Lumrah Lanyard (LL)
@LumrahL
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Satire Anonymous Account on workplace Culture | Home to Malaysia's Most Brutal Resume Course + ChatGPT Demo (eh) (Purchase the Course Below) 👇
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Joined December 2020
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Pinned Tweet
"LL should I quit my job?"
That's the single common question I get almost every day.
The truth is, it's simple but not an easy answer
Here's one thing I've learned:
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Can everyone list all companies in Malaysia that offer work from home permanently?
Compiling a list if possible.
Yang acah flexible arrangement tapi semua boss paksa dtg office tak yah
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Tell me something you want to write on your resume and I'll translate it to LinkedIn language
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With SPM results out today, can we share some stories of how "not doing so well" in exams is not "game over" in life?
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"Sorry kacau your weekend"
Then proceeds to kacau weekend.
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Why do parcel deliveries only arrive during your important meetings, nap time or while you're in the toilet.
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OK everyone,
It's work tomorrow. Yes.
So now is a good time to remind yourself why you love your job
Here are 6 reasons why you must be excited about work tomorrow
(Or at least fake it)
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Dear all,
Clock in
Do a good job
Clock out
There is life beyond work
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Dear all,
Eating alone doesn't mean I'm lonely or "kesian"
It just means I love my me time.
Normalize eating alone.
TQ
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If your boss is away today, and you're working:
I, therefore, declare today a national Choose Yourself day.
Yes, do the bare minimum. Enjoy the "day off"
But don't forget the art of "look like busy"
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Brutal truth no one tells you:
If you're given 3 hours to do something and you can complete it in one hour, don't submit it immediately and hope your efficiency will get noticed.
You'll end up getting more work and more chances to screw up, which will be used against you
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Last week, I attended an event.
The speaker said, "You shouldn't job hop, stay in one company, money will come eventually."
For some reason, I disagree.
The best way to increase your salary is to find a new job that pays more.
Normalize job hopping for self-growth
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Dear uni students, please appreciate your Sundays.
Once you enter the lanyard life, Sundays are never the same.
By the power vested in me,
I hereby declare today Smonday.
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Tell me signs of burnouts that you personally experienced
Everyone else, pay attention
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I met someone who was promoted from intern to CEO within 10 years. His secret of success includes:
1. Wake up at 5AM
2. Gratitude journal
3. Run marathons
4. Father owns the company
Eh.
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Tell me an HR term, and I'll tell you what it really means
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Translation :
"Gentle reminder" = wei bodo,ko baca email x?
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Dear Corporate Malaysia,
Give your employees leave if they decide to volunteer to help with the banjir
Barulah contribute to the community for real bukan sekadar tagline kat dalam PowerPoint je
Eh.
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I don't know why people think crying is a sign of weakness.
I've cried. The ugly kind.
Sitting on the toilet, with tears and hingus meleleh.
Once it was over, I walked out and continued with the meeting.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
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Dear Corporate Malaysia,
Once again, it's time to Work From Home.
Adapt. Or give people the option to.
Retweet sampai depa dengar pls.
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Dear all,
Staying late at work
Working over the weekend
Putting aside relationships for work
These are not “flexes”
These are signs you need to choose yourself more
TQ
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In your career, you'll eventually meet people who hurt you
You'll get angry, and want to "hurt" them back
But never forget, that for every action there is an opposite reaction
Your anger towards others might hurt you more than them
So, know when to let go, for your sake
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You've probably heard about the fall in Suria KLCC by now.
Although we don't know for sure what happened.
Lets take this time to remind each other that YOU MATTER.
There are 3k of you, if all you retweet this, we can reach millions, just like that.
#YouMatter
@BefriendersKL
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Work from home is not the same for everybody
Have empathy
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6 ways to say F U in corporate language
(Thread)
🔥🔥👇👇👇🔥🔥🔥
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The problem with Corporate Malaysia:
1. Those who should be fired, is promoted
2. Those who should be promoted, are fired.
Pastu kau complain pasal talent issue.
Repeat sampai retire.
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LL ,
How can I say formally “you suck” to my management in my resignation letter?
👇👇👇
“I’ve come to the conclusion that my values and your culture do not align to help me be a better version of myself.”
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It’s not your job to be everything to everyone
Unless you're a toilet bowl and you have to deal with everyone's shit.
If not, remember that you're not a toilet bowl.
Self-care is important.
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Today is Failure Friday!
We put unrealistic expectation on ourselves because we only hear success stories
Lets change that!
Tell me a time you've failed.
I'll go first:
It took me more than 2 years to land my dream job after getting rejected by 70++ companies.
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Today I was talking to some HR and I was told:
"We don't do counter offers because we want loyalty"
Me: Bagus lah, because the cost of searching, processing, hiring, and training a new employee is cheaper than just paying your current employees better kan?
Gituhhh
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Why is salary information a secret?
Wouldn't you want to know if other people are doing the exact same job and earning more than you?
Thoughts?
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Things I can't brain:
Dah tahu how to work from home, and then suruh team masuk office, only to work virtually with team members who are online?
How about you work your old thinking into retirement?
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Dear all,
Clocking out ON TIME doesn't mean:
❌ You're lazy
❌ Bad employee
❌ Ungrateful
It simply means:
✅ I've done my work and my life is bigger than work
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LinkedIn Syndrome
Reality: I create PowerPoint slides based on data given by the finance team
On Linkedin: I currently orchestrate a data-driven decision-making process by utilizing visual designs and data analysis techniques to drive decisions that contribute 100Mil to Asia
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If you made a mistake at work, admit it and apologize, and learn from it.
