Mini #Fact: The New Testament mis-spelling of Christ's first 3 gifts is being debated by scholars in Israel.#Gold.#Frankenscense.#Nurr.

Mini #Fact: Theatrical re-imagining of a Greek votive offering, the 'Rubber Horse of Troy' is to be staged at London's Lycra Theatre in May.

Mini #fact: Cheaper energy option: 100% pork HAM CANDLES. Upside: They burn 67% longer than wax. Downside: They make your room smell of pigs.

Mini #Fact: Last night, UK's oldest chimp Care-Home Stanley received his last ever visit from the Tooth Fairy.

Mini #Fact: Tip: Never get lost in Rome again. Hire the raw talent, local wisdom and hunting skills of a Colosseum Guide Owl.#Talons.#Prey.

Mini #fact Today, our three new office armadillos were delivered, fittingly, in an armoured truck by Tusps & Sons. Please send photos of your office creatures together with their delivery specialists.

Mini #fact: Despite the MonkeyPox virus, at the last count there are still 100% monkeys in Africa. That's 100 in every 100.

Finger-written on the back of a dirty van: "I wish I was Welsh and had guns like my mate Dave".

Mini #fact: Slaptarrows and Lunar Corn Chariots are the only edible British butterflies. However, eaten together causes colourblindness.

Mini #fact: The fabled Hogs-Bison or 'Dog Particle' was discovered when two Sand Terriers collided in Switzerland. #nobel prize.#Switzerland.

Mini #Fact: Mice in Hull have been drinking water from radiators and causing boilers to explode.

Mini Fact: Peruvian horses produce tears with a high alcohol content. Flies are becoming alcoholics and drink the eyes until passing out.

Check out the new Dan Rhodes book "When The Professor Got Stuck In The Snow" - another massively enjoyable gem!.#@MiyukiBooks.

Mini #fact: "Tissers" (people born without noses) can still smell salt.

Mini #fact: Distance yourself from all the shit with Mr Switchoff's new range of TV Talent Show Repellent Sprays. Works on all channels.

Mini #fact: Uk's oldest chimp Care-Home Stanley is celebrating his fish-infected stomach scan results. It seems the tuna hasn't spread.

Mini #Fact: Beekeepers in Rye have issued a warning not to approach their increasingly transparent honeybees. Their bees are fading fast.

MiniFact: On the Burlock estate in Newport, crows are building rubber nests from windscreen wiper blades that they have stripped off Nissans.

Mini Fact: Tension mounts in Parliament as opposition grows towards proposed ban on tinnitus. Yesterday's hearing was badly affected.

MiniFact: New Opium Scented toilet cistern chunks are available from April from "Poppyflush" from their range of "Khazifresh" WC enhancers.