that are already financially stretched. Sad to hear but even sadder that I’m not surprised.
#coronavirus
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Please stop sending me these!!! 😆 Good luck Big Dunc and Rafa aka Max & Paddy.
@Everton
👍
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Dear Police Officer. If you see me sat on the grass I’m not sunbathing. I’m a 46 year old man who simply jogged beyond his limits. Please leave me be, soon as I get my vision back I will attempt to get home!
#staysafe
#stayhome
#sticktoyourlimits
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Done myself homemade chips, sausage and egg for tea (dinner for you Southerners). Not the healthiest of dishes but one of my all time faves. Obviously a side order of white bread, with best butter and a pot of tea on the side!
#oldskootea
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Am I or have I ever voted Tory? - No.
Did I vote for Brexit? - No.
Do I want Boris Johnson to recover from this awful virus? - Yes.
Do I want his pregnant wife to recover? - Yes.
Do I want us all safe and well? (Even the dickheads who bought all the loo roll)- Yes.
#staysafe
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Morning! Thanks for all your tweets regarding ‘Is This The Way To Barnard Castle’, glad it pepped you up during these mad old times. If I’d known it was going to get nigh on 3 million views, I’d have put some Mascara on my whiskers! Have a belter. 👍
#isthisthewaytobarnardcastle
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1. Just had a deep breathe and walk away moment. Dropped my little ones off at a play centre. Parked in a disability space while they got out. Had all our relevant disability badges on display only for some bell end to come over and tell us that we don’t look disabled?
#ignorance
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I’m told it’s been 20 years since Phoenix Nights first aired on
@Channel4
this makes me feel very nostalgic but mostly old! While I’ve got the rose tinted specs on, any questions? I’ll be here for an hour. 👍
#phoenixnights
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A constant throughout my life. 15:00 Christmas Day will never be the same. RIP HM Queen Elizabeth.
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Thank you for all the kind messages regarding tonight’s
@BBC_TopGear
tribute to Eddie Kidd. It was an honour to spend time with Eddie and his wonderful family. A true British legend.
#EddieKidd
#TopGear
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Thank you all for your kind words and wonderful support. It means the world to me and my family. x
#ourfamilyandautism
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I’m nervous yet full of pride. After 4 years of planning and sleepless nights our Documentary ‘Our Family and Autism’ airs tonight at 9pm on
@BBCOne
I really hope it helps folk understand Autism a little better, along with all it’s highs and lows.
#ourfamily
#ourfamilyandautism
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I don’t get out much so please forgive my excitement but I’ve just used an Airfryer for the first time. Absolute game changer! Recipes welcomed. Looking forward to cooking different things. Praying Putin doesn’t unleash nuclear Armageddon before I’ve tried Kale in it.
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I never knew Captain Sir Tom Moore personally but, like millions of others, it felt like I did. He brought us together at a time when we needed it the most. I’d smile whenever he popped up on the telly, he made me feel proud, optimistic and hopeful for the future. RIP Captain
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Found this beauty in the garage. All those under the age of 35, move on, nothing to see here.
#zammo
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Over the years I’ve been fortunate enough to eat in some amazing restaurants. I still don’t think anything comes close to a homemade, piled high, gonna need a flood wall for the gravy, filthy, dirty Sunday dinner!
#filthydirtydinner
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Had a vasectomy today.
Initial anaesthetic is a little bit of an eye waterer but the rest of the procedure was a doddle! Now in bed, with a bag of ice on my pippins, eating revels (the orange ones are my fave).
#vasectomy
#testicletalk
#tuesday
🍒
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I was on Sean’s team the first time I did 8 Out Of 10 Cats. He instantly made me feel welcomed and at ease. A very funny man who was a master of his craft. A massive loss to the world of comedy. Deepest condolences to his family. RIP Sean Lock.
