Otto English
@Otto_English
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Born Andrew Scott. Aggravating entity. Author of Fake History. Fake Heroes out 25 May. Representation @pew_literary
London
Joined June 2011
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Pinned Tweet
Well, I had my doubts about AI, but since it's started auto generating, "customers say" reviews of my books on Amazon, it's completely won me over.
Yes. I'm easily flattered, ok?
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Sex education protects children. That's very much the point of it.
I do not want primary school children full stop to have sex education. Nor do I want children to be taught about changing gender. We need to protect their innocence and childhood.
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Boris Johnson flew in a private jet to Blackpool for a photo op today. He shaved an estimated 20 minutes off the time it'd have taken by train, cost taxpayers thousands of £ more and made a mockery of his climate pledges in the process. But hey he's King of the World
#LevellingUp
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When Allegra Stratton married James Forsyth, political Editor of the Spectator - the best man was Rishi Sunak. The lines between our journalists - expecially those at the Spectator and Sun - and our politicians have never been more blurry. And that is a very big problem.
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They finally did it. They blamed Germany for Brexit. The circle of life is complete.
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Trump's grandfather died in the 1918 flu pandemic and the subsequent life insurance policy that paid out created the Trump fortune. This is the most mind boggling thing I've learned during Covid 19
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Multi-millionaire Brexit pub landlord Tim Martin wishing his employees "the best of luck" as he offers them nothing and suggests they try and get a job elsewhere. What a great guy, what a patriot, what a twat.
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Wonder if the Nigel Farage, currently in Belgrade, interfering in Australian internal affairs, is related to the Nigel Farage who spent a decade telling 'unelected foreign bureacrats' to 'butt out' of British affairs.
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Old John Cleese has become everything young John Cleese mocked and ridiculed. It's really too depressing to watch.
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Greta Thunberg is 21.
And on the day it has been revealed that Antarctica has seen an unprecedented leap of 38.5C above the seasonal average - perhaps we should start listening to her over some account called 'Oli in London'
Committed truant Greta has spent more time in prison vans than in school classrooms.
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I could actually weep. This woman has been so lied to and misinformed that she thinks we are "getting our courts back from Germany."
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Nigel Farage is awfully, awfully quiet today. No tweets. Nothing. You would imagine that such a towering political figure, so obsessed with nations and sovereignty would have said something on here about the invasion of Ukraine - wouldn't you?
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If Keir Starmer has to resign for a solitary work beer and a collective work curry on a trip to Durham while canvassing then presumably Boris Johnson absolutely has to go for those (checks notes) 15 parties, leaving dos and karaokes at Downing Street... or am I missing something?
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Nigel Farage failed his O levels, has no qualifications in the area whatsoever and has been on Newsnight talking about Coronavirus. There's your problem Britain.
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Stop what you are doing and watch this 30 second video of an academic confronting the risible
@lozzafox
with a dose of truth.
Trust me.
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If you're sneering at a 19 year old girl who was groomed age 15 and who has subsequently seen her three babies die your moral compass is fucked frankly. Repugnant reactions to a desperate human tragedy. You don't have to like Shamima Begum but show some basic human decency.
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If you're shocked to discover that Boris Johnson lied to you about Christmas parties - then wait till you hear about something called Brexit.
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Over recent years I have sometimes found myself defending Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, but today I learn that they "held hands in public" and that's it. They're on their own.
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Sam Ryder doing more for GB than our politicians have managed in a decade. At last people actually like us
#Eurovision
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How Murdoch plays you.
Sun in Scotland.... depicts Johnson as a limp dicked loser. In England all the ire is aimed at Corbyn.
You're still falling for it Britain?
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Truss is insipid, utterly unconvincing, unlikeable, muddled and quite clearly completely out of her depth. Which would be fine if she was a middle manager on a potato farm. But she is the British Prime Minister in the midst of a major crisis of her own government's making.
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December 17th.
One day before the Downing Street party. Similar number of people.
Officers have shut down a wedding where 40 people were in attendance.
Holding large gatherings could be the difference between life and death for someone else.
#London
is in Tier 3. You must not mix inside with anyone, who is not in your household or support bubble.
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Piers Morgan's viewing figures on Talk TV have slumped to 62,000. Reckon I could get that with a slow motion pair of falling pants.
