NHL Insider Max Pacioretty 🌸 💭
@NHLlnsider67
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NHL Insider | Not actually Max Pacioretty | Jarred Tinordi hate account | You block/ratio me, you agree with me | 11x Stanley Cup Champion | PARODY |
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Pinned Tweet
Brief summary of the 2022 NHL Draft
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Just letting it be known that "50 in 50" means "50 goals in your team's first 50 games", not "50 goals in a random 50 game stretch"
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@abdethakur
@Breaking911
Cristiano Ronaldo tells Benjamin Mendy and Mason Greenwood to stop abusing women
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When your son is on the naughty list
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A little bit later, Ian Cole went inside Abby Labar
Inside A Hurricane
@abbylabar_
speaks with Ian Cole about his career journey, and what brought him to Carolina.
@Canes
|
#LetsGoCanes
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Joel Edmundson and the ghosts of Canadiens past
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Nick Suzuki (3) has the same amount of playoff series wins as Auston Matthews (1), Mitch Marner (1), and William Nylander (1) combined 😂😂😂
How we feeling Leafs fans??? 👀
Auston Matthews (51) has the same amount of goals as Nick Suzuki (20), Cole Caufield (19) & Juraj Slafkovsky (12) combined 😂😂😂
How we feeling Habs fans??? 👀
#LeafsForever
#Leafs
#Toronto
#Montreal
#Canadiens
#Habs
#GoHabsGo
#NHL
#Hockey
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Seasons in the Western Conference
Montreal: 0
Toronto: 17
Clarence S Campbell Bowls won
Montreal: 1
Toronto: 0
I’m sorry have your guys won anything? Or are you just living in the nhl basement?
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Most beautiful hit in hockey history
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Turns out Taylor Swift is not only a HUGE HABS FAN but a HUGE JURAJ SLAFKOVSKÝ FAN as well‼️
Calling all Swifties, vote your favorite NHL player to the All Star Game NOW by tweeting “
#NHLAllStarVote
Juraj Slafkovský”‼️
@TaylorSwift
#TaylorSwift
#NHLAllStarVote
Juraj Slafkovský
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I still can't believe they gave a penalty shot after Mike Hoffman played defense for possibly the first time in his career
GAME TURNING POINT! STILL can NOT Believe Refs called penalty shot on Mike Hoffman's perfectly executed back-check. What message is Bettman sending kids who strive on playing the game an honest way. Sad state of affairs! Do Hockey a favor & STEP DOWN Gary!
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Kinda crazy how Alex Trebek dropped a bombshell back in 2020 and no one listened to him.
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Jesperi Kotkaniemi: 54 GP, 11G, 12A, 23P
Rem Pitlick: 41 GP, 11G, 13A, 24P
So does Pitlick get an 8 year contract too?
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Goals since the All Star Break
Auston Matthews: 0
Juraj Slafkovský: 2
Leafs fans told me Slafkovský was a “bust”
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Happy Leafs elimination day to all who celebrate!
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Tim Stützle is listed as OUT for tomorrow night’s game due to precautionary reasons (scared of Xhekaj)
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Goals this season
Tim Stützle: 7
Alex Newhook: 7
Alex Newhook has been injured since November 30th
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Happy 4 year anniversary to the worst thing ever tweeted
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Jesperi Kotkaniemi in his last 22 games
— 1 goal
— 2 assists
— 3 points
Carolina’s got a good one 🔥🔥🔥
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Bro just admitted his own team’s fans can’t fill an arena lmao
"Seeing a lot of Montreal fans leave was great."
Tim Stützle was on one tonight. 7 points in his past 3 games.
#GoSensGo
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Slafkovský has as many goals tonight as Shane Wright has this season
Juraj Slafkovsky has 2 goals in his last 14 NHL games.
Shane Wright has 4 goals in his last 14 NHL games.
#SeaKraken
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THE HABS GOT MORE FROM FLORIDA FOR BEN CHIAROT THAN OTTAWA GOT FOR FUCKING TARASENKO LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Henri Richard had more Stanley Cups as a player than this “Mount Rushmore” combined
I’m sorry but no team in the NHL has a better Mount Rushmore of Legends then the Pittsburgh Penguins.
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Most dangerous players in hockey history
5. Cole Caufield vs Philadelphia
4. Josh Anderson on a hot streak
3. Joel Armia once every 20 games
2. Juraj Slafkovský vs Kazakhstan
1. Player with 0 career NHL goals vs the Canadiens
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Goals this season
Tim Stützle: 8
Joel Armia: 8
I was told one was an “elite talent”
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🚨🚨🚨🚨 🚨
🚨 🚨
🚨🚨🚨🚨 🚨🚨 🚨
🚨 🚨
🚨🚨🚨🚨 🚨
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Goals this season
Tim Stützle: 11
Juraj Slafkovský: 11
Sens fans told me Slafkovský was a “bust”
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Number of Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Hart Trophy: 3
Number of Montreal Canadiens GOALIES to win the Hart Trophy: 3
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Goals this season
Tim Stützle: 7
Joël Armia: 7
I was told one was an “elite talent”
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MTL gets:
Patrik Laine, Jack Hughes, 2nd overall, 6th overall, 12th overall
NJ gets: Josh Anderson
CBJ gets: Joel Armia
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Ladies and gentlemen, the first goal scorer of pride month.
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Please dear God I’m just asking for 1 thing
Deep NHL insider: "Sid's not gonna like it if Guentz is gone."