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Paul O’Grady let me stand in for him on his chat show over 15 years ago. He was always supportive, kind and just great to be around. Paul started in the pubs and working men’s clubs but finished has an icon of British TV. I’ll miss him very much. Rest in peace Paul.
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Such sad news. Des O’Connor was never afraid to laugh at himself and that was part of his charm. Whether it was Eric Morecambe ridiculing him, or Freddie Starr smashing his studio set up, Des always laughed along. Another part of my childhood telly viewing gone. RIP Des O’Connor
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Today I had one of those wobbles. The ones were you can’t see good for bad? I’ve since given my head a shake! There’s far more good souls in this world than bad. Otherwise what’s the point of having kids, being with friends and enjoying beautiful days like this?
#staysafe
🙏
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She gave me pointers on how to drive a Ferrari very fast and hunted me down in a banger race. Brilliantly bonkers and an amazing human being! RIP the great Sabine Schmitz.
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I often had days where it felt like my head was going to explode. Days when you question if it’s worth it? What’s the point? Why is everyone else ok but I’m not? Dark, hollow, unhappy days. I decided to talk to someone about it. Best decision I ever made.
#WorldMentalHealthDay
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7. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, stay calm, take the deep breathe and educate the ignorant. You’ll feel better and you’ll still have a job to pay your mortgage and look after your family. PM 👍🏼
#ignorance
#autismawareness
#hypermobility
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A level results not great? Don’t worry, I got a C and two Us and I’m the host of the worlds biggest motoring show, Top Gear. 😉
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Bloody hell, just read the sad news about Nikki Grahame. Definitely one of the stars from the glory years of reality tv. I met her a long time ago and she was a lovely girl. RIP young lady.
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Myself and my Phoenix Nights cast mates used to sing the theme tune to Minder on tour and on the Karaoke! Gutted I never got to meet him, always wanted to be Terry McCann. Another icon from my childhood gone. RIP Dennis Waterman.
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I’m shocked Junior Doctors are on a £14 hourly wage? I find that mind blowing, considering I wasn’t far behind that teaching Boxercise classes in the early noughties. Are you shocked by this? The Dr’s pay that is, not the Boxercise?
#JuniorDoctorsStrike
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Supremely talented, RIP Helen McCrory. Sending love to Damian and family.
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I do love Christmas but much like a meal in a restaurant, soon as it’s finished I want the table cleared. Any one else thinking of taking the tree down?
#BoxingDay
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Coming from a single parent household and knowing how much it helped my Mum out over the years, I salute you
@MarcusRashford
This won’t be the first, or last, time you hear this but well played sir. 👏👏👏👏👏
#MarcusRashford
#feedthekids
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In every Prison movie I’ve watched people tend to come out of isolation looking in peak physical condition? I’ve only been on lockdown for 18 days and I can no longer see my penis!
#bangediton
#stayhome
#staysafe
#washyourhands
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Visited my old two up two down yesterday. Same street, I spent my childhood in the one on the right and my teenage years in the other. Neither had double glazing or fancy doors when me and my Mum lived there. So many good memories. Skint, loads of friends, always happy.
#roots
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It was our children’s school nativity today. Not a dry eye in the house. So proud of how far they’ve come. When they first started they wouldn’t even sit in assembly. Today my little boy, Leo, played Joseph, Penelope was one of the three kings and little Felicity was an Angel.
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Thank you for your support and positivity for this series of
@BBC_TopGear
Everyone involved works hard to make it what it is. The ratings are the best we’ve had and the feed back has been great. We’ll be back with more later this year, minus the Lycra!
#TopGear
#mamil
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Can’t wait to get this day over with! RIP John Challis. Boycie was hands down my favourite character in Only Fools And Horses. I’ll be watching a few reruns tonight and raising a glass. I didn’t know him but thanks for the memories John. 🍻
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I’m putting the surprise cup of tea on my list of amazing things. If someone offers to make you a cuppa that’s always welcomed, but if someone makes you a surprise cup of tea, well that’s just next level loveliness!
