Nigel
@NigelGrinstead
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If you still like the Red Hot Chili Peppers than this joke is too late to save you anyways.
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[watching a stand-up clip on reels] Wow, someone give this guy a self-produced comedy special financed entirely out of his own pocket and posted on his personal youtube channel with 15 subscribers.
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When I die, put my ashes in an urn and then cross-section it in slow motion so it looks delicious.
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Maybe the real spotify wrapped was the friends we made along the way.
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Men truly believe there is no age limit on turning your hat backwards and being cool again.
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Whenever a drummer counts a band into a song I'm like ok so that's the daddy.
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Somewhere between ants and beetles bugs go from being "little guys" to "big fucks".
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The worst part about eating in a restaurant is you can't take your shirt off when it starts to get real.
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Gen Z will never know the pain of doinking your head off a wall, growing a big ol' bruise noodle, and having someone bink a horseshoe onto it.
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Elon Musk going to get some ribs removed so he can Zuck himself off.
Elon Musk says he may need surgery before proposed 'cage match' with Mark Zuckerberg https://t.co/Ox5SK0Xe8O
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TW: Great Investment Strategy If you run out of water you can drink piss and it's the same.
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My brain after I've had a few beers and have the audacity to consume a single shot of liquor.
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Slowly filling my pants in the middle seat at Cirque du Soleil so I don't get up and take someone "out of the moment".
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Favorite online interaction right now is when someone posts AI art and a commenter goes "amazing art!" and they go "thank you."
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My grandma told me I should "just buy a house" and also that she has "heard of" Toberlones.
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🚨 TONIGHT 🚨 Come see Toronto’s best comics at @comedybar bring their A game and Get That on Tape! 🎥 🎞️ April 27th • 8pm @ALVALcomedy
@NigelGrinstead
@jarrettcampbell
@stephbabyneale
@metalcomedy 🎟️: https://t.co/WcHsc5geSG
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What do you mean "oversharing" I haven't even got to the worst part
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