Austin Profile Banner
Austin Profile
Austin

@MrAustinParrish

Followers
5,879
Following
798
Media
859
Statuses
8,887

Come for the shirtless selfies and dank memes, leave because of the rampant gay conservatism. Homocon, formerly @CloestLibertarian .

Minnesota, USA
Joined July 2016
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Being gay was more fun when it was counterculture and subversive. Now I just want a husband, a white picket fence, and to be left alone by the #AlphabetMafia .
249
419
7K
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
When I was coming of age you could walk into a gay bar and it would be packed full of attractive men, now if you walk into a gay bar you're lucky if you can even find a man.
42
20
558
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
@HarrisonKrank Looks mostly peaceful to me.
3
1
508
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
10 months
Overhead at the gay bar: “We should shoot all the Log Cabin Republicans.” Haha but somehow we’re the authoritarian “fascists”. 🤷🏼‍♂️ I’m just sitting here working.
36
31
454
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
6 months
Because a happy and healthy 2-parent household is bad for… …checks notes… the conservative movement. 🤨
80
28
343
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
It’s sweatpants season boys.
Tweet media one
44
6
279
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
Did you get your 4th of July workout in yet? Happy Independence Day!
Tweet media one
22
15
300
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
7 months
@BillMelugin_ So we waisted 3 weeks and embarrassed ourselves to get rid of @SpeakerMcCarthy for what exactly… 🤣🤷🏼‍♂️
35
19
315
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
Have you ever noticed that the loudest most in your face ‘don’t judge how I express myself’ gays are the first and meanest to judge guys who are just normal dudes that are gay? 🤔
21
12
252
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Big Gay’s continued attempts to erase @fredkarger and @RichardGrenell from history tells you everything you need to know about “the LGBT community”
14
24
224
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 months
Hot tub and white claw after shoveling. I feel better now.
Tweet media one
23
5
243
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
There is an insufficient number of homocons in this hot tub right now.
Tweet media one
10
10
214
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
My date this evening canceled so I’m posting thirst traps and drinking Taco Bell lemonade that I spiked. because we’re working on healthy coping mechanisms.
Tweet media one
23
2
225
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
One advantage of the majority of gays being close minded democrats is that if I don’t find a guy attractive I can just mention that I work for Republicans and that usually scares them off. 😅
17
7
227
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
5 years
@JLPtalk 1. Christianity tells us to love everyone no matter their ‘sins’, it’s not our place to judge them. 2. Conservatism is about self determination and personal responsibility. 3. So yes it is entirely possible to be gay, believe in Christ, and be for rugged individualism.
15
11
178
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 months
Tess says hi
Tweet media one
31
6
218
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Going gun shopping with some gays tomorrow. #Pride2020 #ArmedGaysDontGetBashed
19
13
176
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
Have The Gays™️ absolutely obliterated their dopamine receptors with porn and hook up culture to such a point that ‘I’m told this is fun’ and ‘it’s what all they gays do’ is their only gauge of what actually quantifies as enjoyment? 🤔
40
13
189
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Great ending to this Omaha trip is getting a drink with @sephpelech !
Tweet media one
16
3
187
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
“How are you still single?” is not the compliment you think it is.
23
2
177
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
10 months
It’s not even that hot out this morning but man is it humid. 🏃🏻‍♂️
Tweet media one
11
0
176
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
@ScottFordTVGuy Nope, but the media is going to try as hard as they can.
1
2
144
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
I keep wearing this shirt to the gym but no one takes me up on it.
Tweet media one
23
3
174
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Who’s going to #RNC and Chill with me and my cute little GOP Elephant my mom made for me.
Tweet media one
20
2
156
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
6 years
- Matches with hot gay Republican. - Chats with said hot gay Republican. - Realizes we are 3 ½ hours apart. - 😥😢😭
28
4
139
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Realizing I need to clean my mirror. 😅
Tweet media one
21
3
165
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
It may be 4°f outside but the hot tub with @marsthegadfly is 102°!
Tweet media one
11
3
148
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Since everyone is posting their Christmas trees, here is my first tree at the new house.
Tweet media one
14
1
158
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
Being stuck in Minnesota means thirst traps from the gym. 😝
Tweet media one
22
1
162
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
@Livefromreality Nah, I’m still counterculture. Now being a gay man who wants a monogamous relationship with another gay man is counterculture to the mainstreamed LGBTQIAP2S+.
