Real New Years Resolutions come from the New Years region of France. Everything by else is sparkling lies.

I wrote a book about comedy… sort of. #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy #host #feature #headliner #comedyshow #crowdwork #bits #giggles

They call it spy craft, like you can pick up a kit at Hobby Lobby.

April showers implies the existence of April growers.

I never knew the name Bastian gave the Childlike Empress until DVDs came out and I could turn on the closed captions.

What came last, the chicken or the egg?

We’re living in the post-apHawkTuahliptic timeline.

When they stop making pennies, a penny for your thoughts will cost a nickel, while your “two cents” will be a dime.

Sometimes it feels like a piece of media was created just for you. The Raiders episode of @blankcheckpod with @BRIANMBENDIS is that for me. Favorite movie on my favorite podcast with my favorite comic creator. 10/10. No notes.

Been sick, but I managed to get the 1st revision of my novella finished. Onto the 2nd. In the meantime, here is Ep. 3 of my podcast. Our post-apocalyptic ep. includes our top 10 post-apocalyptic films. Link in the comments. Share it, like it and subscribe if you got the time!

Everyday. All day. 24-7. 365.

There’s no carbs in king cake babies.

I’m only 9,238 followers from 10,000. Let’s see if we can hit 10k before I die. Clock’s ticking. It’s on you.

They got a @BassProShops in Antarctica?

Grendel Press joyously welcomes Leon Peter Blanda and his novel Old Soul! Blanda is a writer, comedian, musician, podcaster, occasional filmmaker, and full-time dad. Dog Years, his autobiographical, coming-of-age novelette, was published in 2024

I’m still calling it the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. There’s no way I’m going to remember if we start renaming bodies of water.

Yes, this weather is reminiscent of Biblical plagues, fire and ice sweeping across the land. But look on the bright side; I think the next one is frogs. And who doesn’t like frogs?

You know I can see that you read the message I sent you.

I don’t know why, but one sandwich is the same as a dozen party sandwiches.

At the grocery store… Deli lady: How you want that ham sliced? Me: As thin as you can get it without it shredding. Deli lady: *holds up whole, squealing pig* That good? Me: Sure.