"How do I get my partner to be more dominant?" If you are a submissive who is struggling to submit because your partner has become apathetic, low energy, or prefers to remain inert, I believe you can get them to lead more by submitting more. What does that mean, and how? 🧵

A silly little not-so-silly thought jumped into my head at 2am a few days ago. A tiny glimpse into my hopeful future. Maybe you've heard the expression "DINK" - dual income no kids? I'm going for THINK - three incomes, no kids. In this economy? THINK about it.

I used to think the point of a dynamic was to get everything I want. It turns out, the point of a dynamic is to make it more frictionless to negotiate getting both people everything you both want, using each of your strengths optimally to reach your shared goals.

The biggest fear of every submissive, I think, is that by making your world smaller to orbit around your Dom, you worry you will make yourself too vulnerable to be able to face everything alone again and survive on your own, while he only gets more powerful and more in control.

Power exchange is about you as the submissive needing to feel small so you feel whole. The relief of not having to control everything on Earth, and instead merely exist in the tiny little microcosm of life we build around you, giving everything big to me to control for you.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. An entire day dedicated to gratitude, and connection with family and friends, with none of the typical holiday commercialization. Gratitude is the secret to a happy life. I am grateful to anyone who reads this, for your time. Thank you.

Serving others is exactly what creates joy and satisfaction in a healthy submissive (and a healthy Dom!), and fills a need that can't be filled any other way. "Making it about me" is the modern push, but it's not fulfilling for most people. We need to serve each other.

If you want a sustainable, life affirming relationship that isn't just a transactional exchange of food, rent, and daily necessities in exchange for sex (h/t @Book_Wurm_Nerd), it's up to YOU to consciously and deliberately build that dynamic—however you want it to function.

The more gently, humbly, frictionlessly, admiringly, gratefully, and respectfully you submit, the more gently and lovingly I can lead you. If you want a gentle hand leading you—with no friction in your life—you must first bow to your chosen authority. Submission comes first.

I'm sure this is an ancient complaint but can we get rid of the term "settle down"? Why is it settling? Why is it down? "Commit up" maybe? Or better yet, "commit to serve"?

While many submissives have had bad experiences, I think what holds just as many back from the dynamic of your dreams is defensive "hyper independence". In a healthy dynamic it isn't scary to rely on someone else because they are a powerful Dom who only wants the best for you.

The opposite of submissive is not dominant, it's defensive. Submission is frictionless—following your Dom's lead, rules, and commands. When you are defensive, you create friction and stop yourself from submitting, which stops your Dom from leading. Trust, follow, obey.

Over the last few weeks @happyslavegirl and I have been working through our written D/s contract, that is now over two years old, re-writing it from the ground up to more effectively, simply, clearly, and accurately reflect how we now want our evolving dynamic and our home to

Love does not keep a relationship together. Commitment keeps you together, but perhaps unhappily. Appreciation keeps things feeling good, but perhaps only temporarily. No, it's committing to appreciate each other that keeps a relationship strong, healthy, and growing for years.

It can't be overstated how important it is for you each to follow your agreed on roles. If your agreed on role is to obey and you agree to the terms of your agreement, it is your frictionless obedience that will keep you both happy and moving in the right direction.

A cohesive, frictionless dynamic doesn't just make bedroom time fun, it makes home feel like a vacation every day. Two (or more) people working together to keep our home just the way I want it, so that everyone feels so safe and cozy and comfortable that it's hard to leave.

Here's the truth. It takes gonads of steel to honestly reveal to someone you're hoping to enter into a relationship with all the reasons why you think it might not work out, all your vulnerabilities that they could use to harm you, and still go for it hoping for the best.

This one is a little hard to articulate, but it's very important to understand the word "consent" by itself is incomplete. The concept of consent as applied in a dynamic is actually "fully informed consent", which implies consent is not really achieved until and unless you're

This is why I harp on frictionless obedience. Just do the thing—without all the overthinking—and enjoy your success as a submissive and the rewards of approval from your Dom instead of whipping yourself for all your doubt, guilt, shame, and perceived failures. Just... submit.

Your lack of self confidence creates internal resistance that expresses itself externally as friction in a dynamic. Obeying causes a chain reaction that improves self confidence—not just by overriding your resistance and taking the focus off you, but by proving you can succeed.

Just a reminder, if your account is 'protected' or private on here, I can't see any of your likes on what I write, so if there's something you read that particularly resonates with you, I'd sure enjoy you reaching out and starting a conversation with me about it.