Martin Angolo
@MartinAngolo
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Comedian, writer and heavy drinker. Buy tickets for my new show Idiot Wind now. 2024 Edinburgh Fringe and Irish tour dates on sale
Dublin City, Ireland
Joined November 2018
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Austria gave me these terrible pints of Guinness. These are probably the worst thing an Austrian has ever done
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Amsterdam Guinness, very disappointing... I had 8 pints
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People keep asking me about my experience of racism in Ireland and I have to say I've seen it evolve. For example, the last time I did a gig in Limerick someone told me to fuck off back home to Dublin
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First Gravediggers pint... Better than an Amsterdam Guinness anyway
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American born Joe Biden says he's Irish and gets praised by Irish people on twitter
Irish born me gets asked where I'm from, I say I'm Irish and I get the fucking Spanish inquisition
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I've spent years as a comedian trying to write jokes to make people applaud me when I could've saved time and just dropped loads of pints in a busy pub
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I never understood this about the Irish language...
People have been down on the Irish language lately and I've seen people defending it so here's a clip from a show I did last year in Irish
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My bus driver isn't letting people on who aren't wearing masks while he isn't wearing one himself. It's like Bono calling you a dick for wearing sunglasses indoors
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Just got asked for ID while buying alcohol in the shop and didn't have any so I pulled my mask down and the woman behind the counter looked shocked and said "what was I thinking!" I now need to buy more alcohol to cope
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After everything that's come out this weekend I'd like to say that I fully support all of the brave women telling their stories about Irish comedy.
There's a lot of sleaze at every level of this business and the only people worth respecting are those who want to see an end to it
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Ireland has the highest rate of Covid in the world. We also have the highest rate of influencers per capita. So not only do we have the biggest spreading disease on the planet we also have a lot of the coronavirus as well
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Kate Moss saved my life once. 7 guys were kicking the shit out of me and after a few minutes I'll never forget Kate said "okay lads that's enough"
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Friends and family just sat me down and told me I have a "substantial meal" problem
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A word of advice, if you're going to tag me in your "people of colour that you should be following" type posts, at the very least make sure you're following me otherwise it looks like you just went "uh, there's one"
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I've always said the most important thing to me in comedy is that I always keep my dignity
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I hope someday you can be as happy as I am in this photo
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Doing some Christmas shopping in a busy Argos and on the way out someone used a racial slur against me. In this day and age I can't believe I'm still being subjected to Christmas shopping in Argos
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If you thought Trump's Twitter was bad just wait until you see his OnlyFans account
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A lot of my female friends get DM's from creepy men telling them they're attractive. My DM's are mostly overweight men asking me where they can get jackets in my size
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I'm sick of seeing musicians giving their opinions on covid. At this point I'd rather see a top covid scientist attempt to play Wonderwall
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Burger King just cancelled my deliveroo order. I don't want to compare myself to Megan Markle but I'll just say now I know how it feels to be let down by a royal institution
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Got a pizza and once again it came with a model outdoor garden table. It's been 20 years of ordering pizza and I'm yet to get a chair
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I've been the victim of a hate crime. Someone put my Guinness in a Moretti glass
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I'm going to try start a new trend of decent London Guinness. This pint last night from the London Irish centre was good but after 3 I turned into a prick. Overall 8/10
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Delighted to announce my upcoming gigs for the next year
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Today's forecast is Brunchy with a heavy chance of me having a 2nd Brunch
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Changed my Tinder bio to "This is the only way you'll be able to afford a house in Dublin"
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Really enjoyed the last 3 nights of shows in Bray, Limerick and Galway. Thanks to everyone for coming out and supporting. I'm going to have a Brunch and a long nap
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Congratulations to
@TheTryChannel
for getting over 1 million subscribers on YouTube. I know you couldn't have done it without me so you're welcome
WE'VE ONLY GONE AND DONE IT, LADS!! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 💙💜
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Thank you San Diego, you were great. Off to Los Angeles now to take over Hollywood
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My mam just text me saying she heard about what happened to Chris Rock and that I should be careful. I had to break it to her that I don't think Will Smith is coming to any of my shows
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Would anyone like to join our giggles and laughter club?
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If you're in Ireland and staying in tonight I'll be on the
#latelate
for the first time.
Graham Norton has Mark Ruffalo and Emma Stone on so RTE have me on to win some ratings back
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About to do an exclusive interview with Piers Morgan. On an unrelated note is there a limit to the amount of times you can say the word "cunt" on TV?
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As you can see I'm absolutely delighted to be in San Francisco
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I just made a hip hop playlist without any overweight rappers.
No Biggie
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The English might be getting closer to fully opening their pubs but one thing they'll never know is the joy of eating a Brunch ice-cream in the sun
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Thanks everyone for the nice feedback on The Deirdre O'Kane Show and welcome to the new followers, I hope you enjoy very occasional jokes from a man with a hangover. I'm now off to London to carry on with my plan of a global comedy takeover
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Seeing a lot of people my age complain about kids on the streets practicing their dance moves for tik tok and saying it's a waste of time as if we were any better. When I was young we'd practice canal drinking and setting fire to things
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I made a video of highlights from my gigs that went ahead in America last week, here's one of those highlights. Full versions on my Facebook and YouTube
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First gig in front of real people tonight, dusting off this old setlist, hope it's all still relevant
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First Brunch photo of the tour. Kilkenny show starting soon (I haven't written any jokes yet)
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There's a drunk man at the back of the bus with an open can of beer, shouting at everyone close to him BUT he's still wearing a mask. Nature is healing
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Bit of fun with the airport security in Chicago as they had to pat my arms down and the guy asks "any bombs?" with a big grin, so I say "no just my guns". Oh how we laughed and the cavity search I received was very thorough
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Just landed in San Francisco and am delighted to be here
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Celebrating St. Patrick's day in America with some of the worst Guinness I've ever had in my life
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It's important to spare a thought for the people without families who are lonely this year but also spare a thought for those who are with their families and would rather be alone
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A reminder that we've always been very pro Brazilians in Dublin
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2020 has made me grateful for my thousands of followers who give me dozens of likes on my posts. You don't need to engage just knowing you're watching me like an elaborate Stasi operation keeps me humble
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Was charged €8.30 for a Guinness in town over the weekend and the smile the barman had as he handed it over to me made me think that I'm capable of punching a stranger
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Pondering where I should bring my stand up show to in the new year. Any suggestions? If there's even a hint of interest then I'll probably come to your town
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Can't believe there's still racism in the world after all those people shared black screens on Instagram. If that didn't end it I don't know what will
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Biden reminds me of every older American with Irish heritage I've ever met, so proud of where they came from but mispronouncing just enough Irish words for me to hate him
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I always feel closer to my ancestors whenever I gig in Northern Ireland
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Watching Irish people on here calling Americans stupid for still voting for Trump after everything he's done and can't help thinking about Ireland's track record of voting for Fianna Fail/Fine Gael. We're all on our sinking ships
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Since lockdown has eased I've noticed more and more strangers are happy to just start chatting to me. This needs to stop immediately
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I'm worried about my drinking, I've gotten to the point where if I see a beautiful pale woman in a black dress all I think is "I'd love a Guinness"
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Thanks to the drunk guy who came up to me at All Together Now and told me that he loved my comedy and that he follows me on everything and before walking away he double checked that I was in fact 'Black Paddy'... Anyways I told him I was before I punched him
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Recording a podcast in our winter coats so you know it must be good
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Trying to find a way to explain to Americans that when I'm taking the piss out of them during a conversation it's not that I'm being rude it's just how Irish people show love
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