4
3
156
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
I know people say you shouldn’t dress up to fly but I feel super dapper. Plus I need the jacket with me and I didn’t want to use luggage space for it.
Tweet media one
25
2
140
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
10 months
Can confirm. 🤤
9
5
137
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
I’m happy to have friends that don’t agree with me politically, but if you think I’m “not being my authentic self” because I’m not some raging leftist fem queen you should maybe reevaluate the meaning of authenticity. This is me, take me or leave me.
7
6
153
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
@GraduatedBen Gaslighting is one thing, but blaming it on breakfast!!! Now that’s where I draw the line.
1
3
131
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
I’m pretty sure Grindr installed this mirror at my parents house, it’s so short I’ve never actually seen my face in it.
Tweet media one
15
3
141
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
If I were a lib I would post some long virtue signal about mass transit, but actually I’m just fiscally responsible and want to drink at this Christmas Party tonight.
Tweet media one
11
3
137
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Just finished voting for @realDonaldTrump !
6
7
124
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
@cabot_phillips IDK, this headline makes me like them even more. 🙌🏼
1
1
138
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
7 months
Instagram saw it first.
Tweet media one
15
4
141
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Pictured: Leftist gay vs Conservative Gay. 🔥
@Queerty
Queerty
4 years
Jonathan Van Ness has a message for Aaron Schock
Tweet media one
21
9
114
11
12
118
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Conservatives who assume all gays are leftists are just as bad if not worse than liberals who assume all gays are leftists. 💁🏼‍♂️
19
9
129
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Yes, I will love my car more than you. #SorryNotSorry
Tweet media one
15
1
126
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
After venturing out to a Minneapolis Gay Bar last night I think it’s time we just start treating liberal gays the same way they treat us. 💁🏼‍♂️
14
2
126
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
The correct way to post gym.
Tweet media one
5
2
128
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
When you paint lamb’s blood on your door and the angel of death still comes anyway.
Tweet media one
6
19
127
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
3:28:15 marathon time! 🙌🏼
Tweet media one
21
1
128
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
@SEIguy I was called a “fascist f*ggot” way back in 2015 during college. I feel like such a trendsetter. 💁🏼‍♂️
4
0
123
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
How to relax at the end of a long day.
Tweet media one
13
5
126
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
As requested, I can now properly pearl clutch with the best of them. 💁🏼‍♂️
Tweet media one
20
0
123
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
I almost fell off the treadmill trying to check a guy out at the gym. 😅 Clearly we should just not let me out in public.
13
0
125
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
I’m sorry, but if you’re so f*cking gaslit to believe that in the year of our Lord 2023 anyone in the #LGBTQIA ++XYZ alpha mafia is having their rights stripped away you deserve to live in the constant state of panic you’ve all worked yourselves into.
4
19
130
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
I was informed that I had been posting an insufficient number of thirst traps recently, so 10 miles and 1:12:35 later here you boys are. 😘
Tweet media one
18
5
119
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Because I know how much you boys love post run thirst traps.
Tweet media one
13
3
115
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
I find it vastly entertaining when guys tell me I’m some radical right wing extremist but then will still slide into my DM’s late at night. 🤔😂
11
1
121
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
6 months
Is every gay posting their Christmas tree tonight? Here’s mine.
Tweet media one
22
0
124
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
@SydneyLWatson I’m actually gay (a man who likes other masculine men) and I would still say yes. Too many of these cultural gays who just perform it for woke points and to get their piece of the “community”.
11
5
116
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Burning off all those Christmas cookies. 😅
Tweet media one
5
1
114
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
You ever see a guy and think he’s kind of cute, but then you look at the blank stare on his face and realize there is absolutely nothing going on up there.
25
1
112
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
6 months
Sorry, no politics tonight. I’ve got trains to run.
Tweet media one
23
1
125
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Since gyms are still under @GovTimWalz ’s draconian orders and the Lord blessed us with this beautiful warm(ish) December morning I’m outside enjoying 10 miles of fresh mask-free air.
