Ash Money Records™️
@LightsPlease___
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Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself. Matthew 5:16 💡• IG: __lightsplease
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I was like “Whitney..?” then it hit me.
Y’all going to JAIL.
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My fiancé just keeps putting her ring in my face as if I’m not the one that bought it lmao
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Furthermore, rap beef is only for those who took Will’s side, tbh.
Rap beef is not for people who were triggered by Will Smith smacking Chris Rock.
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Seeing Kevin Samuels tattoos on my TL got me ready to call my dad just to say thanks for sticking around.
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Imma tell y’all what’s funny.
Trying to be an informed American citizen while running into paywalls on any credible online news source.
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Coach Carter: I need your sons to do the absolute bare minimum academically in order to play basketball on this team.
The entire city of Richmond:
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I love that Jesus’ naps were recorded in scripture. Bruh used to be knocked out on them boats 😂
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This Blair Underwood story is making me crack up bc I know for a fact at least one or two of my exes was side eyeing me for marrying the girl best friend I told them not to worry about 😭😭😭😭
One of my exes actually commented “FINALLY!” under our pic on IG LMFAO she knew!
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Woody always saying we got a friend in him but looks he remembered what a friend we have in Jesus and-
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My wife’s baked rigatoni > whatever I was eating before we got married
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The genders on the TL today coming together to drag The $100 Ajax Queen
That was so disgusting of her lol she definitely stopped the gender wars on here today
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She literally gon start barking halfway through that bottle.
My sister went to the store because she didn’t wanna drink what we had here…came back with this talking bout “the guy said it’s good”😭😭😭😭
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No fee, instant deposit into my account. Zelle is superior.
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Niggas wanna discuss 48 Laws of Power over a Triple Dipper app plate at Chili’s and wonder why they keep striking out. You a weirdo my boy.
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If “don’t get married” is all you hear from your married homies, you need to get around some better men.
Men who are married, are always telling men who ain’t married, to not get married. 🤣🤣
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He literally had his pardon papers dawg…
Who's a character that didn't deserve their fate?
I'll start:
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Brandy is the BEST sibling in the world because I’d be so damn embarrassed by Ray J 😭😭😭😭
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LOL fellas with a girlfriend and a girl best friend I ain’t tryna put y’all out there I’m just telling my own testimony 🙃
And we wasn’t sneaky linking or nothing it was all platonic so I feel no ways 😌
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“Sure! I’ll be glad tell you ALL about the sanctions imposed on Russia because of their invasion of Ukraine…
…as soon as you subscribe for 12.99/month!”
- The NYT probably.
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The girl I wanted half my life really sleeps next to me & calls me fine everyday.
He’s a mighty wonder in my soul, I tell ya.
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Jesus was ALWAYS somewhere sleep lol and rightfully so. I’m sure it was commonplace for people in the hood to be like “aye JC got some miracles for ya boy today?!” only for the disciples to be like “nah homie in there knocked out we was out healing all weekend...”
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I secretly LOVE when the woman I’m with asks for a bite of my food. You better create this moment of intimacy with me. You want me to feed it to you? Here girl gone and take the whole plate with ya ole hungry sexy eating self.
*sent with Invisible Ink*
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Mario I just—
The utter LAMENESS of it all, aside…
You spent almost 2 hrs on the verzus stage talking down on non singing ass niggas in R&B just to turn around and hit us with a TORY LANEZ feature!?!
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So in case anyone missed it, Monday I announced my engagement to my Close Friends story on IG using the theme
#TheLastDance
from the documentary about Jordan’s last days with the Bulls.
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There really is a sermon here in how beautifully Jesus identified with the human experience.
“For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses...”
Hebrews 4:15 NKJV
Take Gethsemane for example...
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Wanna give shorty the sparknotes on Kevin Samuels entire philosophy after you scrunched your face up because she ordered a drink AND an appetizer. Please go to hell.
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Aww man 😕 yeah let’s start putting CCs on movie screens or at least have showings where captions are an option for our deaf friends 🤝🏾
I don’t understand why deaf people should have to choose between having a drink and watching a movie. We are in 2022. All movies should be accessible at this point. Put the CC on the screen so all viewers can enjoy.
