Josh Pugh
@JoshPughComic
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Fancy Dan.On Tour 2024 tickets on the website. Enquiries to hannah @parkascomedy .com - 📸 @amybrammall
Atherstone, England
Joined February 2011
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
Look at all those dates (working on more) link in bio x
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My favourite thing on Twitter is when someone completely drops their online persona to demand answers from a train company / broadband provider.
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Wife has been looking forward to stew in the slow cooker all day. Just realised I unplugged it earlier when I was plugging in Alexa to ask her how old Ronan Keating is.
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Your boyfriend just thanked Gym Shark on Instagram for sending him stuff he paid for.
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Really hope no protestors block my route to work today on the M42 Northbound junction 11 at around 8.24 this morning.
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What if the only kid who isn’t moaning about the Wonka Experience has passed the test and is now the heir to the Wonka Experience?
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So apparently, potential employers can look you up online. Just what I need after working well all day as part of a team.
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Sorry I “killed the vibe” at your wedding by getting serious passport photos done in the photo booth.
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Guys ending relationships by text, do better. Be a real man and invest in a celebrity video message from Graeme Souness.
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My advice to any youngsters starting school today, a shatterproof ruler to the throat of the biggest kid before the first bell, make a statement.
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Day 1 at Center Parcs. Bloke working here said he’s never seen anyone come down the rapids so fast and they’re gonna have a meeting about it and possibly contact GB Bobsleighing about me.
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Rudolph to the all the reindeers who wouldn’t let him join in any reindeer games
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Left my phone unlocked on the table and classic lads have gone and applied for and accepted a data analyst position in Inverness on my LinkdIn. I start Monday. Ffs 🙈🙈🙈😂😂😂
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Just ate a burrito that I was never quite in control of, on the back foot from the first bite and it was damage limitation from there.
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British Ex-Footballer talks about his favourite manager (part 2)
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Front of the queue, paid my respects, straight to the back of the queue, we go AGAIN.
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Being a baby looks well stressful. Imagine your socks just falling off 6 times a day. Nightmare
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My guess is that Kate Middleton has fallen foul of an addiction to the app “stick cricket.” Something I’ve been through myself and I don’t expect we’ll be seeing her until the next eclipse.
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Love it when it starts snowing and an adult immediately says “it won’t settle”. Don’t even allow a second of excitement for anyone get it shut down straight away.
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When you’re at a festival and a warm cup of liquid hits you in face, you just have to pray it’s not Carling.
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You haven’t watched the videos your girlfriend keeps sending
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So this was Arctic Monkey’s set list from Bristol last night. Can’t wait for Cov tomorrow now.
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Started with a new personal trainer yesterday and today I can’t even go up stairs lol. (He’s up there fucking my wife).
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“Legit” business owner with a past. New Year message / apology
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So just found out that potential employers can look you up on social media. Which is just what I wanted to hear at the end of a busy day working well as part of a team.
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Why’s everyone shitting themselves about the pound? Just pay on card ffs..
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Parents refuse to accept responsibility for their own bad planning
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Remember kids, if you don’t do well in your GCSEs it doesn’t really matter, there are so many different routes you can take in life. Unless you’ve failed Maths and English then you’re proper fucked.
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How did Ibis Budget hotels come about? Did management walk round a regular Ibis and were like “come on guys we can do worse than this? Where’s your lack of ambition?”
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Been thinking of getting a Peloton, how good are they? Like how much washing can you actually store on top of one?
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Darts is 100% the hardest sport. Like trying to thread a needle on stage at a Bongo’s Bingo.
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Quite comfortable changing my baby’s nappy on his own changing table, feels like a home fixture. Whereas doing it in the disabled toilet of a Wagamama very much feels like a tricky away leg in the depths of Eastern Europe.
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When Lewis Capaldi, a singer does a funny video everyone says how down to earth and likeable he is. But when I, a comedian release a 12 track album of contemporary love songs everything thinks I’m a “prick”.
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Wonder if there is a boxer out there who is really talented but held back from fighting because he’s self conscious about his nipples?
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First Day Working at Karen’s Diner and Your Parents Have Booked a Table
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Never watching boxing with mates’ girlfriends again, spoke all the way through it then asked if Lennox Lewis was Levi Roots.
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