Sarah Simons
@MsSarahSimons
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Expert-level messy bitch. 💅 Middle aged fat lass. Proud LGBTQ ally. Internet mum to anyone who wants one. Writer, speaker, teacher, student.
Nottingham. Brighton. London.
Joined July 2011
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Happy 18th birthday to our lovely son.
Your dad & I are so proud of what a kind, caring, funny, brave, hard-working person you are. We’re v lucky & we love you so much.
I know I said I wouldn’t post a baby pic but: 2wks late, 3 days of labour,
emergency C-section.
So shove it!😀
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That's it. My boy's moved out.
You know your best mate truly 'gets you' when she sends gorgeous flowers and ends her beautifully written, heartfelt note with 'So cheer up you miserable old xxxx' (except she wrote the word). I laughed so much that coffee came out of my nose. ❤️
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My son is leaving home this week. Trying to keep my shit together but keep bursting into tears.
I’m super proud of what a kind and capable person he is, and really excited for him to start his new life. But bloody hell, I’ll miss that ridiculous, loud, wonderful kid. 💔
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Deepest sympathy to Alex’s family, friends and fans.
He was an important part of so many lives, making a hugely powerful and positive impact on the world.
I am so sorry for this devastating loss and send you all so much love.
Big hugs.
#riptechnoblade
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This day 18 years ago.
Already 10 days past my due date. 😮
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Blue sky in Brighton. Safe travels to anyone coming to see Tom’s show tonight. I will be available for big hugs for anyone who wants or needs one. ❤️
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Yes. Yes they do.
Nice hoodie though.
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Thanks to those who've sent messages about my boy.❤️
We're in contact with him every day. He's v capable & has lots of lovely pals there. But he knows if he needs us we'll be in the car & on the motorway straight away. He's daft & chaotic but v resourceful so I'm not worried. 😊
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We probs shouldn't have watched Finding Nemo this wkend.
It's a special family film for us. My husb & I were watching it at the cinema in 2003 when I was pregnant & I felt our baby kick for the first time. And now he's leaving home.😭
Soz. I'm getting on my own chuffin nerves now
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This makes me so happy.
My super talented son-in-law being so cool and how lovely is
@billzo_
‘s totally joyful reaction.
I love these boys. ❤️
TUBBO LIFE BY THE SEA FULL REMIX PART FOR THOSE WHO WAS TOO UNLUCKY TO MISS
WOOOOOOOOO \o/
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Hey pals! I get lots of DMs asking for advice. I can't give personal guidance - I'm not qualified to do so & it'd be awful if I got it wrong.
But it'd be fab if you could give yr thoughts as a community.
A regular topic is young LGBTQ people coming out to parents.Any advice? 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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I've changed my description stuff!
I get loads of messages from lovely ppl asking if I'll be their 'internet mum'.
I'd be honoured to be internet mum to anyone who wants or needs one. I don't really know what that means yet, but I ❤️ our community & want to support however I can.
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I am 6 years sober today.
One day at a time innit, but very proud of myself to have come so far.
So grateful for the love & support of my husband, son & close pals. ❤️
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Oy.
@tommyinnit
.
Too far.
Stop showing off for likes and clout.
Listen to your friend Jack.
He is better than you.
@tommyinnit
@MrsSarahSimons
@Sociallyempty
@homopholiage
@Hitski_
This feels like one of those moments were she tells you you’ve taken it too far
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Woke up all weird and emotional. My lovely boy’s changed so many people’s lives for the better. He made mine so much better from the moment I knew he was with me. So proud. ❤️
He’ll bloody kill me if he sees this, so for balance:
Go f**k yourself Tom, you massive arsehole. 😃
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I'm about to swear, apologies in advance.
To those who're making nasty comments about *that* face reveal or even comparing others in a cruel way.
Have a fucking word with yourself and do better.
They're all real people FFS. Not animations or CGI.😠
Current mood: Don't mess.
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Happy birthday to this little sprout, now a great big daft 20 year old.
Love you
@tommyinnit
❤️❤️❤️
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This really made me chuckle. Three of my favourite people being daft. ❤️❤️❤️
Tommy trying to make a viral TikTok sound with tubbo and Molly but this is what he comes up with 😭
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Had a lovely day out with Mr S. Wembley's mad for a rainbow, which I'm ALL FOR (obvs). 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
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Touristing the shit out of New York with this beauty. 😍
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The only DM I've not deleted is one from an entitled content creator who had the nerve to send me a massive essay DM on why my son's bad.
