Some folks who saw my email signature commented on it, so I wanted to share. The US is the only developed nation w/o subsidized childcare. Adding it would increase our GDP over 1 trillion dollars. Not a handout — it’s a smart decision when facing a recession and labor shortages.
As my 10yo got his
@pfizer
vaccine tonight he was nervous but kept whispering his (high risk) best friend’s name over and over. And I have zero regrets that my kid was scared and yet did something out of love for another person anyways.
One of my kids begs for sushi, orders crab at every place it’s on the menu, and just asked me if we can make açaí bowls.
One of my kids can tell what brand a chicken nugget is by a sniff.
I’ve parented them both the same. Cut yourself some slack, parents of The Picky Ones.
Thought it was really hip our high school marching band played Blink-182 last night. “It’s nice they play more modern music, ours only played oldies,” I found myself thinking.
Then it hit me.
Nearly every interview I’ve done w/moms this week has kids popping in to say hi, moms still in gym clothes and sweaty, calls from cars or closets (me too!), or a pause to make a snack.
Every man I’ve interviewed was in a quiet office space and was not interrupted once.
So my kids asked to see our cat’s ashes, and I said yes and explained it would look like gray dust. You know, like in the movies, right?
So it actually looked like a bag of tiny shards of bones and they burst into tears. What. The. Heck.
Three times this week, (white) adults stopped my 9yo twins to ask why they are w/their 5yo sister. I know adoptive families are a small part of the population, but can’t help but wonder if a white tween was walking with a Black 5yo if there would be the same level of “concern.”
5: “Wow! I have two Target cards from my birthday! I wonder what I can get!”
“Maybe a really cool backpack to start kindergarten?!”
“No offense mom but I feel like a backpack is from mom money.”
Parents, one piece of advice:
Whatever you do, don’t ask your kids what they’re most excited to get for Christmas. Don’t do it — not this late in the game, trust me.
11/10 chance it’s something they’ve literally never mentioned.
Spend an hour in my daughter’s kindergarten class today where I watched the teachers tie shoes, clean up throw up, use Google translate to help students in multiple languages, settle disputes, and wipe tears. All with smiles on their faces.
Pay. Teachers. More.
Every time we go to a cookout or potluck with kids present, I make a crockpot full of buttered bow tie pasta and bring cheap shakey cheese. Easiest thing ever.
It is *always* gone.
My internal thoughts: “Ugh, is the storm drain clogged? I hope my kids don’t jump in that in their school shoes. It’s going to be a sheet of ice when it snows tomorrow…”
My 5-year-old’s words: “Wow, mom. You can see the entire world looking up in that puddle.”
A neighbor called the cops on my children for having a water balloon fight at 8:30pm on a summer evening with some other neighborhood kids.
Prob the same type of person who says “Kids don’t play outside anymore, what is the world coming to??”
Boomer neighbors on NextDoor: “Kids never go outside and play anymore! The parks and alleys are empty!”
Boomer neighbors IRL: “How dare neighborhood children play a game of basketball outside on a summer evening at a nice normal volume! Go inside!”
5yo had a serious talk with me, pulled me aside and everything.
She had to tell me that I put on too many Christmas movies and leave no time for shows like Rugrats anymore — and it has to stop.
I’m not sure I drank 5 glasses of water my whole childhood but I’m sitting here watching my 4yo drink LaCroix with frozen strawberries out of a tiny wine goblet while she watches cartoons.
My 8yo knows what a period is, but just asked me for the basic run down. She went to bed shell shocked. “One week a month for almost all of my life? That can’t be true.”
😒
Gonna blow up Facebook fighting with parents in a group who lock up visiting kids’ phones because they don’t allow tech.
My kid has a phone so he can reach me if need be. Like, for example, if he’s stuck at some weirdo’s house who wants to over control other people’s kids 🙄
Pittsburgh has a buck on the loose that somehow has coated his antlers in Christmas decor. The authorities have said he’s not in distress so let him carry that energy into 2023 and don’t rain on his holiday parade.