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I know Mary had to be looking like this when they told her that her Son wasn’t in that tomb no more
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And just being real… if a man is married and telling you not to do it, that’s one hell of an indication that he’s probably a terrible husband.
Y’all literally talk all day about how much more men benefit from marriage than women so if a man ain’t enjoying his marriage he sucks.
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His flesh was literally sweating blood.
And I truly feel had it not been for the fact that Jesus was just nerved up about the cross, He really would’ve understood that them boys was just tired lol
Look at Jesus.... being human, just like me. Lol
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But when Jesus had to face the hardest thing God asked of Him, His human side rose all the way up 😂 He was trying to strengthen His spirit before going to the cross and His potnas decided to take a nap... the same thing He was known for doing!
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*SIDENOTE: I wanna study to confirm but..... Was Jesus having an anxiety attack in the Garden of Gethsemane? Hmm...*
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Really hate that this is a thing people preach when David literally wrote 100+ chapters of questions to God.
I’m too inquisitive to be satisfied with the “don’t question God” narrative. I’m sorry.
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Jesus being upset with the disciples napping in the garden was righteous indignation for the given circumstances... but it also shows me just how SHOOK his humanity was.
Why did he get THAT MAD at them for napping? I know them prayers were probably long winded! 🤣
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All my married homies were candid about possible struggles but they all landed at the same conclusion; marriage is better than they imagined.
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Ya know... as much as I would like to say this isn’t true, I never really “courted” women in the past.
This was a nice change of pace.
10/10 would recommend.
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(No offense to my non-binary/non-conforming folks that are also dragging shorty. We appreciate y’all too ✊🏾)
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Not Twitter discovering Martha Munizzi 🤣🤣
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Not only are they shutting down the stock market... they going into these apps and sites and shutting down the servers for the chat rooms where people were getting stock tips to come up like they did.
Lol BBQ the rich on an open fire spit.
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So in case anyone missed it, Monday I announced my engagement to my Close Friends story on IG using the theme
#TheLastDance
from the documentary about Jordan’s last days with the Bulls.
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Unexpected money >>>>
Give freely. God will always give it back to you.
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Hey y’all,
What God has for you is for you... but your lack of focus, your procrastination & your squandering of pristine opportunities for advancement will keep you from seeing these things come to pass.
See also: disobedience.
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Was walking & catching the bus for 6 years.
Bought a car in October.
Been sleeping on a twin sized air mattress in my folks crib since May.
Got the keys to my own spot yesterday.
Big God things.
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For all of those that have asked for the recipe and we’re too lazy to scroll the thread lol *lobs*
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Imma be honest with you chief...
I stoped reading after “Tyler Perry said...”
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Bullying your romantic partners into greatness >>>>>
Clip from an older IGTV lol.
My boyfriend in the back bein my accountability partner😂✨
Full IGTV ~
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Baby walked in the function with a bottle of blue Mad Dog.
Happy mf New Year. Hopefully.
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Why are y’all “happy” Megan Good & Devon Franklin split? Nothing came out about infidelity or disrespect, they both said they’re gonna always love each other…
But y’all on here acting like she just got out of a toxic abusive environment? I’m just lost.
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Dawg I lost weight drastically from an illness and people were like “OH OK! I SEE YOU!” Whole time I hated myself lmao we really just gotta normalize not commenting on people’s weight at all
I’m not huge fan of people commenting on how “small” or “skinny” I am.
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I realize why Twitter isn’t enjoyable for a lot of people now....
You have to MASTER the art of scrolling past opinions that you would love to comment on or debate.
Gotta scroll past the stupidity like you don’t even see it.
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Cyborg being 97% robot but still having waves >>>>>
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And then yesterday I gave everyone a BTS look at what into our special night 💍💜 here’s part 1:
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Seeing an uptick of tweets in defense of Triple Dipper and I want y’all to know that my DoorDash receipts alone will prove that I am NOT above Chili’s and the Triple Dipper is my go-to! We are brethren!