The arrogance! A grown man complaining to the mum of his former pal. Playground behaviour. As if I'd go 'actually you're right'.
Blew my mind.
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Last night of the tour. Hammersmith Apollo.
Headliners at the historic venue have included:
The Beatles
The Rolling Stones
Ella Fitzgerald
Bruce Springsteen
Bob Marley
David Bowie
Queen
This daft twat. ❤️❤️❤️
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Big Walter's trying out a new up-do with his ears today.
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Met
@JamesMarriottYT
in the real life for the first time on Saturday, after hearing about him from my lad and speaking with him on the Facetime a couple of times.
I can confirm that he is awful.
Not really. Brilliant lad. I'm thinking of becoming a fan.
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Re my last tweet. It was from last August.
It was the one that you think it was.
Yes. THAT one.
We were all a bit surprised.
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My boy was missing the dogs so I sent him a squirrel friend (see below). He was less thrilled than I had hoped. In fact the words 'horrific' and 'disturbing' were used. Rude.😃😆
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I'm writing about considering beliefs that oppose yr own. Obviously racism, ableism, homophobia & similar hate-speak doesn't deserve a voice because there's no valid argument for it
What I don't understand is why anti-trans stuff gets such a platform. I honestly don't get it.🏳️⚧️
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Bloody 'ell. Man-spreading much? 🙄
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It's Iain and my 20th wedding anniversary. ❤️
We are celebrating by watching true crime documentaries and having us tea out. Then it's back on the road with our lad.
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Aaaah, a year ago today we were swimming in caves in Mexico.
I’ve hidden the boys’ faces because privacy. Somehow it draws even more attention to who they are. 😄😄😄
To be fair, they’re lucky I didn’t disgrace myself by drawing something childish & obscene on their heads.
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Please explain the meaning of ‘trauma dumping’ to me.
I feel like it’s a description of someone telling you something important that’s happened to them that you don’t want to hear.
Is that right?
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Big Walter is off his nut on pain meds after having a tooth out at the vet. He ain't a happy boy tonight. ☹️
(pls ignore my messy book shelves)
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Aaaah my boys are off to America. 🇺🇸
This is already the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my husband or son in person.
So looking fwd to seeing the show & reuniting with my fam. ❤️
We were on our way to 10 Downing St in this pic, trying not to be a couple of daft twats. 😃
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Big Walter’s been sniffing this tiny tree for about 10 minutes.
I’m concerned he might be a weirdo.
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@neimki
Take care and be super kind to yourself babes. You are a total badass warrior woman!
Sending loads of love and massive hugs to you. xxx
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An massive box full of *somebody’s* very first range of merchandise has arrived for me. ❤️ Feeling strangely emotional.
Eh, it’s good stuff as well. I LOVE IT!
(will do pics later on)
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Going to a wedding tmoz. VERY EXCITED. Not been to a heterosexual wedding for years.
Isn't it marvellous that the straights are allowed to get married nowadays.❤️
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Hanging with my sons.
Or is it son & son-in-law?
Either or. ❤️
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Big Walter had a really bad night after his injury - we were on with the vet at about 3am we were so worried about him. He's been much better today and even got up on his favourite chair. ❤️
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Haaaaaa.
This came up as a FB memory.
R Walter trying to shove R Tom off the sofa, using only his face muscles.
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I’m totally fine by the way. I’m a big strong warrior woman.
But I’m not one to go quietly and I won’t tolerate this level of bullshit.
So much misogyny. Honestly, I thought people (especially younger people) were better than this. I know almost all of you are.
Big love to you❤️
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In height news & in response to lots of messages:
Tom's dad is 6ft 5. I am 5ft 4.
Yes he is tall. Yes I am short.
On this pic with Tom & Freddie, swimming in a cave in Mexico, I look about 2 feet high. (Tom was freezing by the way, hence this being a rare non-grinning pic)
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D'you know pals, I don't like this insult, calling a person or action 'cringe'.
1- Cringing describes embarrassment someone feels in RESPONSE to someone/something. So it's their own personal subjective RESPONSE, not the behaviour of someone else. A person can't be 'cringe'.
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Wow!
My DMs are full of angry people calling me every slur available.
Thank fuck for block & delete so I don’t have to engage with any of that noise.
