Tonight on the veranda we have free boxing lessons. Marquess de Sade rules, of course.

We pride ourselves as being the finest of family type establishments. Addams Family type establishments, that is.

So apparently everybody is going nuts over this Artificial Intelligence thing nowadays. What do you all think about Malicious Intelligence? That's more our league here in the House of Lament.

In the spirit of thanks giving, we thank all of you who come to visit us. You make us whole, and sacrifice so much. So from everybody at the House of Lament, have a very happy Thanksgiving this November.

(But of course, if you've got other duds on, stop on by! You're grand just the way you are!)

If you're not up for goody two-shoes vibes at Avernus, we've got lots going on here at party by the killer gazebo. Theme is Cowboys 'n' Aliens (aka Nova Vaasans 'n' Blutspureans). Come give us a visit at Hotel Lament. We'll keep a fright on for y'all!

Tonight we will be bobbing for organs instead of bobbing for apples. Fortunately, we know many organ donors...

The House just got a new merchandising deal- a costume for you or your house! Buy now and we'll throne in a discount ticket for the real thing.

We would adopt a more seasonally appropriate nickname, but we don't want our brand to be confused with the Deathhouse (who added "of Lament" to their title). THOSE people are WEIRDOS! Just remember that we, the REAL House of Lament, is 100% pure scare this Halloween, no gimmicks!

Clean up required on the gazebo, please would at least one of the staff clean up the mess. A particularly zealous group of adventurers, and the gazebo's always a sloppy eater.

I think that I I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a treant. A tree whose hungry maw is prest Against a man’s sweet bleeding neck; A tree that drinks up blood all day, And lifts her leafy arms to slay; A tree that may in umbral wear A nest of deaths heads in her hair.

The reviews are in; everyone's saying the House of Lament is the place to have the most memorable time of your life!

@BarovVon If people would like to explore the House of Lament looking for Tatyana, then please come give us a visit. Also available for parties and weddings. House Lament, we'll keep a fright on for ya.

Remember, here at Lament House, we all love you all, we love you very much, we love you very very much, we love you to... we love you to death!

Termites are not a problem for this House. (We've taught them all to utilize human flesh and blood instead of wood.)

It's been a long and hellaciously hot summer, but admittedly good for business. People are swarming our doorsteps just to get out of the heat into our eternal autumn. Old news, but please take care of each other and stay hydrated. We don't want anyone dying, out there.

Last night we had a cleric of Ilmanner, god of enduring... indignantly with lots of complaints. Cleric would've martyred himself to save his party ... after giving them all big guilt trips. However, we let him go b/c it's fun to let the world continue to suffer from his tirades.

To the priest of Tyr whose Truth spell fizzled, we're sorry, the local Zoning laws don't allow that.

We tried to get account verified, but they won't give it to ambiguously gestalt spirit hauntings personified into genius loci quasi-sentient houses. Something about the vagueness of identity in the house makes it hard to verify. We don't see the problem- but go figure!

We must say we are quite respectful, even jealous, of the inviting vibes in this gelatinous cube's open house.