Mike Honcho
@MrMarcus260
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Following
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Writer. My pen makes people laugh. Former story editor of Bob ❤️’s Abishola #BlackLivesMatter
Los Angeles, CA
Joined March 2014
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Pinned Tweet
5 dead in apparent murder-suicide at Yukon, Oklahoma home-
The Oklahoma City Police Department identified the four victims as 39-year-old Lindsay Candy, 18-year-old Dylan Candy, 14-year-old Ethan Candy and 12-year-old Lucas Candy. The suspect, the father and husband to the…
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Literally everyone will get this
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My daughter told me she was gay and expected me to be shocked like I'm not the one that's been buying her Lightning McQueen, Ninja turtles, and Transformers, her whole life. Girl I figured it was a possibility.
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He put that MF ON you hear me?
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Being 39 is wild, I asked this woman if she has any children and she said no. I pull up her socials she got 4 grown ass kids. I said what’s this? She said “You asked if I have children. I don’t. I have adults.”
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I shamefully don’t know anything about Filipino history but I know they been through it cause they sing DOWN
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Somebody asked me how to download Black Twitter because they only have the regular one and I almost peed myself laughing.
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Post the same actor in two roles that show their range.
Game over.
Post the same actor in two roles that show their range.
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Our pastor secretly divorced his wife of 20+ years and announced his engagement in front of the ex wife, his new woman, and the entire congregation. When his new woman's current husband started to approach the pulpit for a talk with our pastor, the deacons jumped him
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen WITH YOUR OWN EYES happen in church?
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When professor Snape tries to skip over slavery in your history of Muggles class
#BlackHogwarts
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@bellababyj
Right?!? Like I'm not her Daddy! I didn't want her coming out to be perceived as me not taking it seriously but GIRL you thought YOUR DADDY didn't know? It was a little insulting. 🤣
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Slander Dolly Parton in front of me and it's gone be some furniture movin.
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Today is my birthday, and my name will be on TV for writing. Exactly a year ago I was working a twelve hour shift in a factory. Your whole life can change in 365 days.
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@BeffernieBlack
Thanks Bethany. But I'm just a Dad. I'm not losing any of my kids over what they do with their private parts. My job is to love, protect, and support them.
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Does Keri Hilson know whenever the president wants to communicate with the american people he can LITERALLY call a press conference at his house? This is why more people need to read.
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In 2004 Cracker barrel settled a discrimination lawsuit because- allowed white servers to refuse to wait on African-American customers;
- segregated customer seating by race;
- seated white customers before African-American customers who arrived earlier.
Please shut up.
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People like this was cool with my cousins getting 50 years for weed. But 5 years for treason and they want justice.
I, a mom & grandmother with no criminal history, have lived like this since
#j6
. The box on my ankle holding me INSIDE the house, unable to live. In 13 days the government will force me to endure a 51 month sentence because the last 3 years of confinement means nothing.
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Them: “Did you write today?”
Me: “No…but I thought about it.”
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Me getting validation from the only person that matters
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@TheKalenAllen
@KMJeezy
To pick those they gotta feel it in the soul. That’s how I know there’s pain there. And perseverance.
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Trump did all the nigga shit they said Obama was gonna do.
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I lost my little brother today. My older sister found him in His apartment. He was only 30. No kids, no wife. He was one of my best friends. I'm broken.
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I got staffed as a writer for the first time on a major network show today. I'm so happy I can barely stand it.
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Bro knew when he saw Keith Lee he was gone be able to pay the mortgage payment this month
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Herpes.
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@ChocolatChutney
@ElPowello
It’s like that for me when I have Adderall my friends get all jittery and active while I’m finally able to focus and get all the work done I’ve been putting off for months. Every time I start thinking “Probably time to get tested big dog” then I don’t.
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@a_little_janie
I live in a city with the Lowest cost if living in the country i have a great job and I own a couple businesses. 😁
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If I'm ever in a bind send my nigga Andy to get me out. I know he gone do whatever the fuck it takes and that's the kind of energy I need
#FyreFestival
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@carierobins_
I NEVER said I was perfect. I’m voicing my issues with you. Instead of addressing them you’d rather go tit for tat, no thank you.
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Btw while I'm here Check out
@tea_natasha
it's owned and operated by the best people I know and it's probably the best Tea on Earth 🤷🏿♂️
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Gabrielle union treated men how men treat women and men hate her for it.
Gabrielle Union says she felt comfortable with cheating on her first husband since she paid all the bills.
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I see a touching Father son moment. The dudes who just got on the tour probably see Godzilla training baby Godzilla 🤣
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I once left a woman I was sleeping with at my apartment while I went to spend the night with my BM...long story short, she robbed me.
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Let's GOOOO! That Nigga Jason Whitlock look like somebody peeled a potato then tried to glue the skin back on
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I’m going to write a reboot of this that’s half Yellowstone half Riverdale
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One of the greatest shows of all time. I’m not kidding.