4yo is sobbing bc kindergarten will be harder than prek and first grade will be harder than kindy and on and on and, “Every year of life will just get harder.” And I really have no words of advice for her 🤣
Our family is trying to deduce who ate a large portion of cake without the rest of the family being aware.
One of my children: “Let’s think of who would be the most likely to act like that, which is me, except I didn’t this time.”
Sus, as the kids say.
Today I lost my entire temper on my kids at the water park. Later, I let them get biggg ice creams for turning it around and having a great day. My 5yo just told me it was the best day of her life.
Give yourselves grace, parents. They mess up, so do we. And it’s all okay.
Today I turn 40. Since my kids can’t use the stove or knives without an adult, they microwaved ramen, brought me a whole apple, and reheated the old coffee in the coffee pot. This is a five-star meal to me. Best breakfast I’ve ever had. ❤️
I’ve been using teens I trust to fill in gaps in childcare. Nobody comments when it’s a teen girl but *everyone* has an opinion when, like today, it’s a boy. Even from some liberal friends.
Do we not want to raise men who are better partners and fathers? He’s fully capable.
Picked my oldest up from school an hour early, unplanned, with McDonald’s, because the video game he wanted for his birthday next week dropped today and I spent all morning downloading it and I couldn’t wait.
He better put me in the *nicest* nursing home someday.
Ever since Facebook released the “anonymous” post feature in groups the posts have become increasingly unhinged and/or heartbreaking. So. Many. Women. Need a divorce.
@epicurina
This is a myth created by men to give women more domestic labor. Multitasking is not gendered. Def watch
@eve_rodsky
documentary on Netflix or read her book!
@clhubes
I have been told this before at goodwill and I’m like — there’s only so many prices this target brand tee shirt could be, just choose the highest one, I can handle it I promise. Why do they do this??
Pediatrician: “If it’s okay, with your permission, I usually take a peek in the underwear area.”
My child: “That would be fine, except I’m not wearing any.”
Those without babies any longer, remember the vague haze of terribleness where we just groggily would say “Maybe it’s teething?” for months on end because we aren’t allowed to say “Maybe my baby’s just an asshole.”
Just found out my childhood BULLY is buying the house I GREW UP IN that my grandfather BUILT and all I have to say is this:
Pap-pap, haunt that house so hard.
Just had a meltdown about how the more I work, the more we need to outsource (grocery delivery, cleaning service, etc) so then I need to work more and it.never.stops. Anyone with me???
Lol my 6th grader has to call his best friend’s grandma’s landline and is very unsure what to do if someone besides his friend answers.
YES YOU HAVE TO MAKE SMALL TALK WITH THEM SON.
5 told me that a dog’s job is to sleep and play and snuggle, so before she left for school today she hugged our dog and said:
“Bye Charlie! Have a good day working from home today!”
We don’t deserve kids. 🥹
Was pretty pleased my 6th grader took a break from hiding in his room gaming w/friends to bike 6 blocks to the library and meet friends.
“So what did you do there?!” I asked eagerly.
“There’s 3 computers in a row so we can all play at once.”
At least he biked 12 blocks?
@aubreyhirsch
@shaindelr
Having boy girl twins was really eye opening. Yes, I can buy them clothes from every section but the fact that they were the same weight and height but in “girl” sizes my daughter needed two sizes bigger than “boy” sizes really is a part of anti-fat bias and body shaming.
Told my girls this morning Taylor announced a new album.
They asked what an album was.
I tried to explain, like a CD of new songs. They looked puzzled; we only use CD’s for craft projects now.
Finally: “In April Alexa will have Taylor songs you have never heard.”
“Yay!”
In the last week, four moms have apologized to me for the state of their homes.
None of their houses even caused me to pause — they are normal, functional, LOVELY, lived-in houses.
Can we stop apologizing for living in our homes?
I can’t remember my kids’ phone numbers no matter how hard I try but I can easily recall the phone number to the Century 21 my mom worked at in the 80’s.
Do our brains just get full?
@SpeedyEmo
Thank you! We work hard to make sure they don’t stand out as the adopted kids with bad hairstyles, bc as a caseworker I saw that too much. My mom watched YouTube to start the locs, but he just went to a loctician for tightening because they are getting so long!!
