Leda Haze
@LedaHazeMtl
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9,569
Following
641
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2,076
Statuses
29,986
Your Triple X Academic Hottie for Hire. :: vaxxed to the max :: Get Lost in Lust. Brunch Aficionada. #Montreal
Joined October 2014
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Send us removal request.
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He came over, fucked me senseless, massaged me for two hours, ordered some delivery thai for me, left the money on the coffee table, and went about his day.
Modern day romance.
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Got asked if my pussy is made of gold, since my rates are just so very "unreasonable".
So now I am currently looking for an artist who will make a gold cast of my cunt so I can send pictures of my gold pussy to these fuck boi TWers
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I once had a client who kept telling me that he took golden showers before seeing me. Finally I asked him what he thought a golden shower was. He thought it was a really good cleansing shower. WRONG.
He was horrified that he had been saying that to all his providers XD
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My ads : Here is my number for texting, please dont call
My website : Here is my number for texting, please dont call
My Twitter : Here is my number for texting, please dont call
him : "Bitch why wont you answer my phone calls"
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When I first started in this industry a lot of slobbyists would ask me if I offered anal - when I would reply with No, they would wish me a very hostile "Good luck in this industry with out it"...
6yrs later, I would like to personally thank them for all their well wishes.
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Can we start a Whorebnb for travelling providers who have spare bedrooms and condos to work out of?
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This is your friendly hooker reminder ::
Just because someone is a good client for you does not mean they are a good client for everyone.
...
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Small Dicks.
Big Dicks.
Average Dicks.
Soft Dicks.
Hard Dicks
Semi Dicks.
Cut Dicks.
Uncut Dicks.
Phimosis Dicks.
Men's Dicks.
Women's Dicks.
NB Dicks.
Im not picky, just gimme your dick.
- an Eda Blackwood original.
you are welcome.
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How to text any sex worker ever, regardless.
"Hi my name is X, I saw your ad. When are you next available for a Yhr booking? I would prefer in/out. Please let me know what other types of information you may need from me."
Not : "hey bb u avail"
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Not every provider sees the same number of clients you do.
Not every provider has the luxury of your rates.
Not every provider has a partner to support them during this crisis.
Not every provider has strong networks or families to depend on.
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"Are the shoes in your photos Louboutin?"
"No sorry they arent"
"Will you get some for our meeting"
sure lemme spend 1.5k on a 500$ meeting
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"300$/hr do you have a fucking gold pussy?" - with an attitude like that you will never find out.
but yes actually & my hj are made of silk
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Last night I was told that civi women no longer give hand jobs, or if they do it's like getting power pumped by sandpaper. And I have never been more sad. A good hand job is a fine art my friends
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I don't want gifts for Valentine's Day, I just want sex workers to be supported and respected.
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You want to know what's great about opinionated SWs?
We're mouthy.
Infer what you like from that. 🍰🍰🍰
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Text-yelling "Fine you just lost a client" doesn't really make me feel bad when you are demanding things I don't offer.
#pleasetryagain
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I hate civilian dating.
Last night a guy asked me what whisky I liked, so I listed my favourite (scotch) whiskies. He then tried to posture with "Oh thats nice I prefer scotch myself". I then had to tell him that they were scotches, & he said he would "let my indiscretion slide"
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*at a cafe allegedly minding my own business*
Girl next to me to her friend : "I suck absolute dick at making conversation"
Stupid ass me blurts out : "oh honey you should not advertise bad dick sucking skills and a lack of personality all in one sentence"
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"You would be more attractive if you lost some weight" - "you'd be more attractive if you didn't superimpose your beauty standards onto me"
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If you are an anti-vaxxer or an anti-masker - I regret to inform you that I can no longer suck your dick, not even for money. Your complete lack of regard for other human beings goes against my religion... or some junk... Pls keep your viral dick in your pants.
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This is a reminder that the following topics are no-ones business but mine
- how many clients I see
- if my business has returned to pre-covid levels
- if I am having sex in my personal life
- how I am having sex in my personal life
[1/2]
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Providers, please don't shame one another for the ad services an SP might use. Every hustle is different & has different turn around/demand.
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Public Service Announcement : not every provider can squirt, and I am hella tired of clients trying to get me to "squirt" while tearing my insides to shreds. We could just have a mutually fun time but you are trying to do something I am physically incapable of. Please dont.
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Just a gentle reminder that my tweets/ads that say "available now" mean I am "available now to make plans for the future"
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Dear men, did it ever occur to you that I'm all biz in my texts because if a wife/girlfriend picks up your phone I want it to be ambiguous.
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First taxi driver of the night told me women only have value if a man loves them and will marry them. Funny I have a value of 300/hr.
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Hey Twitter,
Instead of giving us a highlight reel of "tweets we may have missed"... why not just let us see the tweets in our follow feed instead of censoring the content we are actively trying to fucking view? Just a thought.
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Your regularly scheduled reminder :
Not every provider is hand over fisting their RdV with guests. Many of us are low traffic and not because we want to be, but because we are so niche that regardless of marketing we only garner a couple of meetings a month.
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Dear Gents, if you are looking for a menu I suggest taking a stroll to your nearest resto. I'm a companion. I provide companionship, not xyz
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How to tell if you are talking to a SW in their civilian disguise :
. they are on a keto/paleo/gluten-free/vegan diet
. they seem to love their slowcooker... almost as much as they love their cat(s)
. they humblebrag about their last trip to Bali
. they pay for everything in 50s
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"Just because a guy is a decent client for one provider, doesnt mean he isnt a time waster for everyone else" - a Wise little Birdie
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Please stop messaging me with "I want to book you so much" if you have never booked me, will never book me, or have never contributed to me.
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"So I saw your ad, can you please tell me everything your ad already said so I can tell you that your services are too expensive for me?"
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Some day I will own these
(translation : some day someone will buy these for me and I will sit around naked, save these shoes, sipping champagne)
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I would love to "curate" my twitter feed but I feel like cock jokes, scotch, & hot men 5x my age from
@WhoresofYore
is an accurate portrait.
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Believe it or not, sex workers do need to eat. We can't survive on blow jobs and hope. If I'm out eating a meal, I am not replying to texts.
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Everyone please cross all your fingers and toes (but not your knees) for me. I am applying for an internship that merges all of my personal interests into one perfect opportunity.
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I'm all about meaningful connections, not senseless erections 🍆💦
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Today is my sixth hooker-versary. It is also 6 years on twitter <3 Ive come a long way from being part of an agency, to being Dillan, to be Eda. <3
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Just a shout out. The "I don't see race" card erases people's lived experiences and histories. You aren't being an ally throwing that around
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The thing about the provider network is it only works if we take care of each other, not just ourselves
#supportyourlovers
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Is it possible to rebrand my entire business as "comfy grampa sweater wearing hooker". Cause if we were being honest - that's my real GFE. Complete with Oxford shoes, and awkward high waisted jeans
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Guys, it is never cool to send a provider a direct message that reads
"Hey just saw your personal profileon tinder, thought I would jump onto your work twitter profile and say hi. Hows your night, wanna grab a drink trollolololol"
Because, no we do not. That is invasive & gross
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Wisdom of the day :
Just because you are a good client for one provider does not mean you are good client to every provider. Please be on your best behaviour.
Just because you retweet and comment on every photo does not mean you support her. It just means you consume her.
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