Even after doing that, if people give you a hard time - then you really need to consider whether you're in the right place.
You can tell a lot about a culture based on how mistakes are looked at.
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Dear all,
Your job is just a small part of your life
An important part, but still a smart part
There are bigger things out there, don't lose focus.
LL089
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Depa balik 5.30 sharp, corporate Malaysia what's your excuse?
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Work so hard that you're really good at what you do
You can be fired.
You can be given bad appraisals
You can be blocked from moving to a different role
But the ONE thing no one can ever take away from you is your skill.
So, be really good at what you do.
Be outstanding.
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Tomorrow many of you will return back to work.
I want to take this chance to say:
It's okay to fake it.
It's okay to fake liking small talks
It's okay to fake excitement for PowerPoint
Fake it till the next public holiday
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Someone dm-ed me and I'm really angry.
Team: "Boss, I'm sorry I tested positive for COVID"
Boss responds with the emoji "😤"
eh hello, please go test your EQ now because I'm sure it's negative.
Please have empathy. There are people with feelings, not objects.
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No matter what your company tagline is
Remember,
All job is transactional
You’re replaceable
Choose yourself
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Okay uols, kita bukan dinosaur, kita embrace technology, gituhhh so here is a how-to guide on Chat GPT and your job search
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Today I learned:
"Quiet promotion" = when you get more responsibility and job at work but no increase in salary or title
Adding to my LinkedIn now
Eh...
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Every single person that enters your life is a teacher.
Some teach through love, some through pain.
Accept the lesson, embrace the learning.
Unless that person is someone who assigns you work at 7pm on Friday.
That person is the devil
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Malaysia's anger level summarized
Drawing not to scale.
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LinkedIn Syndrome
Reality: I create PowerPoint slides based on data given by the finance team
On Linkedin: I currently orchestrate a data-driven decision-making process by utilizing visual designs and data analysis techniques to drive decisions that contribute 100Mil to Asia
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Shorter retail hours won't encourage people to eat early or eat less.
We are malaysians, ain't nobody gonna mess with our eating habits.
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I once met someone who worked at Menara Jagung.
For 30 years of her life, she worked at the same company, in the same role, on the same floor, and in the same department.
I asked her looking back what did she learn?
Here are 3 things she shared
👇👇👇👇👇👇
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It's just a job.
It's not your life
It's not your identity
It's not your self worth
It's not your everything.
It's just A JOB.
Use it, don't be used by it.
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Always attack the logic, not the person...unless the person is someone who does meetings during lunch time.
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Many of you have been asking me why I quit my job and moved on to a tech company, so I wanted to share the 6 things you should know about quitting
💥💥💥🔥🔥💥💥💥
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“Boss I’m taking 3 days off”
“Why? What reason?”
“Personal reason boss”
“What personal reason?”
Eh hello, maybe you’re the reason
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Growth is painful
Change is painful
But nothing is more painful than being stuck at where you are and not progressing
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Someone DMed today and this is what I heard:
👇mentality:
"If you resign, ramai lagi beratur nak masuk kerja sini"
is why 👇 is happening:
A record number people resigning or taking long breaks due to mental health
What worked 40 years ago, isn't going to work now.
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Tell me something that tests your patience.
I'll go first: layers of approval for something simple
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Summarize your job in one word:
I'll go first: slides
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With SPM results out today, can we share some stories of how "not doing so well" in exams is not "game over" in life?
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Dear all,
Burnout culture is real and rampant.
If you feel consistently overwhelmed, overworked, and stressed with excessive pressure, then you're probably in an environment that promotes burnout.
You're not letting anyone down by switching off
Choose Yourself
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I overheard this conversation yesterday:
"Kau dah buat kerja awal, kau jangan hantar terus, email malam-malam sikit, baru lah nampak visible"
Be careful what you wish for. If you punish people for "not being visible" then that's what you get.
Visibility over productivity.
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"Beb, Kena balik office soon"
"Alamak, canner nak hilang 10kg in 10 days?"
"Beli beg mahal je beb, nanti orang focus kat beg"
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Sometimes you give so much of yourself to work
That you forget that at the end of the day
You're just another employee
You're just as replaceable
So always choose yourself
Because you'll always have yourself
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Dear all,
Truth is, no one wants to be a bad performer. People have invested time and energy to get to where they are.
Chances are they either need help, or they need to be transitioned into a role that fits.
Have empathy.
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To stay or leave your current job?
Putting aside pay, progress, promotion, work , role, location and etc
One factor often overlooked is: how much skin in the game does your boss have in your career development?
Here are 6 signs your boss is invested in you
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Dear all,
If something happens to you, your company will still survive and move on.
Don't sacrifice your health for work.
Choose Yourself.
TQ
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Dear all,
I just want to take this moment to tell you that:
YOU deserve to work in a place that VALUES you.
Never settle.
You're not a doormat. You're a trophy.
You generate value. You move things.
You are valuable.
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People underestimate the fresh grads all the time.
If anything, fresh grads are extremely motivated and hardworking
So let's give them the right support to fly high!
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I want to work from home
That's it, that's the tweet.
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Many of you have been asking me about how to prepare for year-end appraisal conversations.
Here are 6 things you can do to market yourself well:
A thread
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Yes, everyone is replaceable - but at what cost?
Today I had an interesting conversation with someone. He shared his story with me:
"I remember feeling so undervalued at my last job. I put in countless hours of hard work, took on extra responsibilities, and did everything I
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Dear all,
If you’re unhappy with working conditions, minimum wage, employment protection, labor benefits, etc
Vote.
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