"Instead of libraries everyone should just get a Kindle."."Great idea! And instead of roads everyone should just get a bucket of asphalt.".

Join millions who have switched to Grok.

I feel like I should apologize to my professional colleagues for the climate of legislative and cultural hostility that has befallen libraries. When I wished on that monkey's paw that people would stop ignoring and being indifferent to our work this wasn't what I had in mind.

"Hi, my group is supposed to be meeting at this library, do you know what room they're in?"."Let me check. What's the name of the group?"."The Explorers Club."."I mean I could just tell you but would that get you kicked out?".

A.I. art and video can be hard to distinguish from human-created content. But if they ever try to replace me at the reference desk with A.I. you'll be able to tell the difference through subtle clues, namely the way it's tireless and good-humored.

"Was the library closed yesterday?"."Yes, for the 249th birthday celebration."."Wow, the country is 249 years old?"."Yes, but I'm talking about the dustbunny on the shelf back in the Dewey 800s.".

"All we want is for the library to hide any materials that include LGBTQ+ content of any kind."."Well that's obviously problematic. Maybe we can explore a compromise."."That is the compromise. What we'd really prefer is for that content not to exist at all.".

If consuming audiobooks isn't reading then stop calling them books amiright.

Let the record show that the hardworking #saturdaylibrarian will accept your respect and welcome your esteem but honestly would prefer funding.

"Listen, it's not that we mind public libraries; we just don't like the people using them or the people working there or the materials on their shelves. Everything else is fine.".

‘Tis the time of year when the temperature control in the library building notches down a setting, from Elsa to Snow Miser.

"Hi, I'd like your help with plotting a multi-state car trip. "."Okay, we can find resources that should help. "."Wait I'm not finished. --And at the same time my two young children want to talk to you nonstop about what if dinosaurs fought Pokemon."."Well okay let's do this.".

There are lots of repeat questions I expected to get at the reference desk as a librarian, but the prevalence of "Can I gift you with this bag of nuts/energy drink/snack cake/loose mint/chapstick" always comes as a surprise.

"Do you think a library might be interested in being an archive for my grandmother's notes and papers?"."That depends. Was your grandmother Harry S Truman?".

A kid bounds up to the reference desk and says "Is there anything fun going on at the library today?".I replied "Just all the usual fun that goes on here every day!".The kid said "No I mean seriously.".#saturdaylibrarian.

"Why was the library closed yesterday for something that nobody knows what it is?"."It's easy to find out what Juneteenth is."."I would have asked the library but you were closed."."I'll allow your sick burn but only because it's predicated on the importance of library services.".

Library patron just now left the men’s room groaning “Ohhhhhh that feels better” so I’m just taping up the “Restroom Out of Service” sign now.

"What's this summer reading thing? You get prizes?"."Yes, if you participate and complete the challenge the library gives you prizes."."What kind of prizes? Money?"."Not money."."I'd do it if it were money."."I'll pass your suggestion along to the committee.".

Hoping to ease slowly into the work week, I reach to answer the ringing phone. "Thanks for calling the library."."Hello, I'd like to request assorted specific seasons from long-running British and Australian TV series."."Okay, which TV series?"."All of them. Okay, number one. ".

I hear there's a lot of free speech activity going on today. Schedules being what they are, of course, the #saturdaylibrarian isn't available to protest, except by, y'know, being a librarian.

Management encourages us to focus on proposing solutions instead of complaining about problems. But that's just blatantly neglecting my chief skill set.