#amazingthings
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Next on my list of amazing things. Having a full English breakfast... for your tea!
#amazingthings
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Afternoon. Man’s not got Peter Kay tickets. Have a lovely day. x
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I loved Caroline Aherne. Watching this tribute on BBC1 is bringing back so many wonderful memories of her genius.
#carolineaherneatthebbc
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One of my favourites from childhood years, teenage years and as an adult! Gutted. Barry Chuckle RIP sir.
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Just found a bottle of Buckie in the garage? Looks like I’ve sampled it at some point? No recollection of this but I must’ve realised the grave danger I was in!
#wreckthehoosejuice
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When it comes to McD’s drive thru getting our orders wrong Top Trumps, today I take the bragging rights! 🥇 Two sausage & egg McMuffins with ketchup, minus sausage, egg and ketchup. I doff my cap to Macclesfield McD’s. The wrong order consistency levels are to be applauded!
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Absolutely gutted to hear the sad news about Bobby Ball. I had the pleasure of working with him years ago. I defy anyone to put on a pair of braces without saying “Rock On Tommy!”
#legend
#iconic
#rockontommy
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This little scamp turned up at ours a month ago. Very skinny and very timid. He now owns the gaff! My daughter called him Millie, I haven’t the heart to tell her he’s a boy! Millie with the willy. Such is life.
#millie
#wednesday
#stray
#staysafe
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Can all the money spent keeping that sack of shit Ian Brady alive for all these years now be used to help find little Keith Bennett?
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Yes! So glad to hear the reports that Christian Eriksen is stable in hospital. All grounds, pitches from grassroots upwards need defibrillators as standard. ❤️
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What a shock. Another great leaving us. When Icons pass away it really resonates. RIP Tina Turner.
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A giant of broadcasting who made the job look effortless. Steve Wright in the afternoon was a big part of my formative years. It was such an honour to appear on his shows and see the master at work. RIP Steve Wright.
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I was lucky to grow up in a multicultural area. Playing in various households I learned one thing, we’re all the same. Mums bollocking kids, Dads pissed off because they’d been working nights, siblings bickering, etc. George Floyd’s murder can’t be in vain.
#BlackLivesMatter
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Tonight's Take Me Out is in memory of Charlie. A fantastic lad who I'm sure will be greatly missed by his wonderful friends & family. RIP
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All the best for 2022. Here’s to good health and happiness. Don’t be bitter, be better.
#HAPPYNEWYEAR2022
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Going to rewatch the first series of Cracker tonight. RIP Robbie Coltrane. Never met the man but thoroughly enjoyed his work.
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So shocking. Praying for Christian Eriksen to come through this.
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I was in a room with Big Dunc once. He was suited and booted, smoking a fat cigar. He didn’t say a word, just stood there smoking. Scared the shit out of me! After seeing this video I’m thinking of resitting my GCSE’s.
Little brother got a message from Big Dunc giving him a little kick up the arse for slacking in school 🤣 our footy club is boss UTFT 💙
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06:30 Woken up by my son to get a fly out of his room.
07:30 Broke up a fight between my three kids.
08:15 Emptied Cat shit out of the litter tray.
08:30 Fed Cat.
09:00 Emptied Cat shit out of litter tray.
09:30 Kids gave me homemade cards. Love it! ❤️
#FathersDay
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Thank you
@Tyson_Fury
and
@anthonyjoshua
for holding the biggest fight ever on my birthday, August 14th. What an excuse for a night out! Now if you could see your way of changing the venue to Manchester that’ll really put the cherry on my birthday cake. Cheers lads 🥊
#FuryJoshua
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Some desserts can be hit and miss but I’ve never been let down by a Custard Tart. Ever! Always good.
#dessertyoucanrelyon
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Back from a little holiday. First stop is always the Chippy! Pudding, chips, peas, curry sauce and a tub of gravy on the side. All washed down with a can of D&B. I didn’t have any bread, I’m watching my weight.
