The common house parasite has been known to parish in the sunlight.

Just reminding everyone… I am NOT a Furry.

Someone start an argument with me please! You are the best person ever!!

I upset one of my friends so they did this. What am I supposed to do with this!?

Was just jump scared by sticky keys, in the year of our lord, 2025.

I’m not saying I would chicken a few people’s Minecraft bases, including my own to avoid suspicion, wait a month until I was sure someone else came on the server, and then “discovered” that my own base got egged so others would check their bases butttttttt….

https://t.co/4TYHe9fEcf

Guys it worked!! I got carrots 🥕!!

I want carrots.

Pasta is my favorite color.

When I was 4 I thought holding your breath just meant keeping some in your cheeks. So I’d keep breathing through my nose in breath holding contests In kindergarten and didn’t understand why people kept telling me I was cheating. Next time I went swimming I figured it out quick

If you don’t ever velociraptor around your house are you really living life to it’s fullest?

Waking up from a fever nap like “does gravity rise in the west or is that taco Wednesdays?”

When “it’s not a competition” actually means “L it is totally a competition and your are losing you loser” but you don’t actually say that but out loud because it’s “not nice”.

How do I talk to my ball python about road rage?

I don’t always have profound thoughts but when I do… Fish are pudding.

Checking this app like “did I miss anything important?” No. No I didn’t because there’s nothing important here.

I wish I had a shadblow serviceberry tree in my life. Mostly because I think it has a funny name. Who’s shad and what’s the service?

https://t.co/NWgHiptItG THE TRAILER. BE THERE FRIDAY!

Announcing the 7th batch of players for One Shot Royale 9! @MoonsReign @CaptainAJX @vigvig_000 @KatsExistance @Cycrum Watch them brawl Sunday September 29th at 12PM EST!