ODDSbible
@ODDSbible
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BREAKING: Graham Potter has been sacked by Chelsea
Sorry, just practicing for December
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After winning nothing at Everton, Richarlison has decided to continue winning nothing at Tottenham
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“That’s what Germany deserve after my goal didn’t count back in 2010 haha but no seriously, safe flight back lads.”
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“Nobody can compete with Nottingham Forest. They made the most summer signings in the world. We can’t act like them at Liverpool. It is not possible.”
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When you've taken Everton from 16th in the table when you joined, to 16th in the table with one game to go
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Relegation threatened Tsarsko Selo, from Bulgaria, were awarded a penalty in the last minute 👀
The club owner stormed on to the pitch because he didn't want a certain player taking the penalty 🤯
A different player took the penalty, missed it, and the team were relegated 😂
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The Spanish media constantly berated Gareth Bale for not speaking Spanish whilst at Real Madrid...
He then moves to LAFC and one of his first interviews is of him speaking Spanish 😂
The shithousery levels are off the charts 🔥
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“Most people go to Turkey for hair transplants haha but no seriously, you’re off to Besiktas. Pack your bag.”
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Erling Haaland when Pep overthinks the Champions League final next season by playing Nathan Ake up front
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"Why are Swindon losing to Man City? They have the same 24 hours to train like Man City. They just need to try harder"
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“Bend it like Beckham? More like Bend it like Ward-Prowse haha but no seriously, I am f*cked.”
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This Mbappe, Haaland, Almiron & Garnacho era is going to be insane 🔥
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Erik ten Haag after his final interview for the Man United job
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“Last time I was in the Premier League, I managed a small side with zero Champions League titles. That is no longer the case.”
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Virgil van Dijk has never lost a league game at Anfield for Liverpool…
Erling Haaland arriving on Sunday:
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Burnley’s Wout Weghorst scored a late winner for the Netherlands last night vs Wales ⚽️
His Burnley teammate, Conor Roberts went up to him and said: “Why didn’t you do that for Burnley?” 😂
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The only manager ever to win the Champions League, Europa League and Europa Conference League 🏆
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Yaya Toure watching the African curse on Man City enter the next phase
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"You see Harry Maguire getting arrested in Mykonos for a fight, but you have to ask where Paul Pogba is in all of this, why didn't he break up the fight?"
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Marcus Rashford typing up Lisandro Martinez’s first Man Utd apology tweet
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Liverpool FC statement says doctors have confirmed that Dejan Lovren had concussion whilst he was announcing himself as one of the best defenders in the world
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“Knee sliding and cupping his ears against Albania, really? I’d be fighting him if I was on the pitch.”
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“Steve never won the league though did he haha but no seriously, we’re in another relegation battle”
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What a goal from Cristiano Ronaldo to give Netherlands the lead 👏🔥
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Cesc Fabregas seeing Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang go from Arsenal captain, to Barcelona, to Chelsea
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Bernardo Silva, Jack Grealish and John Stones waking up this morning
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Newcastle offering big contracts to any random Premier League player
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*Man City thinking that they’ve won the Premier League*
Burnley after winning their 21 games in hand:
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Huge relief for City as Haaland finally ends his 60 minute goal drought 🙌
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Jamie Vardy doing the ‘prancing bird’ celebration in front of fans who support a team nicknamed ‘The Eagles’ is peak shithousery 😂😂
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“Leeds are just brilliant, they bomb forward and are just a joy to watch. They only lost 7-0 today but my god, aren’t they great under Bielsa!”
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“I’m not surprised Brazil are out of the World Cup, they wasted all their energy dancing on South Korea”
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This magic trick from former Spain international Joaquin is incredible 🧙♂️ Wait for it... 😂😂
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“I don’t know what’s going on with Liverpool’s defence but it’s not nice”
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Incredible shithousery from Gareth Bale to unveil this flag 👀😂
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Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi when Man United face PSG in the Europa League final this season
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Norwich seeing Fulham in the top 6 instead of the relegation zone
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“I know you’re a centre-back, but I’m gonna play you at right-back as we’ve only got 57 options in that position”
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There’s only one man that wouldn’t put up with all of this added time on…
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Not sure Ed Sheeran could score 91 goals in a calendar year
sports will NEVER be as important as music or any other art. everyone can run and kick balls. a FEW can write and produce songs. being creative and expressing yourselves is something no football player can do successfully and win awards for that
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When you’re deciding what to get in the chippy at 4am after a big night out
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Micah Richards trying to hold in his laugh every time Roy Keane goes on a anti-Man Utd rant 😂
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“Why do you have a photo of yourself on your shin pads? You’re 36?”
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When you get to the 4th season of your FIFA career mode and the game starts generating random transfers
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📆 21st June: Lockdown ends
⚽ 22nd June: England vs Czech Republic
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Amazon’s All or Nothing camera crew filming Aubameyang losing the captaincy
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Norwich and Fulham swapping places in the Premier League and Championship every season
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The Premier League’s apology to Everton should be enough to keep them up this season 👍
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“If Emile Smith Rowe has 26 hours in a day, why aren’t Arsenal in the top 4? He gets an extra two hours”
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That’s 31 years without lifting the Premier League trophy then...
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Fulham getting ready to swap places with Norwich in the Premier League
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Arsenal and Chelsea fans watching Olivier Giroud knock Tottenham out of the Champions League
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“Can you believe Tuchel got sacked before me haha but no seriously, hope Chelsea take me back”
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Man Utd fans when Michael Carrick gets a draw vs Villarreal tomorrow
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✅ 2021/22 - Survival with Everton
✅ 2022/23 - Survival with Chelsea
The great escape specialist 👏🔥
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"He's probably out cheating on me right now”
Me and the boys:
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“Just met Ryan Reynolds! What a frickin’ legend mate, top bloke by the way, loved Deadpool, top top film.”
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Chelsea fans seeing Raphinha, Kounde, Dembele and Lewandowski drop into the Europa League
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