WDYT
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Imagine tweeting this from a private jet in a cost of living crisis when you've literally just cancelled the high-speed train line to the city you've been in. What sort of monstrous lack of awareness is going on?
This week I took long-term decisions to build a brighter future and change our country.
This change will:
🏘️ Transform our towns
🚆 Boost our transport
📚 Improve our education
🚭 Reduce cancer deaths
Here’s how👇
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One of the key selling points of Brexit was that "no longer" would cheap foreign labour undercut British workers. The P and O debacle totally undermines that lie doesn't it.
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The government wants you to think it was bad luck that we have the worst Covid death rate in the world. It wasn't bad luck. It was bad government.
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Jonathan Van Tam claiming quarantine for incoming travellers has been in place in UK since... the 30th February. A date which doesn't actually exist.
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Among the very many dispiriting things about that racist phone call to David Lammy is the fact that the woman thought it was perfectly ok to say such offensive things - on national radio. The last few years have simply legitimized bigotry. The political discourse has enabled it.
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Hi Matt - my Mum has Alzheimer's and has had to sell her home and spend her life savings on a slow painful decline over 6 years. Quick question - given your party has been in power all that time, why have you done absolutely nothing until now?
I am determined to end the injustice of people having to sell their home to pay for care.
So we will inject cash immediately & build a cross-party consensus that guarantees no one needing care will have to sell their home to pay for it.
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Stop what you are doing.
Watch this.
Chris Patten - daring to tell you the truth in 2 minutes about the ocean of shit we are in.
#bbcqt
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Boris Johnson backing Conservative party member has just called
@lbc
and told
@SangitaMyska
that Rishi Sunak "isn't even British". My jaw is officially on the floor.
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So the fuel crisis has nothing to do with Brexit but we can solve it by reversing Brexit legislation on visas.
What's THAT position called in yoga?
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Keep hearing commentators say "Nothing Vladimir Putin says can be trusted or taken at face value." And they're absolutely right. The problem is, that precisely the same words can be uttered about Boris Johnson.
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If Steve Barclay brings the same skill, leadership and determination to his new role as Health Secretary that he brought to his time as Brexit Minister I predict that we'll all be dead by the end of the year.
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Having backed the wrecking ball of Brexit, the dimwitted Nadine Dorries now seems intent on destroying the BBC. She epitomises the worst kind of mutton headed libertarian vandal. Smashing up everything that offends their inadequacy.
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The Polish chef who took on the London bridge terrorist despite being stabbed is called Luckasz. And Luckasz deserved a George Cross.
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So Lineker steps down, but BBC chairperson Richard Sharp, who helped facilitate an £800,000 loan for Boris Johnson and who's personally donated £400,000 to the Conservative party stays in his job ... got it... impartiality
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Your. Gas. Bill. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. Refugees.
Energy bill with the discount for a 78-year-old pensioner. How the fk are they supposed to afford this. All you supporters refugees are welcome here. Sitting lovely and warm, no bills to pay. Fkn great, eh. LOOK AFTER OUR OWN .
#NOTOREFUGEES
.
#GETTHEMOUT
. IT'S A FKN DISGRACE.
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If you really, genuinely, think that Keir Starmer's beer is equivalent to the multiple Downing Street breaches, the uninvestigated Cummings incident and Johnson's incessant lies and rule breaking - for which he has been fined... you've either been 'ad or you're fucking stupid
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Matt Hancock makes it to the I'm a celebrity final. That's Matt Hancock who didn't give a fuck as he ignored the very rules that he'd put in place. The rules that prevented millions of us from hugging loved ones as they died or holding proper funerals. You arseholes
#ImACelebrity
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Wait till The Mail hears about the £1 million a year Daily Mail columnist, who left his 2nd wife for Tory Party's former head of communications - 24 years his junior - before fucking the country with his incompetence.
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Imagine if Sadiq Khan had said he'd been talking to Allah about his transport strategy for London.
Theresa May reveals how her faith in God gives her confidence she is 'doing the right thing'
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Fun fact: If you have an Irish passport and live in Britain, you now have more rights here and across Europe than a British passport holder. The UK Government has literally made its own people second class citizens in their own country.