Tweet media one
6
1
104
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
9 months
Work trips mean 10pm runs on the dreadmill in gym clothes that don’t match. 🙃
Tweet media one
21
3
114
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
I know this is the favorite picture every summer. 🏎😜
Tweet media one
10
1
109
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Looking at my GOP email on the way to a gay bar. 😅
7
0
111
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Do guys actually hook up and not feel anything beyond getting off because this is a completely foreign concept to me and I think they’re lying? 🤔
52
1
110
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
It’s finally shirtless running season here!
Tweet media one
8
2
102
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
There are an additional 4000 guardsmen in the Twin Cities right now, maybe I should download Grindr and try to get one of them to wife me up. 😅
21
3
85
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
When people ask me how I can be gay and a Republican: Democrats do sh*t like this.
@mnlogcabin
Minnesota Log Cabin Republicans
1 year
After taking an amendment to move language stating pedophilia is not a sexual orientation, @mnhouseDFL and @SenateDFL remove it in conference committee blowing the door wide open for actual pedophiles to use sexuality as a criminal defense. Absolutely unconscionable!
7
15
40
11
18
104
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
16 days
Just another gay reading @RichardHanania .
Tweet media one
10
2
107
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Retail therapy is the best therapy. 💁🏼‍♂️
Tweet media one
4
2
95
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
No effort November means wearing a hat to work.
Tweet media one
6
3
97
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
If I were a member of the @TexasHDC I wouldn’t need this mask to get on my flight.
Tweet media one
5
6
95
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
Why are so many people chasing boring meaningless sex? Like you all do know it’s WAY better when it’s someone you actually have feelings for, right?
15
1
97
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
Tweet media one
8
1
103
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
It’s like The Gays™️ are actively trying to make me homophobic. 💁🏼‍♂️
10
4
97
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Eights Miles Later
Tweet media one
11
1
96
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Fresh haircut and pre marathon weekend warm up run.
Tweet media one
8
3
87
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Straight people need to stop calling their husband/wife their “partner”, it throws off my already terrible gay-dar.
4
5
95
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Fleet. 😜
Tweet media one
9
2
95
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Tess (the cat) is having non of this.
Tweet media one
2
0
89
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
You boys can have the un-cropped version. 😉
Tweet media one
5
1
91
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
“I’m a Republican but here are all the Democrats I vote for because I want to be a cool gay and have friends” Queen, you’re not a Republican 💁🏼‍♂️
5
2
91
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Fun day at the lake!
Tweet media one
2
1
97
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
Door knocking while it’s snowing is not my favorite. 🥶 #TurnMinnesotaRed
Tweet media one
13
1
86
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Work out. Don’t eat bugs.
Tweet media one
9
3
95
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
The masculine urge to buy a chest freezer and half of a cow.
13
5
94
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
When we get sent off to the gulag I expect all the Homocons to end up in the same camp. Otherwise I’m rioting.
5
4
84
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
I know as gays were supposed to come out of the closet, but my new closet makes me so happy! 😊
Tweet media one
6
1
82
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
The summer body is almost back from winter hibernation. I do really need a haircut though.
Tweet media one
13
1
88
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Group projects in school made me the conservative I am today.
5
2
81
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
I lost followers after posting this and honestly that just makes me laugh harder. 🤣
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
11 months
As requested, I can now properly pearl clutch with the best of them. 💁🏼‍♂️
Tweet media one
20
0
123
14
0
83
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
@XM8Doublefeed @reddit_TLCM No, because they’ve become so self absorbed they’ve lost all ability to self reflect.
2
1
75
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
Have to enjoy every outdoors run possible before winter returns.
Tweet media one
5
3
86
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
4 years
@lgbtqnation This factually incorrect! If you hadn’t burnt all of your credibility already the last of it just went up in flames.
1
2
71
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
2 years
If you send 20+ sequential messages to a guy you’ve talked to like once that start from “I think I love you” and end with “you’re going to die alone” you might be the problem. 😬🤣
10
0
85
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
8 months
How to recover from the gym and end a busy day.
Tweet media one
11
0
87
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
Tweet media one
5
2
82
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
5 years
Tonight’s outfit... JK I put a shirt on before heading out.
Tweet media one
17
4
80
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
5 years
100% Husband Hunting out here tonight! #GaysForTrump
Tweet media one
19
1
73
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
1 year
I am tired 😴
Tweet media one
11
0
89
@MrAustinParrish
Austin
3 years
I hate gays, they’re the f*cking worst.
39
5
79