Purple Haynes, all in my brain Lately my car don't seem the same Actin' funny, but I don't know why 'Scuse me while I fix this guy

At the height of his addiction, Kevin Keegan drank 20 bottles of Brut a day. #CelebrityFacts

Is it just me or has Autumn arrived already?

Roses are red I think it's a firm 'NO'

The Beatles get their A Level results. Aug 1964. #MusicHistoryInPictures

Just eaten some grapes that were a bit tart.

Back to work then.

Won a £15 beer voucher in a pub quiz tonight.

I've just seen a sandwich that cost £12. #GriefBacon

Why do people applaude when an airplane lands? The very LEAST I expect from a pilot is that they can take off & land properly.

Still haven't decided what to bring your mum back as a souvenir..

Wondered where Lionel Richie's bust ended up..

The glass collectors here are hardcore..

Wondered where he'd gone after EastEnders.

Me, when I see the Events Team heading towards my sunlounger.

Last day of relaxing..activate!

I love English signs abroad.

Tonight's titfer.

The building across the way from my room has a ferret smoking a cigarette on top of it.

A pissed bloke who was missing several teeth & was tattooed from head to toe just told me he thinks I look like Noddy Holder. Which is nice.

Just told the Events Team I would rather shit in my hands & clap before joining one of their events but unfortunately for me that was the next event they were gathering volunteers for.