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@Muchirijohnn

Followers
2K
Following
147
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Statuses
8K

Freelance Survivor • M-Pesa Balance Consultant • Mhenga wa Nairobi Streets • Usilale njaa juu ya mwanamke • Timing na Grace tu • Khabusie! 😭

Nairobi, Kenya
Joined November 2023
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
5 hours
Ngai fathaaa, nyinyi mnakaa kama wale wanauliza 'kura ni nini?' halafu mnaenda ku complain daily group chat 'hii serikali imetuharibia maisha' Leo enda IEBC app au office, jiandikishe kama mtu mzima! Unapata ID yako, unapata power yako, unapata sauti yako . Nguî icí
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
2 days
Na vijana msilose focus hii game ni ngumu lakini si impossible. Wengine wako busy kucompare lives zao na Instagram filters, nyinyi mko busy ku-build legacy. Simama solid, shika kazi, block noise. Hii street haikupi second chances bure. Focus au focus tu
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
5 days
Bro ako na 32 years bado analipa rent ya bed6 halafu anasema 'life iko poa tu ukiwa single Single ya nini Single ya kuosha sufuria peke yako na kuishi na panya roommate Hii ni single au punishment? Msee grow up pata mtu au angalau upgrade hiyo kejaStop romanticizing suffering
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
5 days
Na vijana wengi wako rooftop juu ya pressure ya maisha. Degree iko shelf, job haiko, rent inasonga... lakini kujiua si solution. Usikate comeback story yako kabisa. Jishikilie, sema nimechoka kwa mtu. Hii storm itapita. You're not alone bana .
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
11 days
My landlord Njoroge just sent me Good morning at 6:47am like we’re dating. Mimi niko hapa bado na hangover ya jana na ananiuliza kama nimeamka poa. Bro si uambie salary yangu iamke na same energy? Inafika 25 iko usingizi mzito kama mzee wa pipeline. Hii ni maisha gani ?
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
11 days
Nairobi floods tena. Wale wa Nissan Juke wako juu ya maji wakicheki kama ducks, sisi wengine tunapiga mbio na simu juu ya kichwa kama refugees. @SakajaJohnson ako wapi? Au ameenda kuoga kwa swimming pool yake ya State House? Umbwa wewe bwana 🌊🐸 #NairobiSeaBD
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
11 days
Niliona tweet ya msee akisema 'Manifest 10k today' Nika-manifest 10 bob tu ikaingia M-Pesa notification Sasa nimeamua leo ni siku ya ku-manifest mandazi mbili badala ya pesa #BrokeManifesting
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
12 days
Bro nimeamka asubuhi nikaona notifications ziko full, madame wengi wananifuatilia. Mimi nikauliza mungu Bwana ni nini hii neema? Halafu nikaingia m-pesa nikaona balance 320 bob tu. Neema gani hiyo? Hii ni neema ya kuishi kama hamster kwa wheel inazunguka tu lakini haifiki popote.
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
17 days
Buana life in Nai ni kama kucheza bao na fate – unapiga bao poa, inarudi haraka kukuambia 'sio yako'. Vijana stop flexing kwa vitu hamna, hiyo Instagram lifestyle inakula nyinyi polepole. Invest that coin au mtaishi ku-copy paste hadi pension. Kasiaa nyinyi !!
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
19 days
Bro, usianze date na dem akikuambia 'mimi ni foodie. Hiyo ni red flag ya 'nitakula bill yako kama dessert Ukienda date ya kwanza, anachukua pics za chakula kama ni album ya wedding halafu story 'date night' na caption 'spoiled by my man wakati wewe bado unadandia lorry za simiti.
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
19 days
Saa hii life imenifundisha kitu moja ukiona mtu ametulia sana ujue hana fare ya kurudi home Niko hapo stage nangoja matatu mfuko iko light kama signal ya Safaricom Conductor anapiga Tao! Tao! Mwisho! na mimi najifanya niko busy na simu, kumbe data imeisha tangu last week
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
23 days
Na wasichana nyinyi ni watu bladifukin sana walubengo anataka emotionally available man lakini akiona good morning text saa kumi na moja anasema, why are you so clingy,
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
27 days
Hii mvua imeamua kutest bachelors vibaya sana Saa hii unajifunika blanketi mpaka kichwa, umejikunja kama mkono ya @Bookten kwa mfuko na hii jamaa hutest aje kama Bermuda ni kudeep ? Ama inatumia miguu kama Vandame.
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
28 days
Juzi tumekaa na boys story ni marriage. Mmoja anasema siwezi oa sasa, bado najipanga. Nikamuuliza unapanga nini exactly? Anasema mindset. Lakini huyo huyo akiskia rent imepanda anarudi home “kidogo tu nijiregroup. Mindset iko ready… maisha ndio haijaconnect vijana musioe
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
28 days
Sometimes I talk to my phone like it’s my teammate. I say: Bro, lemme see you hold 2% battery and still stay alive until 6pm. Phone replies nothing… but I know it’s judging me.
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@nbirech3
Leilla 💛
28 days
Say Hello,We only follow active here😘❤️‍🩹
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
5 months
Kuna mzee pale tiktok anajiita Patrick Mbacio anakula msurii sana nakwambia apana gocheza . The Patrick the truth
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@Muchirijohnn
Mello
8 months
"Those who votes decide nothing,those who counts the vote decides everything "
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