People who don't like beans in Chilli are admitting they want less food per food, and I can't really get behind that line of thinking.

Shortly before I was blessed with two Christmases for the rest of my life 🙌🙌.

I'm not emotionally stunted, you're just emotionally old. .

It's been about 28 years, and I've never stopped feeling guilty about it. 28 years and I still find myself back there feeling fear and helplessness like I'm right there again with no way to protect my family. I didn't need that fucking glass of water and they didn't need Ed.

See, my safe word is just my first and middle name. That way I'll immediately know I've done something wrong, and you're free to scream "Zanzibar" all you want.

I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life. That's it, no but, I'm just a fucking idiot.

*Ron Howard voice* ."there was shit under the bucket."

I met 2 different dogs named Luna today, so it's been a pretty awesome day.

Ken Block, Jeremy Renner, DeMar Hamlin. 2023 showed up and said I ain't playing.

I don't understand cabbage on new years day. The last thing I want to eat to start my year off is hot leaves in hot leaf juice.

You ever have a family Christmas trip planned for half the year and then end up getting sick the day you get there. Me too.

It's that special time of the year where I get to break out this @unMadeGaming classic! Roll high and Roll on my friends.

I lost my last grandmother (dad's Mom) today and my last grandfather (mom's Dad) on Tuesday. it's been kind of a shitty week to say the least. I haven't really had a good cry about the situation yet, but I know it's coming.

I just remembered I bought a Tapatio pickle 2 days ago. Now all I want to do is got home and eat my spicy pickle.

Me getting ready to absolutely destroy my nieces and nephews with snowballs over Christmas. As the Funcle, it's my duty.

You ever just be at work and miss your dog?.

What is the Turkey getting pardoned for? The crime of being delicious?.