Michael Longfellow
@Longfellowww
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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Stepson
New York, USA
Joined February 2015
wrote this with @streetseidell @JimmyFowlie and Allie Leviton
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If I'm struggling to put my bag up and a stronger/buffer man gets outta their seat and helps me I wont be normal again for a month
Duffy: If we can help someone as they are getting on the aircraft that might need some help putting their bag in the overhead bin and you’re a little stronger/buffer, you’ve been lifting, stand up and offer to grab that bag and put it up for someone who is having a difficult
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Happy to pay it my good man. In fact, here's $50
Travelers going through airport security checkpoints without a REAL ID or passport will face a $45 fee starting Feb. 1, the Transportation Security Administration announced Monday. Read more: https://t.co/f141xebiie
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U ever take ur socks with ur toes? Talkin bout laying on ur bed like that lady in Titanic, getting that sock between ur big toe and not famous toe next to it, just fuckin peeling that mfer off like a snake shedding skin like a snake doing a glow up. You dont shit about me dude
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You wanna open your podcast talking about your adorable new puppy? Not on my watch.
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No response. No denial
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Absolute nuker from mom and sister gotta give respect 🙏
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took the mom and sister golfing today. never again.
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guy that just learned manners but doesnt get them yet but is trying: "Hey im going to the bathroom you guys need anything?"
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1st Guy: "Restroom? There's a toilet in there, I think I'll rest somewhere else....are you fucking with me dude? My wife fucking dies. Shes DEAD Jacob, and you're fucking with me? Jacob: Bro no, thats just what its cal- 1st Guy: No FUCK YOU dude FUCK YOU
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Tickets for Sacramento and San Jose available in bio!
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Im doing a long set in NYC at @JoesPub tonight at 7pm https://t.co/Z5WlR3JVhy
publictheater.org
Michael Longfellow is a cast member on Saturday Night Live!
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traumatize a fandom with one image
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time to bring back the best @Longfellowww video. i’ve had this saved for 4 years and it’s time
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What about a guy that's like "excuse me I have to pee" but comes back 2 seconds later and goes "it was just gas!"
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