COUNT VON COUNT: What is a ghost's favorite dessert? ELMO: Gee, Elmo doesn't know, Mr. Count. What is a ghost's favorite dessert? GHOST: Booooooooo-berry pie!

STATLER: Ohh! That number scared the pants off me. WALDORF: Are you sure you didn't just forget to put 'em on again?

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KERMIT: Uh-oh, it must be time for the ghost story. Is anybody else around? Uh, Bean, is that you? I hate this part.

GAFFER: Meow... #TheMuppets70 #Muppets70Mondays

"...Paul [Williams] and I decided that not every song can be a snappy two-step number. This was a chance to do a modern-day Disney type of thing, with a waltz, and a snappy two-step number, and music of different styles..." Happy Birthday, Kenneth Ascher!

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CLIFFORD: Rick is known and loved for his family films, like Parenthood and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. DR. PHIL VAN NEUTER: Oh, and don't forget Little Shop of Horrors! CLIFFORD: That's not a family film. You don't know your movies! DR PHIL VAN NEUTER: YOU don't know my family!

FOZZIE BEAR: Hey. This is cute. What does it do? DR. JULIUS STRANGEPORK: My work here is nothing less than... the secret of life itself. FOZZIE BEAR: Wow. DR. JULIUS STRANGEPORK: And also a coffee that doesn't taste bitter.

STATLER: Vincent Price is the most wonderfully scary actor since Thudge McGerk. WALDORF: Heh! Thudge McGerk, I'll never forget him, His last film was Phantom of the Soap Opera.

GOBO: ♫ Times I'm in the night Can't locate the light How I wish I knew the right design Music in the air Making brightness there Learn to sing the golden sun to shine ♫ Happy Diwali, Muppet fans!

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BIG MEAN CARL: I'm gonna tell Alphonso's future! I sense that you're a Virgo who will be eaten whole. ALPHONSO D'ABRUZZO: I find that hard to swallow. BIG MEAN CARL: I don't! #TheMuppets70 #Muppets70Mondays

FOZZIE BEAR: Hey! I once met a vampire who was so rich, he lived in a split-level coffin.

KERMIT: Let the scariness begin.

STATLER: Hmm, I'd give that movie four stars. WALDORF: And why is that? STATLER: Because the two that are in it now stink!

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DR. TEETH: This is a narrative of very heavy-duty proportions.

LIPS: And dat conclude my TED Talk. #TheMuppets70 #Muppets70Mondays

BOY: No matter what you saw on TV, with all those "ughs" and "me want-ums," I'm telling you Indians don't talk like that. CHILDREN: Oh yeah? Well, how do you know? BOY: I'm an Indian. Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day, Muppet fans!

KERMIT: Hey, Sam. That's a nice song. What is that? SAM THE EAGLE: Oh. I don't know. Something called "Fred's Song". KERMIT: Hmm. That's very pretty. SAM THE EAGLE: No, it's not.

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"Big Bird could be a dinosaur if all dinosaurs were six years old and yellow." Happy Birthday, Artie Esposito!

STATLER: You think the lobsters would share some of their popcorn with us? WALDORF: No chance, they're too shellfish!

KERMIT: Please, please, uh … we are digressing, we are digressing. Can we at last get back to the issue? And the issue is life. HARVEY KORMAN: Oh, I have the last issue of Life. MUPPETS: What? KORMAN: Yeah, before they stopped publishing. Could be worth a pretty penny.