If you think the American flag is "offensive," I suggest you sit the hell down & pray in thanksgiving for the men & women who came home draped in that flag to protect your right to speak your stupid opinion.

There's no limit to what a woman with a can do attitude, can do.

Pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion. Pro-choice means that, no matter what my personal feelings/beliefs about abortion are, I understand it’s NOT MY PLACE to make a decision for another woman about what she can and can’t do with HER BODY.

If you can't afford birth control or condoms you sure as hell can't afford a kid.

If youre complaining about being sick of winter and you dont have snow where you live, stfu

Some people drowns their sorrows in drugs and alcohol, but I prefer caffine.

Some of y’all never learned to rap Super Bass by heart and it shows.

If you ever get a "Maryssa said No" from Brandon, he's lying. I literally never say no.. I'm like the mom who agrees to everything, just to get you TF out of the house.

QUIT ASKING ME IF IM NERVOUS. IF YOURE NERVOUS TO GET MARRIED, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDNT.

'Your generation is lazy& disrespectful'... BITCH WHO RAISED US

I'm convinced Brandon telling me 'hes trying' to help with wedding stuff is the biggest lie hes ever told me.

Call me a bad wife 💁 idfc. But I dont ever want to look back at our wedding day and see centerpieces or color choices. I want to look back and see our love come through. So keep your shallow opinions to YO DAMN SELF

Ok but like.. Its 2018. Why can I NOT buy a jar of pickle JUICE. No pickles, just juice. @GedneyFoodsCo

I hate hipsters. Wash your clothes and take a fucking shower like the rest of us. Stop being lazy and calling it 'style'.

You shouldn't have pride in yourself, if you arent providing for yourself.

The man on the therapy table next to me at the chiropractor is moaning in pain/pleasure.. CAN YOU FUCKING NOT.

Nothing more relaxing than a shower beer 👌👌

Getting in my car after a 14 hour work day has got me singing halle-freaking-lujah

No freaking wonder no one wants to buy a house anymore. So much unnecessary paperwork! #Wells Fargo #wasteoftime