I’ll say it again for those who missed the memo:
Get some perspective &
calm yo tits, babes. This shit really doesn’t matter.🙄
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My pictures have arrived. Aren’t they lovely! Celebrating the two cities that are my family’s home. ❤️
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Aaaaah look what’s arrived. A lovely
@tommyinnit
@youtooz
plushie.
Reminds me of those wonderful days when he was little, before he could talk.
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Deliberating whether to take my son and his pals to my favourite NYC, underground, singalong, show tune, LGBTQ piano bar in a couple of weeks.
Last time I was in there a few years ago I left at 6am.
Friggin AWESOME. 🇺🇸🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️❤️
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It’s Mr Simons and my wedding anniversary today and we’ve bought each other the same card! ❤️
(there is more than one card shop in Nottingham, in case you were wondering 😄)
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Betty’s missing her human brother.
The toy’s from when my lad & me went to Disneyland Paris when he was about 10.
I got food poisoning from a breakfast bap & was throwing up in rubbish bins while Snow White gave me dirty looks. We can laugh now but it was the WORST TRIP EVER. 🤮
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Apparently you can only buy these (absolutely excellent quality and I'm not just saying that because... y'know) clothes for one more day. So get shopping.
*Dogs not included.
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Got a lovely Mother’s Day card from my 2 dog children as well as a gorgeous bouquet of flowers from my human one. ❤️
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LOVE these 2 pics.
Proper visual of how Tom and his fans and friends behave with each other (bonkers) vs how they are with me (lovely). 😊
Was lovely to see you
@dxn_mp4
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Getting ‘judgy face’ from these two for daring to not be at home for 3 nights.
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Bloody hell. I may have happened upon a relative of you-know-who. 😬
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3 years ago today I met Walter for the first time - here's a pic. He'd been in the shelter for ages - no one came to see him for adoption - before that in the dog pound, picked up as a stray.
He's wonderful. We're so lucky to have him as part of our family. We love him so much❤️
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We had a sneaky wander through the convention centre before everyone arrived.
It was a v different experience the next day with 30,000 people there! ❤️
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Bloody 'ell. It's taken me a gallon of coffee and 'Six: The Musical' played on full blast to get me going today.
Current mood (see below).
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I’ve recently been diagnosed with ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
It’s shit at the mo while I learn how to manage it, but there’s a great benefit. Having v limited energy forces me to be choosy what I give my time & attention to.
It’s so liberating to ignore all the silly noise! ❤️
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I am so sorry for my friends in America. This is terrible terrible news. Forcing women (and trans and non binary people) to carry a pregnancy against their will or resulting in unsafe terminations. It's a barbaric and regressive ruling.
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To all the Handmaid’s Tale-level misogynistic fucks speculating about my fertility & why I only had one kid…
I was pregnant 5 more times after having Tom & sadly none of my babies survived to full term. It was a v traumatic time.
Hope that info helps with yr online discussions.
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Following yesterday’s palaver, the person in question has been in touch & apologised to me for their behaviour, which I appreciate & have gratefully accepted.
Everyone fucks up. Every single one of us. But to own it & take responsibility is admirable. I respect that. ❤️
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Regarding this morning's nonsense:
It's not to do with my son or his colleagues.
I don't take kindly to being attacked for calling out abuse towards me & my family, particularly when I'm mentioned in that abuse.
It's not ok tell someone to stay silent when they're being attacked
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@Sociallyempty
@homopholiage
@Hitski_
@tommyinnit
Tom & I are v sweary at each other, though I tend not to swear at him on here.
In real life my response would probs be 'No YOU fuck off, biyach!'.
We have huge respect for each other and he'd never do anything to hurt my feelings. This is just our version of mum & son chat.❤️
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Putting my best foot forward.
London adventures, then Brighton to visit Ratbag❤️❤️❤️
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Counting the minutes until R Tom’s first show. He wanted it to be a surprise for me so the first night (in Nottingham) will be the first time I’ve seen it too!
Very very excited.
And with the super talented
@badlinu
and
@JackManifoldTV
it’s bound to be brilliant! ❤️❤️❤️
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My boys are back from America. They visited the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures.
Whose costume is this?
WRONG answers only please. 😀
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For anyone losing their shit about my most recent tweets. Calm yo tits, babes. It doesn't matter.
Most of us have real life important, difficult stuff that we have to deal with every day.
