Tara Millette
@LazyGinger
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copy/comedy writer. Editor & Co-founder @honeypotsatire. Words @Reductress @mcsweeneys @thisisrobotbutt @slackjaw @The_Belladonnas #binders 🇨🇦in🇺🇲 she/her
Philadelphia, PA
Joined October 2011
I think if I hold out for one more week Hello Fresh will literally come to my door and cook all their food for free for the next 5 years
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Damn, I need exercise. Sorry, an EXORCISM. I need an exorcism.
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The Zara website is truly ridiculous. I’m trying to see pants and they’re like “Wait— have you ever contemplated death in a hazy meadow”
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Nothing prepares you for the deep lunge your baby takes when you’re trying to air out a diaper rash
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I actually like my boobs MORE after breastfeeding. They have a lot more character. It’s a character played by Droopy Von UnevenNips, but still
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The first person to discover popcorn must’ve thought they were losing their absolute fucking mind
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Me in my 20’s: *using sulfuric acid to strip oil out of my pores* ugh so shinyyyy Me in my 30’s: *violently shoving moisturizer into every pore* plz shiny plz
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Yayayayay!! My fellow soup-aficionado and Twitter friend @Audrey_Burges wrote a FREAKING NOVEL!! Get it now!!
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Honorable mention to Denmark, for being able to yell and look bored at the same time
I didn't know Miss World was a thing still, but I've been watching how the French woman introduces herself for about half an hour
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My baby scratches the wall and giggles when I change his diaper and it just occurred to me what a deeply creepy experience that must be for our neighbors
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Turns out she probably would’ve taken these tips back after
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This is very much a casual boost, but I’m negative $40 on my PayPal and we still have a bunch of bills left this month so if you ARE looking for gift ideas, my writer shop or our embroidery business ( https://t.co/1HMdQvK70S) both contain great products and gift cards!
If you’re thinking of last minute gift ideas for a writer in your life, I have gift cards for my author promo template shop! Give someone you love the ease of predesigned graphics to help promote their book! Please RT/Boost!
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Elon Musk is deleting accounts that post this video of him being booed for 10 minutes last night at a Dave Chapelle show. He can’t delete us all. Retweet while you still can. https://t.co/xMq4hgvRG0
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A reminder: America has no higher minimum wage, no extended child tax credits, and no voting rights protections because of Kyrsten Sinema.
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If you have an Amazon package delivered starting 7 December, go to your Alexa and say, “Alexa, thank my driver.” They get a $5 bonus, at no cost to you!
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