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Two bits of advice to those planning to go into higher education
● study what interests you and not what you think will get you a highly paid job. Life is short. You'll be happier, more fulfilled and probably go on to do better things with your life
● Don't vote Conservative
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Farage and his army of imbeciles making our country look like fools to the very end. Fuck off you imbecile and take your empty headed tin pot nationalists with you.
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Journalists like Toby Young, who deny the seriousness of this pandemic and who know sweet FA about science and virology, should not be invited onto newsnight. End. Of.
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Matt Hancock talking up his chances of being PM, very much reminding me of the time I announced to my primary school class that when I grew up I was going to be Luke Skywalker.
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Boris Johnson - father of an indeterminate number of children - doesn't know the words to "the wheels on the bus." His John Redwood moment
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Still, very well done Sajid Javid for demonstrating that someone COULD indeed be a worse Health Secretary than Matt Hancock
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I just want to live in a country where there's fuel in the pumps, food on the shelves and the opportunity to go abroad easily if I feel like it. Apparently that makes me a traitor or something.
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Britain is not being invaded. People coming here in boats are not going to harm you, take your jobs, displace you, attack you or affect you in any way, shape or form. Stop being gullible. Stop listening to people who want to whip you into hate. They have no fucking answers at all
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The Rwandan one way ticket scheme is rooted in the fundamentally racist notion that all black people are "the same" and can simply "get sent back" to Africa. The Tories are no longer in UKIP territory. This is 1970s National Front stuff.
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Wondering if this footage of a cracker in my kitchen can achieve higher viewing figures than
#GBNews
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Absolutely nuts isn't it. The UK-NZ trade deal benefits New Zealand but the UK government's own figures show it will actually shrink the UK economy. And still our government heralds it as a triumph and still there are millions who fall for it.
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Zac Goldsmith. Evidence you can be born to a billionaire, go to Eton and Oxford, become an MP on the back of no discernible talent, fail to get elected Mayor, lose your seat twice and yet still rise above it all to be made a Peer by an old family friend. Such a heartwarming story
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As long as public school educated, middle aged, white millionaire ex politicians believe they can explain "home truths" to black people - there's a fucking problem.
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Hope your prosecco didn't go flat in the 2 minutes you popped outside
Thank you to those wonderful people who care for all of us when we need it the most. Tonight, we clapped for all of you.
#ThankYouNHS
#ClapForCarers
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27 human beings. People's babies. Raised and loved. Invested with dreams and hopes, fears and ambitions. Seeking sanctuary in a country they think will improve their lot. Lost at sea and lost forever. Utterly, utterly tragic.
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Farage is a nobody now. No LBC platform, no political role, no significance beyond his silly pronouncements. His "party" has no MPs or MEPs. Maybe it's time to simply ignore him.
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If you want to vote for this blustering haystack of lies go for it. He's completely fucking useless and will destroy what's left of the UK. A self serving, entitled prick who only made it in life because Daddy had a thick filofax of contacts. As appealing as a bag of sick
#Marr
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France is one of our oldest and most important allies. To snub Macron to garner a few cheap votes off the idiot wing of the Tory membership is idiotic and vile. Truss is vile
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Rachel Johnson not on
@lbc
tonight. By complete coincidence it's the night her brother is hosting a party at Chequers
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Karen I really hate to break this to you but there were immigrants living there. Because you're an immigrant Karen. You're literally an immigrant.
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"What about a bus?"
"We tried the fucking bus. The fucking bus is why we're here."
"How about me making an allusion to something in antiquity - perhaps in latin?"
"Shut it Mogg. Honest to God. Shut the fuck up."
SILENCE
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If only your party had been in power for the last 11 years and been able to do something huh.
Today I visited the Dover Food Bank with Scarlett Smith, where we put together parcels for people this Christmas time. Scarlett also handed in donations of food and toys for Christmas that she has been collecting.
I was so impressed with the vital work of the Dover Food Bank
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Brexit failure is not down to "Remoaners", or the EU, Barnier, Bob Geldof, people not believing in Britain, Angela Merkel, France, or Guardian readers. No. Brexit failure is down to Brexit. Which is a fundamentally shit idea.
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Can't quite put my finger on it but isn't there something a bit amiss in these joyful pictures of the Mayor of Dartford.... opening a food bank
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The tragedy of the culture wars and the male midlife crisis in three images.