#homecomforts
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Loving the
@ThierryHenry
disco beard! Now where did I put that Donna Summer album?
#ThierrysDiscoBeard
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Doing the Christmas dinner food shop today. Anyone else with me on the no Parsnips rule? They’re just dirty, low down, roast potato masquerading, perfumed carrot tasting little bastards!!! Or is it just me?
#weekend
#bigshop
#christmasdinner
#noparsnips
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Discovered a lovely breakfast this morning. Fried tomatoes on toast!
Top tip try adding a little bit of salt, pepper, bacon, sausage and egg just to lift it a bit. Really nice.
#sunday
#breakfasttips
#staysafe
#stayhome
#WashYourHands
#HappyEaster
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Morning! One more day for us and we can get back to some kind of normality. We don’t have any support over Chrimmy which means we’re outnumbered! Had a few meltdowns (and so have the kids) but we survived....just! Roll on regular routines. Hope you coped ok. 👍🏼
#autismawareness
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Nipped to the shops and wore a face mask for first time. Bit of a weird experience? I felt ok but some of the looks I was getting? It’s just a bit of PPE? Each to their own I suppose. Although I did spot a couple of Nurses, also wearing masks. That was good enough for me. 👍
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In the world of Maize based, shiny fingered, snacks I’m putting these cheeky rascals top of the tree! Don’t come at me with Monster Munch either. They’re not even in the same league!
#maizebasedsnacksoflockdown
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Chris Rock has either got the best chin ever or Will Smith has got the worst right. The man played Ali! How was Rock still standing?
#Oscars
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2. I took a deep breathe and sent my children in. Luckily they didn’t understand what was going on? Once they’d happily gone in I approached this ignorant tool. All I wanted to do was bounce him off every car but there would only be one loser in that, me!
#ignorance
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I’m just going off what the Junior Doctors are saying? I trust them to cut me open with a scalpel so I’m going to trust them on this.
#JuniorDoctorsStrike
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Watching Still Game on
@BBCOne
This, for me, is consistently the best British comedy on tele. Love it!
#stillgame
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FFS Capri-Sun! Nigh on 40 years I’ve been dealing with this. In a world of 5G and Space exploration surely you can give us an easier way to get into these little blighters?
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Not seen Dickinson’s Real Deal for a while but it seems the Duke has reached peak tanning Nirvana. No one gets close, not even 1980’s Judith Chalmers! The man is quite simply the tanning 🐐
#nofilterneeded
#goat
#tan
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@JeremyClarkson
The same thing that’s happened to Top Gear JC. New personnel, bigger ratings. Love you 😘
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I really hope my mate
@flintoff11
documentary goes some way in helping anyone else out there struggling with Bulimia. Make sure to tune in, tonight at 21:00 on
@BBCOne
#livingwithbulimia
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You in or out tonight for NYE? I’m double in, takeaway (not sure what yet?) and a few ales in front of the telly, lovely stuff. PS NYE feels like a Pizza night?
#NewYearsEve
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If I’m brewing up for someone and they ask for half a sugar in their tea, I always put a full one in. Usually they have a sip and say
“oooh that’s a good brew”
Let this be our little secret.
#halfaspoon
#lifehack
#fullspoon
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A very good morning to you all, especially Riley Regan,
@IngsDanny
and the mighty
@AVFCOfficial
Wonderful gesture.
#autismawareness
#autismunderstanding
#avfc
#monday
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@Tyson_Fury
@anthonyjoshua
lads! Have we forgotten about my Birthday treat already? Aug14th? I’ve got the baby sitter booked and everything. I need a night out boys, it’s been 12 months ffs! I’ll fight
@BronzeBomber
myself if it means I can get out for my Birthday!
#undisputed
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When it comes to dispensing Gravy or Custard a Pyrex jug is the absolute GOAT! It just seems to taste nicer?
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