Romance after nearly 20 years together:
Me, walks down in new dress a friend gave me, on our way to a cookout.
Hubs: “Oh, no. You look gorgeous. Ugh does this mean I have to change?”
@megrichmansea
@pfizer
We’ve been so careful for 20 months. We didn’t see them at all for a year. Now we do outside with masks. We can’t wait to have an indoor play date togehter. They’re scheduled for the second dose the same day and time!
Too many “But not all men…” comments. I get it, dads. My spouse does a pretty great job wrangling the kids too. But sometimes you need to read the room. This absolutely affects mothers more. I don’t have stats but I would bet *anything* on it given my observations.
My mom: “Well you’re 40 now, it’s all down hill from here!”
11yo: “I don’t get that? Downhill is the best part, like sled riding or skiing or when you’re on a bike…”
Perspective ❤️
12, coming out to find me on the hotel balcony: “Hey, mom… can you…”
Me, exhausted: “You walked right past your dad. Did you ask him?”
12: “Yeah! I asked him, “Where’s mom?’”
Wow you guys are wonderful and so few trolls 🤪. The besties pictured here, and
@jillian33353325
is his rockstar mama whose fought like hell for almost two years to keep him safe
I had a minor meltdown today and called my mom crying. She got in her car, drove 45 min to take my kids to McDonald’s, and folded and put away all my laundry. She then hugged me and let me cry it all out. I am the kind of mom I am because of the kind of mom I’ve got.
Just had to pick my 8yo up from the office because her shorts were too short, so at least I can teach her early the world will constantly police her body?
If you gave your kids a great Christmas morning and their response was less than appreciative, just remember when little kids get overwhelmed they often shut down or have outbursts.
It’s not about the gift, and doesn’t mean they’re not appreciate. Give it a few hours (or days)
My child had a stroke at birth, and, like
@JohnFetterman
, has auditory processing disorder. It means so much to be able to show my kid — confident and achieving his goals while facing similar hurdles.
#FettermanForSenate
@MitchellCo82872
That’s fine if that’s the choice for your family. You don’t get to make that choice for another family. My kids have locked down smart phones. There are plenty of tools and parental software out there.
@kravmagaqueen
We had the option on the form for group or singular and did singular. This was all my husband though, who took her. I have to admit I am thrifty and would prob have chosen group 😬
Folks, you need to understand that this is big-family bingo. ALL FOUR took gorgeous smiling photos? No one has a giant bruise from the playground or a scowl?
I don’t know what this sorcery is but I’ll take it.
@JulianNorwich1
They just stopped by and told the kids keep it down a little bc it was getting late, thankfully. Calling the cops on 4 Black kids in America could’ve gone very differently.
Do you ever just think, “This house is too messy and cluttered, I just wanna get a new one and start fresh.” or just me?
Like when you switch to a new purse there’s always some crap in the old one you don’t really need. I bet houses would kinda be like that.
We appreciated the thought of COURSE. Families are so sweet. But if you’re wondering what to get them and haven’t yet- gift cards for places that sell lots of things, like Target.
If your buried in diapers and not sleeping right now, I’m sitting in a parking lot sharing mozzarella sticks with my 9yo while I walk her through the musical history of Britney Spears. Hang tight. It gets so much better.
@wanderlustwlee
Yes! I have twins also (tho in this tweet I am talking about one of my twins and one of my other kids.) One twin is adventurous, one is a pretty regular eater. Will try new things but gravitates towards kid classics. My youngest is on a raw vegetarian diet. My oldest is picky.
My twins had a teacher they really did not connect with last year, who did not understand neurodivergence. It was a tough year.
I cannot explain the healing power for all of us this year with two teachers who *see them* fully. Mind-blowing. They are different kids.
@ScientologyDad
@AymieJoi
Right but it sounds like instead of being supportive of a broader societal issue you’re kinda just trying to back-pat yourself, idk. I mean my husband is also great at stepping up when he is home but he fully knows this tweet is largely true and isn’t trying to be like “But…”
Literally cannot believe someone would question the well-being of my kids because they went to a pride parade when I literally have to send them into a public school in America every day and hope there’s not gun violence.