Max Garcia Davison
@MaxGDavison
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Writer (Simpsons Comics, the Top Gun and Entourage pieces in McSweeneys). Occasional Jeopardy contestant. Still wondering what happened to the Oneders.
Los Angeles
Joined February 2011
Doctor says, "Treatment is simple: Read comic books. Laugh. That'll pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But Doctor, I write comics."
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There have been some great articles about the return of the shutdown cornerback. Excellent press coverage.
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My church didn’t have any angel iconography at the baptism. They used a Sans-Seraph font.
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Thank god Paramount decided to make a sequel to the Robbie Williams biopic.
They thought he was family. Watch the official trailer for Primate now. Only in theatres January 9.
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The perfect voice for the Cowardly Lion in Wicked? “Ain’t it the truth. Ain’t it the truth. That is because truth as a concept is fickle and amorphous. In the absence of objectivity our only guide is this road of yellow bricks. Let us follow it, Dorothy.”
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Heat 2 could be a three hour diner scene where two characters discuss just how awesome the events of the first movie were and every man I know would see it opening weekend.
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-I’m in an amazing play, Liz. It’s called “Oh, Mary.” I play Mary Todd. She wants to be a performer so Mary’s Husband gets her acting lessons. -You mean Abe Lincoln? -No, Liz. The character is called “Mary’s Husband.”
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Ummmm...okay then. Let's be friends instead and not do this. We play for the same team. I'd genuinely love to hang with you. We see like a natural fit. Right? We complement one another. Why do this?
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snell’s cheat sheet card is just a list of all the hitters with “fuck this guy” next to their names
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WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! 🤯 THE BRONSONS HAVE TURNED ON SETH ROLLINS! THE VISION IS NOW WITHOUT THEIR VISIONARY.
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My soul is not prepared for the combined retirements of Kershaw and Cena.
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The MLB extra innings format has given us tonight’s instant classic game, but we still need a rule change that allows Josh Allen to get the ball back.
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Aleister Black hits Damian Priest with a fireball after Zelina Vega tried to help Black.
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The Smashing Machine was The Rock’s box office cheat meal.
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Throwing Treinen in the ninth? Roki mistake from Roberts.
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An Australian Street Fight is one where the blood goes down the drain counter clockwise.
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I told a friend that I would “Mapquest the directions” and it occurred to me that I am one of the last people who will use that word as a verb, if at all.
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The Smashing Machine definitely made me understand just how long Springsteen’s Jungleland really is.
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[pitch bounces past home plate and to the backstop] ME: Really smart take right there by the batter.
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