Nicola Jane Swinney
@NicolaJSwinney
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Author, journalist, reader, wine lover, troll poker. Cats, shoes, books, arguing with strangers and truly execrable jokes. No I won't turn on your notifications
Beyond my means.
Joined July 2009
I am chuffed beyond measure with my new dog book. The words are brilliant, obvs (just kidding), but the illustrations are nothing short of genius. #amwriting #dogsoftwitter
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Boris was a shining paragon of truth and accountability compared with this charlatan.
Keir Starmer lied about the cost of the Chagos deal. Starmer accused Boris of lying every week but here he is, lying almost every day.
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And poor old Boris didn’t even eat the cake. Starmer is a farmer harmer but he’s not stopping there. The fact that he’s still somehow in office harms us all - we are becoming a laughing stock.
How is it #KeirStarmer can have all these coverups and rentboy stories, cost us Billions giving away the Chagos Islands, destroy the farming industry freeze pensioners and all the other rancid shit he's been doing and still have a job?. What did Boris do again that forced him to
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This. FFS.
I still can't get my head around the sheer lengths Keir Starmer went to so he could deceive parliament and the public about the true cost of the Chagos surrender deal. He instructed civil servants to lower the £35 billion cost on paper to £10bn, manipulated the accounts further,
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This guy asked me if I’d like to pet his cocker spaniel. It got terribly awkward. I wish I’d chosen the spaniel… 😳.
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Keir Starmer is an embarrassment. We in the UK knew he was shape-shifting snake-oil salesman in opposition. On 5 July 2024 we feared he was incompetent. Now the whole world realises just how useless he and his comedy cabinet - even without those who’ve had to resign - really are.
So Israel is expected to surrender to Hamas & feed them even though Israeli hostages are being starved? Did UK surrender to Nazis and drop food to them? Ever heard of Dresden, PM Starmer? That wasn’t food you dropped. If you had been PM then UK would be speaking German!.
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Now that our Foreign Secretary has hosted US veep JD Vance for spot of carp fishing, shall we in future call David Lammy The Master Baiter?.
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A poll finds that nearly nine in 10 Britons don’t like Prince Andrew. This means that more than one in 10 Britons DO like him. WTAF?.
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Police are looking for a man who stabbed six people with knitting needles. They fear he may be following some sort of pattern. .
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King Charles visits a hospital and a patient shouts: “Oh wad some power the giftie gie us/To see oursel's as others see us!". The King asks, "Is this the mental health wing?". "No," says the hospital spokesman. "It's the serious Burns unit.".
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So @JustStop_Oil @ExtinctionR and @InsulateLove have proved to us all that they don’t give a shit about climate and the planet, they’re just rent-a-mob, by joining forces with a banned terror group. This comes as no surprise. They’ve lost what tiny shred of credibility they had.
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My favourite clothes horse broke. It was the end of an airer.
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If looks could kill….
This is the famous clip where mother Markle had the sheer audacity to interrupt #MeghanMarkle at the cookbook launch for the victims of the Grenfell Tower Fire-it is absolutely fascinating to watch. Markle is holding court, orating to her captive audience-when Doria senses a
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RT @Con_Tomlinson: Keir Starmer thought it was a good idea to approve Peter Kyle's attack on Nigel Farage as on the same side of Jimmy Savi….
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I bought a Womble bean-to-cup coffee machine, but it's rubbish. Everything is either underground or overground.
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The inventor of the anagram has died. May he erect a penis.
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RT @ArchRose90: A weak Keir Starmer has told his Cabinet that the UK will recognise “Palestine” as a state in September. He’s not a leader….
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Having said he WON’T recognise it as a state. How many more u-turns can Starmer the Farmer Harmer make before he’s thrown out of office? 😡.
🚨BREAKING: Keir Starmer has just announced the UK will recognise Palestine as a state in September. Absolute disgrace. The Labour Party are rewarding Hamas for their horrific terrorist attack on October 7th. I'm so ashamed of this country.
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This.
Slippery Starmer & the UK Labour government are now censoring news coverage of the migrant hotel uprising, including my reports. It’s truly authoritarian & we must fight this madness. Do NOT be gaslit by a regime that uses Jimmy Savile slurs to take away our free speech forever.
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And in terms of renewable energy, they are inefficient. They are also non-recyclable, which has a certain irony….
“The Turbine killed this Bird”. Wind Turbines aren’t environmentally friendly, they’re inefficient, expensive, ugly & completely unreliable. They also kill marine life, wildlife & birds. Trump is right.
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