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Toronto really blew a 3-1 series lead to the last place team in the NHL LMFAOOOOOO
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It’s kind of insane that I’ve seen more total solar eclipses in my lifetime than Toronto Maple Leafs Stanley Cup wins
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The Montreal Canadiens remain the only team to win the Stanley Cup in a season where they got 120+ points
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Habs would’ve fucking destroyed the Islanders LMFAOOO
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Wow there’s no way Stützle dove, that’s so unlike him
Juuse Saros was called for a tripping penalty after this save on Tim Stützle.
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NHL Players with 4+ goals in the month of February
— Alex Ovechkin
— Nick Suzuki
— Juraj Slafkovský
Habs got some good ones 🔥
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New logo for that other team in Ontario
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JURAJ SLAFKOVSKÝ HAS THE LONGEST ACTIVE POINT STREAK IN THE NHL
Nathan MacKinnon's 35-game home point streak and 19-game overall point streak have come to an end.
What an unreal stretch 👏
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I take Shane Wright over Slafkovský in a redraft
Look between H and L on your keyboard 👀
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One of these teams is not like the others
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NHL players with at least 40 games played, 39 blocks, 61 shots, 38 hits, 11 assists, 2 powerplay goals, and under 26 PIMs this season:
— Auston Matthews
— Juraj Slafkovský
Habs got a good one!
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Kotkaniemi doing what he does best
This was Shea’s last goal with the Habs.
Always going to remember that night.
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Tkachuk trade:
Winners:
Calgary Flames
Montreal Canadiens
Losers:
Florida Panthers
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Hearing that Johnny Gaudreau will sign a 7x$750k with the Montreal Canadiens
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Kotkaniemi needs 40 points in the next 2 games to hit 65 points
Looking unlikely imo
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Leafs would've won last night if they got Ben Chiarot at the deadline
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Keep your head up bud
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BREAKING NEWS: Alex DeBrincat wants out of Calgary. When told he wasn’t in Calgary, he thanked God.
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Juraj Slafkovský’s season summarized
What we can take from this graph is that:
a) Juraj Slafkovský is really good at hockey
and
b) Josh Anderson is fucking horrible at hockey, AND he makes his linemates worse
Credit to
@the_habitant
for the original Slaf graph
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BREAKING: Andrew Tate has been HIRED by Hockey Canada following his recent allegations and comments towards women.
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Wow, can’t believe it’s been 6 years since this fucking disaster
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Goals tonight
Juraj Slafkovský: 1
Auston Matthews: 0
Is Juraj Slafkovský the best 1st overall pick by a Canadian team in the Atlantic division?
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Yeah because that worked out so well for the Leafs last year
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NHL players with at least 44 shots on goal, 1 powerplay goal, 47 hits, 27 blocks, 8 takeaways, under 15 giveaways and under 25 PIMs
- Moritz Seider
- Juraj Slafkovský
Habs got a good one
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@GoldenKnights
Well at least you didn’t trade Tomas Tatar, Nick Suzuki, and a 2nd round pick to get Pacioretty in the first place...
OH WAIT LMFAOOOOOOOO
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I think I figured out why I hate Dvorsky
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If the habs take Slafraudsky, I encourage everyone to spam this under all their tweets
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The streets will never forget the 2021 NHL playoffs
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No team could ever post a video of sens fans leaving because they don’t have any
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FULL 3 TEAM TRADE DETAILS
SJ gets:
David Savard
NJ gets:
Josh Anderson
MTL gets
Timo Meier
Alexander Holtz
Dawson Mercer
Luke Hughes
Jack Hughes
Nico Hischier
Jesper Bratt
2023 1st round pick (NJ)
2023 1st round pick (SJ)
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The Habs winning the cup and getting Bedard with Florida’s pick would be the funniest thing to ever happen in hockey history
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@lucsssx
@nocontextfooty
Portugal?! What the fuck have Portugal won? The “Eusebio scored a hat trick vs North Korea” Cup?
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Notice how Matthews wasn’t one of them
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Crazy how the Leafs picked team Canada’s worst captain ever over Lane Hutson
Very Knies
To think he was picked 57th overall and better than a first overall pick that we won’t name
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Wow today must be a great day to be a Leafs fan. 5-0 without Rielly, Matthews hit 50, Leafs solidly in a playoff spot…
Surely they didn’t do anything stupid 4 years ago today to distract from all of that, right?
Anyway here’s a picture of David Ayres for no reason whatsoever.
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Penguins are on the PP, Crosby, Malkin, and Letang are all open...
Jeff Petry:
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Ah yes, the classic “take my garbage for your best players” trade
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Abby Labar slept with as many Hurricanes players (2) as Kotkaniemi got points in the playoffs (2)
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Not the first time I’ve seen Kotkaniemi fall off
Hey
@Fanatics
my wife has only worn this jersey between 5-8 times and the name on the back is already ripping off. It hasn’t even been through the washer.
Cc:
@FanaticsSucks
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Cole Caufield has more Molson Cups than Auston Matthews
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Slafkovský-Celebrini-Stamkos
Caufield-Suzuki-Dach
Armia-Newhook-Roy
Who’s stopping this top 9?
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Just woke up from a coma, did they hold the lead?
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Y’all aren’t ready for the Kirby Dach 70 point season
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If Pierre-Luc Dubois’ name was “Peter-Luke Wood” there wouldn’t be a single human being on the planet who’d think he’d be worth the 1st overall pick.
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@ArashMemarzadeh
@NHL
Kadri has been suspended for 8 games, New Jersey has to forfeit a 1st, and Montreal has their goal disallowed.
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NHL players with at least 25 points, 13 blocks, 16 hits, 15 takeaways, under 23 giveaways, under 9 PIMs, and over 19 mins of TOI/GP:
- Auston Matthews
- Elias Pettersson
- Nick Suzuki
Habs have their 1C for a LOOOOOONG TIME
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