THERE’S NEVER ANYTHING TO WEAR IN THIS HOUSE.

MEOW MEANS I LOVE YOU IN KITTEN :3

WE WERE BOTH ON A LUNCHBREAL. ANOTHER GUY PRAYED OVER US. MAYBE WE LOOK POSSESSED.

REMEMBERING THAT TIME I HAD A PUBLIC CRASH OUT SO MOVING THAT SOME MAN QUITE LITERALLY FELL TO HIS KNEES AND STARTED WAILING “IT’S SO HARD” AND WHILE HE WAS DOING THIS I WAS HITTING MY HEAD ON THE METAL SCAFFOLDING. I MISS HIM. WE WERE ONCE TWEEDLEDEE AND TWEEDLEDUM.

ONE WORD WITH YOUR MEEMAW AND I KNOW SHE’D BE PRAYING FOR ME IN HER CHURCH GROUP.

THEY ALREADY THINK I’M ETERNALLY DAMNED. WHICH MEANS THEY PRAY FOR ME WITH REAL VIGOR. #BLESS #UP

YOU GUYS ARE NETWORKING ALL WRONG. WHILE YOU ENSURE YOU GET LIST ,,, I ENSURE THAT BIBLE THUMPERS PRAY FOR ME BEFORE BED. WE ARE NOT THE SAME.

MY MOM IS ALREADY SENDING ME IG REELS ABOUT GOD’S PROTECTION. I CALLED IN THE BIG GUNS YOU BEST BELIEVE. GIVE IT 2 HOURS AND I WILL HAVE 50 WOMEN ON FACEBOOK PRAYING FOR ME BEFORE BED.

I AM ALL THREE STOOGES.

I SAT DOWN TO READ MY BIBLE AND MY PRAYER CANDLE EXPLODED AND SHARDS OF GLASS WENT EVERYWHERE. OK …. SO WHAT’S HAPPENING…..

I WHITTLED MY SKIN OFF. I’M KINDA WORRIED THE FINGERPRINT WON’T MAKE IT. I’M ALREADY MISSING A PORTION OF MY PRINT.. I’M LITERALLY LOSING MY IDENTITY….

i walk into my barber shop i say "make me look like PEZOLCFTD"

FUCK THE GROCERY STORE. IT HAS THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE DMV.

EATING IS VERY EPIC BUT ONLY WHEN I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. IT’S THE DAILY PROCESS I HATE. AN ABSOLUTE CHORE.

AND DO NOT TELL ME TO DRINK SOYLENT. I DON’T LIKE THAT EITHER.

I DON’T LOVE HOW YOU HAVE TO EAT EVERYDAY. IT GETS REAL OLD REAL FAST. IT’S A LABOR. FINDING FOOD BUYING FOOD PREPARING FOOD. EVERYDAY? WHY CAN’T I BE SOMETHING LIKE A CACTUS. EAT ONCE A MONTH. OR AT LEAST LIKE A CAT WITH A JAR OF KIBBLE. EVERYDAY IS KIBBLE.

JUDGING BY THE AMOUNT OF PHOTOS AND VIDEOS TAKEN OF ME SMOKING IN MY WINDOW… I MUST BE A VIBE.

WE DISCUSS TINOS TOGETHER OVER CIGARETTES. YOU WOULDN’T GET IT.

FOR ME,,, FEEDING PIGEONS IS COMMUNING WITH MY MEDITERRANEAN DIASPORA.

MANY ARE CALLING PEZOLCFTD THE NAPPING SPOT OF THE CENTURY.

TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS THAT FEELS LIKE DISASSOCIATING IN THE BACK SEAT LISTENING TO DRAKE’S “HOLD ON , WE’RE GOING HOME” ON THE RADIO AFTER GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIBLINGS AND YOU’RE IN 5PM TRAFFIC. AND LEFTOVER PORK CHOPS ARE FOR DINNER.