My dream of Dr. K’s Bounce-a-Pornium is officially DEAD. The Robostitutes™️ have unionized, the city started asking WAY too many questions, and my invite to the Player’s Ball has been revoked! RIP Better Life🪦 #ArcherFXX

The judge said that because I tweeted that robots are people, I have to offer my Robostitutes™️ a healthcare package. What could be better healthcare than a new goddamn set of genitals 10 times a day??? #ArcherFXX

God DAMMIT, now the NYC govt is claiming there’s no way to approve wheelchair ramps for an inflatable building and also brothels are apparently ILLEGAL. I need a black market lawyer. #ArcherFXX

Great, now the Krieger Brand Robostitutes™️ want to unionize. The Bounce-a-Pornium isn’t even open yet, how are they being exploited?!? Social media and “workers rights” are killing my side hustle. #ArcherFXX

Uh oh. Hit a zoning snag for Dr. K’s Bounce-a-Pornium™️. Are there any A.I. lawyers and/or clergy out there that could help a pimp out? Free membership and inserts for a year just for consultation! #ArcherFXX

A lot of people are asking- the bounce-house brothel with Krieger Brand Robostitutes™️ is called Dr. K’s Bounce-a-Pornium. The Robostitutes™️ will all have individual names because robots are people, dammit! #ArcherFXX

Big things in the works! By 2025 you should be able to visit the world’s 1st Bounce-House Brothel, completely staffed by sentient robots! Or as I call them- “Robostitutes™️” #ArcherFXX

What I really like about working at IIA is nothing. #smokebomb #worksucks #ArcherFXX

I watched that Bad Batch cartoon and was all “pfft, they think THAT’S a bad batch, they should see the monstrosities I had to flush last month!” #ArcherFXX

I’m just trying to hustle enough money to start my airborne taxi service CLONE DRONES! “Where every drone is piloted by a clone!” #clonedrone. #archerfxx

People always ask how Pigly 3 is doing so I’m happy to report that he’s running free and growing large on Monster Island with the rest of the kaiju. #ArcherFXX

Thinking about starting an underground nightclub/fightclub/frightclub with @pamsgossiptain. Looking for good name suggestions. #ArcherFXX

Fie on the sinister-science skeptics! FIE, I say! #fie #sinistersciencerules #ArcherFXX

I watched an old episode of Knight Rider last night and pfft I could TOTALLY make a K.I.T.T., although mine would be a van and a whole lot sassier. #ArcherFXX

You guys know Archer doesn’t actually NEED the tactile-cane anymore, right? #ArcherFXX

I wonder whatever happened to that intern I injected with my yet-to-be-patented invisibility serum…🤔 #ArcherFXX

Can it really be called *dark* science if it brings me so much joy? #ArcherFXX

Idea: Furinerals- The urinal for funerals! #ArcherFXX

Remember that time those aliens at Area 51 gave me and @pamsgossiptrain the secrets to the universe? We should get around to using those someday. We could Loki the shit out of this timestream. #ArcherFXX

For those of you wondering, yes Mitsuko and I are still friends. She’s dating Hologram Tupac and they seem very happy together. #blessed #ArcherFXX