Me gossiping about a silly lad who got on my nerves with his narcissism just doesn't matter.
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Had a wonderful time with my lad at 10 Downing St, to attend
@Sarcoma_UK
Shining Star Awards.
Such a moving celebration of the wonderful work taking place to increase awareness, build community, raise funds & continue medical research.
Thank you so much to all at
@Sarcoma_UK
❤️
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Happy birthday
@KarlJacobs_
You had me at 'running directly into our moving golf buggy until a security guard shouted'.
First impressions count. 😀😀😀
Big fan!
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The tap in my hotel bathroom really reminds me of Betty The Whippet.
I’ve drawn ears and a nose on to demonstrate
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@harrynotaverage
@tommyinnit
FFS Harry, has he married YOU as well now?
*sighs*
Welcome to the family. 🙄
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A pair of massive gold scissors turned up on my kitchen hanging rack about a month ago.
I assumed they were from when my husb cleared his mum’s house.
He assumed they were from when I sorted my dad’s. Neither of us mentioned it until just now.
We have no idea how they got here!
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Interview with my lad in
@thetimes
today. ❤️
For clarity, I mean my lad Tom Simons not my lad Walter Simons - like Kate Bush, Walter doesn’t do press. Also he’s a dog.
Eh,
@theukfechat
pals, we get a mention too.
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In the ever-glamorous Simons Family news: Big Walter has sick and diarrhoea. Lovely treat for all of us. 🤮
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Pals, especially younger pals. I'm so sorry that I can't give advice on specific problems, though I feel so honoured that you share with me
What I'll always say is, if yr unsafe, if yr unwell, if yr worried, PLEASE share yr thoughts with a trusted adult in your life.
🧵1 of 2
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It was a total privilege to meet so many of you earlier on. Thank you so much for being so kind and lovely!
I’m sorry if we haven’t had chance to have a hug just yet. I’m around the rest of the weekend so please do come and have a chat ❤️❤️❤️xxx
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There’s a tiny lady aged 93 at my dad’s nursing home who absolutely believes I’m her mum.
Today she climbed onto my knee, flung her arms round my neck & blew a raspberry on my forehead.
We don’t contradict ppl with dementia or take them out of their reality. Plus, I like a hug ❤️
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We also saw a pile of stones.
It’ll be nice when it’s finished.
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I was trying to remember the name of one of my son’s pals who I think is a very funny lad.
While trying to locate his name in my brain I tried the following:
Sploot. NO
Stinko. NO
Skarky. NO
Nemo Cat. NO
Dooge. NO
🙄
Got there in the end.
I was in fact referring to
@wispexe
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So sorry pals. I’ve got to put my DMs on private for a bit - it’s been a bumper day for ppl threatening to rape me, which creates a shitload of admin -Twitter, Police, our security etc. 🙄
I’ll be back on Twitch tmoz at 7pm with one of my faves
@harrynotaverage
Big love pals ❤️
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Last selfie with my teenager. Next time I see him he’ll be in his 20s! ❤️
Thank you Boston, it’s been a wonderful 24 hrs. Gorgeous city, can’t wait to come back for a longer visit.
Shitloads of Manhattan adventures today then onto Philly tomorrow eve for birthday celebrations.🎂
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Pals, thanks for helping me understand 'trauma dumping'.So it's unsolicited/inappropriately timed sharing of personal trauma.
I get it's a problematic thing to receive but those 2 words together sit really badly with me -feels dismissive of someone else's experience.D'you get me?
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Just seen these pics of me pushing
@badlinu
about. I was just making sure his lovely fans got to say hello to him!
Soz for shoving, Fredzo! 😄
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My lad’s name in lights on Broadway. At 19 years old!
Blows my mind does that. Couldn’t be prouder. ❤️
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On a night out. Currently being murdered by my own bra.
It’s v pretty but a vicious bastard comfort-wise.
Was that too much information, pals? Soz. 🍉🍉
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Fabulous afternoon in Washington DC with these marvellous sorts. ❤️
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Birthday innit. 49 today!
Done well for prezzos.
Wonderful
@christhebarker
‘Two Soups’ print from my husband. A massive bunch of weird and gorgeous flowers from my boy.
I’m a v lucky old bag. 😊
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Having an absolutely gorgeous time. And we’ve got our daily croque monsieur research completed as well. 🇫🇷
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