Writers spend more time watching inspiration porn than actually writing. That's why I built the only platform where “I’m a writer" requires evidence. Because nothing reveals your true character like having to report your daily word count to someone who’s expecting an answer. 🧵

Writing tip: If you're stuck, try writing longhand. You'll discover you're just as stuck, but now your hand hurts.

Being a writer is spending an hour describing how your protagonist smells like lavender and rainfall, then remembering you haven't showered since Tuesday.

Writers who don't read will tell you they're "protecting their unique voice." Meanwhile, that voice sounds suspiciously like ChatGPT.

After 80,000 words of meticulous worldbuilding, the outline to my final chapter currently reads: "idk magic or something."

Every writer has two novels inside them: The one they swear they'll start next week, and the one they tell their parents about to justify their English degree.

My writing routine is sacred. Every morning at 5am, I wake up refreshed and energized. By 5:03am, I decide to put off writing until tonight.

I've rehearsed my Pulitzer Prize acceptance speech so many times I could give it in my sleep. By the way, does anyone know how to turn a 3-minute speech into a 400-page novel?

Being a writer means every purchase becomes a legitimate business expense. Weighted blanket? I'm writing an anxious protagonist. Netflix subscription? Inspiration. The novel I'm actually writing? I've got a really solid first paragraph.

Writer's block is your brain's version of hiding the car keys from a drunk guy. Except you've been spending the past three hours checking the oil, organizing the trunk, and you still haven't noticed that the keys are missing.

Congrats to all the writers getting six-figure book deals. I'm so happy for you, seriously. I'm totally not lying on my kitchen floor eating shredded cheese directly from the bag.

Like, comment, and RT for a chance to buy me a coffee!

There's a special kind of sentence you can only write at 2am. The key is to hit publish before the morning light destroys your masterpiece.

You know what's better than avoiding social interactions? Bringing your 400-page manuscript and cornering anyone who approaches the shrimp cocktail. I have the whole house to myself now.

I've decided to schedule time to write every day between 11pm-2am. Which is unfortunate, because I'm asleep then.

Every book is a masterpiece until you write the query letter. Suddenly, you find yourself trying to argue that "Harry Potter but with dentists" isn't as dumb as it sounds.

The blank page can't judge you if you never look at it.

Being a writer means having complete power over your characters' lives, but you still can't win an argument against them in the shower.