𝕃𝕍𝕆
@LittleVodkaOwl
Followers
29,599
Following
1,843
Media
10,976
Statuses
56,164
824 years old & thriving | My cat is plotting your murder |
The Forest🌲
Joined April 2017
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Pinned Tweet
Just think, at minimum, one of your followers is a serial killer.
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Who the fuck decided to call it "emotional baggage", instead of "griefcase"?
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I tire easily at the simplest of tasks these days but refuse to let my body speed up the decaying process. Trying to learn the diagnosis doesn't define me. Cancer can kiss my adorable ass.
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I just accidentally said "love you" instead of "thank you" to the barista when she handed me the coffee.... so I'm basically in a new relationship. But she's cute and makes stellar coffee so basically a win/win.
Also, I can never return to this coffee shop. 😬💀🤣
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I'd like to thank these little blue straps for making it through WaterWorld day....
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I assume everyone stands around naked after a shower, reading tweets and drinking coffee.
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The drive from my home to the main roads is magical this morning.
#Colorado
#COWX
#ForestLiving
#Snow
#MyCurrentView
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May head to the bar, claim a stool for the evening, and sip booze all alone.
Or
May get into pj's, pop some popcorn, and watch X-Files while snuggling the cat.
Undecided.....
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I assume EVERYONE breaks into an air drum solo when "In The Air Tonight" by Phil Collins comes on the radio.
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Today, I went shopping for a "mom swimsuit", thinking I would find a cute one piece for vacation. I'm getting older, trying to shop for my age or hide parts of me that are chonky. But my boobs just don't always cooperate with the vision.... 😬😅💀
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I've been told my nipples could stop wars.
This is the type of shit that keeps me up at night.....with great power comes great responsibility.
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Sobering moment, explaining what cancer means to a 6yr old, how it will change what I'm capable of doing daily, etc. Watching her little eyes fill up w/ tears, as she reaches for my hand & says, "You're the best mommy I could of ever asked for, we will get through this together".
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Tonight, I sat at the bar & met a Vietnam vet, all alone having a drink, & celebrating his 77th bday. We sat & talked for hours about the 16 countries he visited w/ USAF, wife's passing, new corvette, etc. Incredible human. He's my new favorite & we have beer date next week. 🥰
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Today's my 44th birthday, and if I'm completely honest, each birthday is a bigger accomplishment when battling both lupus & blood cancer. I no longer sweat the small stuff and hold tight the little moments with my kids. It's much easier to say no when needed or walk away from the
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I assume all men over the age of 40 own a recliner that is lined up perfectly for television viewing.
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On a scale from 1 to John Wick, how much do you love your dog? ❤
Let me see those pups....
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My baby boy came down from college to see me this weekend..... 🥰
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JUST ONCE, I would like to order clothing online and the bust size guide measurements work in my favor!
Motherfucking boobs....
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Apparently "All the fucking coffee" is not a proper coffee order at Starbucks.
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Have we tried throwing a Politician into a volcano to appease the virus?
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It's been a shit day.
Posting a photo that I love.
SHARE YOURS BELOW....
(no weirdos)
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I'm fully clothed, and no longer in the swimsuit, yall can simmer the fuck down now! Also, Hi.... 😉🤣
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One of my favorite yoga positions is sitting on the couch with a beer.
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Things I adored as a kid:
1. Garbage pail kids
2. Galaxy II electronic handheld game
3. She-ra and He-man
4. Goonies
5. Barbie and the Rockers
6. Adventures of the Gummi bears
7. Clear light up phone
8. Princess Bride
9. Pound puppies
10. Harry and the Hendersons
#80s
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Pep talk to my swimsuit straps:
Today we venture to a Waterpark....you have ONE job, hold the ladies in place.
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If you don't do this with all of your mushrooms, are you even really spooky?! 😍💀🖤
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Moving forward , I'm only following back people who own dogs and post loving photos of them. I feel like if you own a dog, you are less likely to be a serial killer. It's science.
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