Dad Lesson #99: I try not to worry about my kid giving me grief for not understand all the slang he uses. Instead, I just have a complete conversation with my wife with only the word "Dude" in different inflections. HE is very confused now. #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #98: On my Birthday, my son asked how old I was. When I told him, his reply was, "Wow! You're really old." You are never as old as your kids see you as. #DadLessons

Make his finest asset yours Follow & Repost with #XboxCheekyControllerSweepstakes for a chance to win a custom Xbox Series X console & 2 Cheeky Controllers designed by Deadpool.‌ Ages 18+. Ends 8/11/24. Rules: https://t.co/G41n6ykYIU @Marvel Studios' Deadpool and Wolverine, in

Dad Lesson #97: Our son just described gum as a "fidget toy for your mouth" I've never heard of a better description for gum in my life. #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #96: For all the times you children put you into a stressed state, just remember that you did the same to your parents. Maybe you owe them an apology and a thank you for all they did. They can never have too many of those. #DadLessons

#WhereIRoot #MontanaMarinersFan A Montana boy enjoying his first Mariners Game on King Felix Hall of Fame Night.

Dad Lesson #95: Sometimes if you find yourself needing a break from parenting, just get the whole family to play hide and go seek. When it's your turn to hide. Just leave. #DadLessons

Finally finished the playset for the kiddo. #pirate #pirateship #playset #diy

First day of Kindergarten Disney Style. #firstdayofschool #FirstDayPhotoChallenge #DisneyPhoto

Sometimes you really need to get out of your head for a few hours but are very broke. Then @LOTRonPrime and @Cinemark come in with "We got ya!" #TheRingsOfPower Special Fan Screening

Dad Lesson #94: Never let your guard down fellow dads. Even at 5, your child will can get so excited to see you, they will come running to give you a hug with arms flailing. You won't realize the danger until it's too late and you have been racked by a full fist. #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #93: Sometimes you will find yourself finishing that cartoon or movie your child has watched 47 times but never finished just so you know how it ends. #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #92: Sometimes, even without knowing the social current events, your kiddo will say the perfect thing. Today our son said "Captain Jack Sparrow needs to get back on his ship." #JonnyDepp #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #91: When you send you 5 year old to the back of the camper with the hose, be sure they can hear you when you say you are turning on the water.... Or else they get a cold shower.

Dad Lesson #90: Some days your son will allow you to only talk like a pirate the whole day. Don't worry, you can be as excited as him to do it. Side Note: After a few hours, your voice will get scratchy and it adds to the realism. #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #89: Yes, you will pay more in shipping than for the random old school toy you had to find on eBay because your child lost theirs and you can't get it on Amazon, and it is the most important thing in their life. Beginners Tip: Order at least two #DadLessons

Dad Lesson #88: Even a 5 year old can ask questions that involve some deep thought. "Does it hurt when Lightning McQueen blows a tire?" #DadLessons

Dad Lesson №87: Just because your kiddo asks you "why?" 447 times a day it's not polite to give adults the look of annoyance when they ask you a why question. #DadLessons

Show of hands. Whom else bribed their toddler with a trip to @Disneyland if they started to poop in the potty? BTW, it worked.

Family night to drive around and look at Christmas Lights. First stop of course is to @Cinemark for a hot, fresh, buttered Pack-a-Pop to snack on while driving.