One band. One sound. ✊🏾
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Thoughout the week I showed my close friends a little bit of the history of our 14 year friendship and some of the highlights of our romance, leading up to the big day!
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My mama was talking bout women wearing bonnets in the airport the other day and I was like “.......ok?” Lol who in the hell are Black people constantly auditioning for???
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White people getting Juneteenth off <<<<<<<<<
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Hookah has NEVER hit hard enough for y’all to be acting like this
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Baby I done fooled around and got happy.
TUH.
Devil you THOUGHT.
I’m alive for a reason and it ain’t to be sad or depressed.
I am the righteousness of God and His glory is still being made manifest in the earth through every breath I take.
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Nothing will upset me faster than the Black family giving a stupid answer on Family Feud when the game is on the line
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Nigga said
I just be wanting to have fun on social media and here comes “turn around” twitter 🤣
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@BigEsqBae
🤣🤣🤣 *movie announcer voice* “….when the world needed unity most… one woman sent a dumb ass tweet…”
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The way I would literally scream every time this dog approached me
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Now don’t y’all get to damning the whole year behind Cicely.... She lived a FULL life. Lol let Queen Mother take her rest.
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Your spiritual gifts are not a personality trait.
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WAIT A MINUTE. Boosie ain’t 47?!
There’s only a 4 year age difference between lil boosie and Michael B Jordan??
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I want so much more for this young black man.
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So for my followers that aren’t aware I was admitted to the hospital yesterday because of complications with Crohn’s disease and today I was informed that I will need a major operation which will be performed in a few hours.
Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated 🙏🏾
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Currently having a pregnant wife, I feel like any woman who gives birth in any capacity should get to brag about it. Successfully incubating and delivering new life into the world is a FEAT.
A woman bragging on having a baby naturally, doesn’t automatically insinuate she’s trying to shit on women who didn’t. If they aren’t explicitly mentioning the Women who didn’t give birth naturally…the competition is projected and doesn’t actually exist.
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Daniel KeepAJob Kaluuya
Keke Palmer and Daniel Kaluuya have been cast to star in Jordan Peele’s upcoming feature horror film set to be released in July 2022🖤
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When I was initially unlearning stuff I wanted to align as a “male feminist” but every single dude that called himself that was a weirdo *coughTERRYCREWScough* so I just decided to apply principles in my personal life & keep it moving. The pandering is always overcompensation
Ion know man these dudes ain’t been wrong about the self proclaimed male feminists yet 😂
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I think a lot of parents try to raise their kids as if they’re re-raising themselves. You’re parenting a whole new human being that was created to impact a new generation. Your kids aren’t your opportunities to create a better you.
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Why was Bobby Caldwell named Bobby Caldwell if he wasn’t gonna be Black? Why did he say “you tried eeehhvry-THANG” in the song like that if he ain’t Black? I just don’t understand it.
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Shorty said we pregamming before our date tonight 👀☺️😈
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These are Fortnite and TikTok legs. When I was a kid most of our games revolved around running so we were good. These kids can’t ditch after the ding dong because their muscles are in atrophy 😭
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That brother did exactly what he was placed on this earth to do. I’m devastated and inspired all at the same time.
Christ almighty...
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“BLACK COPS MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!!!”
The Black Cop:
I actually have a degree in crimonolgy as well, so i know the data regarding black police officers so i know for a fact yall are pulling alot off these statements out your behind. Just because you FEEL like they are making these differences does not mean its actually being done..
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Mike Todd and nem be paying off people’s houses and buying people cars like every other week.
That’s good ground to sow into man idc lol
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Surgical assistant just removed my abscess drain and staples y’all. According to the surgery team my rate of recovery has been nothing short of amazing. Based on my condition a week ago they recommended long term care. Today there’s talks of me heading home.
Yahweh be praised.
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I moved back home at 29 after my 2nd failed attempt at a bachelors degree. (money, not grades ☝🏾)
Now I’m 31, married & making more money than I ever have.
Do what you need to do FOR YOU, society be damned.
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