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@Nigel_Farage
You could have written: "I condemn Putin's invasion of sovereign Ukraine. His forces should leave immediately."
But you didn't
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It's not just Jeremy Clarkson at fault. It's the Sun newspaper, the Sun Editorial team, the climate of hate, the legitimising of it all by right wing media and some really dreadful human beings thinking this shit is ok. Blame Clarkson yes, but do not let the rest off the hook.
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An absolute classic of the "quick for fucks sake delete it" genre.
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Welcome to Brexit Britain, where a government headed by a chap who tried to secure his aristocratic mistress a £100,000 taxpayer funded job, is telling people on low incomes that a rise in their salaries is too much to take.
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Suella Braverman's father came to the UK from Kenya seeking refuge, after being forced out in the 1960s.
This country gave him and his family the opportunity to live here and flourish. The right thing to do.
His daughter wants to deport modern refugees to Rwanda
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We - like millions - obeyed the rules last Christmas. It was tough. My sister was up the road, my mum had just died, we all wanted to meet up. But we stuck to the rules - for the benefit of all. Then again... we're the little people aren't we.
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Tom Harwood of Guido Fawkes all over the media today defending Dominic Cummings. Here he is in May insisting Ferguson should go for a much lesser offence.
It staggers me that the BBC keep inviting this political activist for hire on and pretend he's a journalist
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To Everyone who wrote gushing columns, who said "Boris" would be fun, who pampered his ego, shored up his image, made him respectable, dismissed his lies, ignored his failings, voted for him, backed him, talked him up as a great PM, all this shit - all of it - is on you.
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Vote Leave fined a further £40,000 for breaking electoral law.
Cheat in any sport and you get a ban.
Cheat on your tax return and you end up in prison.
Cheat in the most important vote in modern British history and you still get to drive the country off a cliff.
The Information Commissioner's Office has fined 'Vote Leave' £40,000 after an investigation found it sent more than 196,000 text messages promoting the aims of the campaign ahead of the 2016 EU referendum and was unable to provide evidence recipients had given their consent
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Noel Gallagher - who told Remainers to "f*cking get over" Brexit or "move to North Korea" if they didn't like it - applied for Irish citizenship after UK voted to leave the EU in 2016
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I see happy, wonderful kids. If you see anything else in such a joyous photo, then there's a festering morass of hatred where your soul should be.
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The deportation flights to Rwanda are the nasty, racist actions of a nasty, racist government put in place to satisfy nasty racist populists and their nasty racist followers. However you spin it that's all it is and it diminishes us all.
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Why is Farage still a thing? He's been wrong about quite literally everything
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Yes - much better to stick to non violent names like Waterloo
I don’t think it’s wise for the Mayor of London to name an overground line in honour of a group who sought political change through violence.
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If you're trolling a newborn baby you should probably switch your internet off and a have a deep breath of air and a hard think about your life choices. Lilibet is a gorgeous name. I hope she grows up to have a long, happy, healthy life.
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Ann Widdecombe once called my mother a communist because Mum held her to account at a hustings for speaking so rudely about refugees. Mum was actually the chair of the local Tory branch so that tells you everything about ridiculous Widdecombe.
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Windsor castle built by Norman duke
Mini designed by Greek Alec Issigonis
Shard designed by Italian Renzo Piano
Loch Ness monster - fictional like sovereignty
Alton Towers Smiler built by Gerstlauer a German firm
The Sun newspaper owned by Australian born American Rupert Murdoch
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2016 - if we leave the EU there will be food shortages... after all we import half our food...
Brexiters - PROJECT FEAR
2023 - New Cross Sainsbury's
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No Liz, you were brought down by your incompetence, your lack of leadership, your tanking of the economy, your faith in Tufton Street think tanks and the fact that you were just really, really shit at the job.
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William and Kate have 50 members of staff, including hair stylists and a full-time nanny. I'm very sorry that Kate has had to have surgery - but let's take a reality check here.
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I don't think the lack of clapping is disrespect for Sir Tom in the slightest - more unease and cynicism re the motives of the PM who got behind it.
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The Tories have been promising to fix Broken Britain ever since they came to power 11 years ago. But here's the thing - when they came to power, this country was less divided, more respected and functioning far, far better than it is now.
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