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@akstanwyck
@ADuralde
@TheWrap
Well I'm 33 I have 8 sisters and my childhood was walking into rooms and they're crying watching that "Flop" I love him for that.
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@laurakayeauthor
@Slate
I went to jail once and had read every book on the cellblock besides the romance novels. I picked one up and have been a huge fan of the whole genre since.
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@Aeduann_MaaHes
@Beautyfulrenae
The slapping the hand away and chewing while making eye contact like “nah I want to remember this pain” is what would’ve scared me.
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I’d love to act shocked but alas I live here
Reminder: The only reason we don’t have Universal Healthcare in the United States is because the dominant society doesn’t want Black people to have it.
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When somebody says "20 years ago" they mean the year 2000... that's been bothering me all day.
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Democrats think they can shame the other side into being honorable. It's such a dumb plan.
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Gentrification happens when white people can't afford the spaces they've built to get away from us anymore
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@Totalitaurean
@Queen_OF__MEAN
Turtle prob took all day with that dub. The Gator pissed but gotta chill cause that Turtle always got the best shit.
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U.S. steel is doing layoffs. The people who work there voted for Trump because they thought they were trading in their souls for job security. They lost both.
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@ChocnessMonsta
@TheWrap
Exactly. Black people love him for Color Purple and the fact that it was nominated for everything and won nothing is still a crime.
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Director: "I wanna make this show called
#UmbrellaAcademy
it's going to be amazing not too pricey"
Netflix: "Great. So what's the catch?"
Director: "I need a billion dollars for the music"
Netflix: "Done"
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If D-Wade like me you better keep this shit on the internet cause I don't fuckin play about mine gay/straight/trans/pan IDGAF I love my babies and I refuse to lose any of them over who they love and anybody I CATCH making them feel less than Gone CATCH THESE HANDS and thassit
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@accostherwilde
@misstrissy5
@AdamOwensTV
Exactly. Trophies are for winners. These people tried to devide our country....and they want to celebrate them? Why?
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@LaNoireDe
@akstanwyck
@ADuralde
@TheWrap
I just hate to hear that said about a movie that affected my experience as a black person and my sister's as black women.
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Miley low-key has one of the strongest voices in music. I didn't see that coming on Hannah Montana.
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A divorce after 1 year? Somebody probably cheated.
A divorce after 26 years? Somebody probably refused to make a life saving vaccine available to poor countries, making them directly responsible for countless deaths, after you've spent years trying to help people 🤷🏿
ppl splitting up after decades of marriage is so interesting to me. i always wonder what the last straw was lol
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Me on the beach after only spending $17 for a round-trip ticket thanks to the Corona Virus:
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@JalphLauren
@CHEWTHISASSh_
@animalfriespls
@DeuceAltendre
😂😂😂 he said who paid. This nigga gone be my teacher. If he can do all that at 300 pounds I know I can pull
@rihanna
with the right lie.
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This is called the captain chair. It's a non violent form of physical punishment. My son is 13, 6 feet tall, and weighs around 200lbs. I'm done with getting all worked up, From now on he just doing this.
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Because he stole it. Because he’s a piece of shit.
Ex-NFL quarterback Favre must finish repaying misspent welfare money, Mississippi auditor says
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Kevin Hart, Tiger Woods, and Future when they See Lena Waithe:
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Aunt: you still ain't told your mamma you flunked out of school?
Me: You still ain't told your husband them kids ain't his?
#ThanksgivingClapBack
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@ChocnessMonsta
Exactly which is sad. That white feminism solo shit is ugly. But she gone be yelling for sisterhood when her next bullshit movie come out.
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@SkipFromBk
@iamcloudyj
This nigga didn’t want to troll or joke was just genuinely like “It was fucked up” and this is during prime troll 50 era.
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Martin, Living Single, Fresh Prince, Family Matters, The Cosby Show, A Different World, NY Undercover, In the house, Thea, Hanging with Mr.Cooper, Moesha, Wayans bros., The Game, Girlfriends, The Parkers..
ain’t it funny how shows in the 90s and early 2000s had more diversity and more darkskin main characters than now. like how tf did the industry backtrack that hard.
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Hey, all my regular followers: I'm feeling really self conscious because one of my Dad tweets went viral, so I probably won't be talking about eating ass today. Sorry. - Management
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@CaptiveAudie
@laurakayeauthor
@Slate
There's so much to love about them. They are light and sexy but also deal with the heaviest most important subject all, Love. There is lust of course, but love is the driving force of every book and I find myself enjoying it every time.
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Men in their 30's: "I'm finally ready to settle down"
Women in their 30's: "I have all my own shit. No you can't live here. No I don't need no help. Drop the dick off and go. I got work in the morning."
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Trading Places
Coming to America
Harlem Nights
Boomerang
Vampire in Brooklyn (written by Charlie Murphy)
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@MatthewACherry
My cousin Jefferson Reed just wanted to see Shakespeare in Love...some guys chased him down an alley and told him iambic pentameter is for whites only. They hit him with a Meteor. He would have been 50 this week.
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