PHP CEO BLUECHECKMARK.JPEG
@PHP_CEO
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CEO OF A PHP COMPANY. DISAPPOINTING HUSBAND. DISAPPOINTED FATHER. ETH ME @ 0xdC91bEE94699dF922475f13d1151b9a2A61B39f3
Joined January 2014
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOMEONE CALLED JASON HAS BEEN ENCODING AND DECODING DATA IN OUR APP. PLEASE CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS
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HOW IS OUR PRODUCT DIFFERENT FROM THE COMPETITION? WELL THEY DONT MAKE ME ANY MONEY FOR A START
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THE PLATFORM TEAM JUST COMPLETED OUR MIGRATION TO K8S AND IT ONLY TOOK SIX YEARS! 🚀 FROM THOSE FIRST LOUD GRUMBLES TO THOSE FINAL MUCH SUBDUED GRUMBLES THE TEAM NEVER GAVE UP
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THE BEST DEVELOPERS ALWAYS WRITE MORE CODE THAN THEY READ #HIRINGTIPS
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"LATE CAPITALISM"? I DISAGREE WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED
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I DEEPLY REGRET MY PARTICIPATION IN THE BOARDS ACTIONS I ONLY INTENDED TO APPROVE ORDERING TWO FEWER LATTES THAN USUAL BUT AS IT TURNS OUT THAT VOTE WAS IN FACT INTENDED TO OUST TWO OTHER BOARD MEMBERS
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A COMMON MISTAKE THAT MILLENNIALS MAKE IS TWEETING OUT INSULTS ABOUT THEIR COLLEAGUES IN 140 CHARACTERS PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING: THAT LIMIT HAS BEEN GONE FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS USE THE FULL 280
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YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAPPENS IN A GOLD RUSH OTHER THAN PEOPLE FAILING TO GET GOLD? PEOPLE GETTING GOLD
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NOW THAT CHATGPT CAN TELL ME HOW MANY GOLF BALLS FIT IN A SCHOOL BUS DEVELOPERS ARE OBSOLETE! THE ANSWER BY THE WAY IS EITHER -300,990, 7.5x10^18, OR THREE BUSHELS
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IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I MUST ANNOUNCE WE ARE LAYING OFF 20% OF OUR STAFF BELIEVE ME, THIS PROBABLY HURTS ME MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU! PS: IF YOU DIDN'T GET THIS EMAIL YOU ARE ONE OF THE ONES FIRED
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WHY DID TWITTER HAVE SO MANY EMPLOYEES? MY DISCOUNT HAY BALES WEBSITE HAS OVER A HUNDRED FILES AND I ONLY NEED TEN PEOPLE TO RUN IT!
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HI TEAM OVER THE WEEKEND I DECIDED TO DUST OFF MY CODING SKILLS AND IVE ADDED SOME NEW FEATURES! YOURE WELCOME!
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HELLO AND SEASONS GREETINGS! IN ORDER TO CONTINUE SUPPLYING YOU WITH OUR BEST IN CLASS SERVICE OFFERING I AM EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE ARE INCREASING OUR PRICES BY 300%
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ELON: TURN IT INTO A GRAPH I'M TOO BUSY TO READ ALL THAT SHIT JASON: HAHA OH OK NO PROBLEM :))))) XOXO https://t.co/LQJePezpeV
What’s the best tool for making stunning charts? How do people convert the generic charts in google sheets or excel into good looking ones? Is there software for this or do designers do it manually?
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I JUST ASKED GPT-3 TO TELL ME A STORY ABOUT TWO CITIES AND IT MADE UP A PRETTY CONVINCING TALE ABOUT THE BEST OF TIMES AND THE WORST OF TIMES PRETTY AMAZING WHAT AI CAN DO THESE DAYS
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SIX MONTHS AGO OUR INVESTORS ADVISED US THAT OUR 36 MONTHS OF RUNWAY WAS EXCESSIVE AND TO INCREASE OUR BURN RATE TODAY IM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE SUCCEEDED IN INCREASING OUR BURN RATE AND ALSO THAT WE ARE SHUTTING THE COMPANY DOWN BYE
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BAD NEWS: WE HAVE TO RESCIND YOUR JOB OFFER GIVEN THE ECONOMIC CLIMATE HOWEVER I KNOW YOU'LL THANK ME FOR GIVING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO HELP THE COMPANY NAVIGATE THIS CHALLENGING PERIOD BY NOT HIRING YOU SO YOU'RE WELCOME!
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PUTIN INVENTED THE 4 DAY WORK WEEK TO TEAR DOWN AMERICA
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IN 2022 I WAS THE CEO OF PHP. AND I HELPED TURN ALL THE COMPUTERS OFF. TODAY I REGRET IT. HERES WHERE THINGS WENT WRONG:
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