Jon 🔬
@JonnyMicro
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Clinical microbiologist by day. Cheese aficionado and geek all the time. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Opinions are mine alone. Love my kids.
Dayton, OH
Joined March 2010
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I posted this back in January before everything went to shit. But you know what? We all trucked our ass off and we’re still here pushing forward. On the penultimate day of 2020, I still think this guy’s unstoppable energy is me and us today and going forward
I’ve used this adorable octopus trucking his ass off 4 times in separate places tonight and I love his unstoppable energy and you know what this guy on his way is my spirit animal in 2020
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“Ok but why carbonite? Why not just take him out completely? What’s the thinking behind that?”
“CHOPA SO REEPA SOLO SA DU SCHUTTA AN JEE OOHHHOHOHO”
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I notice you didn’t Google how to buy tickets
Decided to google WNBA salaries before the draft and I actually want to die what the hell.
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Ladies get you a man who loves you as much as this guy loves trains
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@WajahatAli
So you have nothing to say about what he reported, just name-calling. Interesting
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One guy (Richard Reid) tried to light his shoe on fire twenty years ago and as a result we’re still taking our shoes off at the airport to this day. And you think we can go back to the way it was if we hit a number or get it to zero? Lmao man ok
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So those CoExIsT bumper stickers turned out to be bullshit right
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What killed him
A Roman era skull found impaled with a large spike. It is currently on display in Bonn, Germany.
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How did he die
Skull of a Roman solider who died during the Gallic Wars, 1st century BC. Museo Rocsen in Argentina.
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@profamirattaran
@united
@rcmpgrcpolice
@Transport_gc
@AirPassRightsCA
@CBCPolitics
@globeandmail
@globalnews
You the type of fella to remind the teacher she forgot to assign homework
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You guys don’t get it, Putin declaring parts of Ukraine independent and then moving in with troops is him just walking into the delicate trap Biden has set for him. You will see. So thankful we have adults in charge again!
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For all you “democracy dies in darkness” types,
@DefiantLs
was like an ombudsman for the big accounts that merely reminded them of their own past words when it was inconvenient. Right-leaning? Sure. Does that matter if you value free speech? It shouldn’t
@twitter
@twittersupport
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They definitely don’t work as well as regular urinals
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They tried to sell “Critical Race Theory isn’t real” to a workforce who had to sit through HR sessions explaining the inherent sin of their skin color to stay employed and thought that they wouldn’t connect the dots to the implications for public education lmaooo
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So mad rn thinking about how with the $42 billion he paid for Twitter Elon Musk could have given everyone in America 10 million dollars instead 😤😤😤
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These people clutching their pearls over cOmEdY had nothing to say about the Babylon Bee getting locked out for months over a joke about Rachel Levine, so I literally don’t care
Kathy Griffin has had her Twitter account suspended for parodying Elon Musk.
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No one is doing this
People are calling US President Joe Biden 'badass' after a video of him emerging from Air Force One amid a heavy snowstorm went viral.
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@Emywinst
Did you really steal this tweet verbatim from Mohammed who recycled it himself?
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All of his videos are like this, he gets really excited about trains and for some reason he does the bug eye head shot thing every time which always gets me, I love him
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@voxdotcom
In the American imagination, Jesse Owens and Frederick Douglass are always black. Please like and retweet.
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@EdgeofSports
Are you gonna be ok knowing there’s a black man who disagrees with your politics?
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The Community Note 😭😭
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He also has a girlfriend so if you’re gonna hate chances are train guy is doing better than you
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Holy shit guys, I thought the sarcasm was self evident (and to my OG peeps it is) especially with the clown GIF follow up tweet but MY LORD y’all need to lighten up lmaoooooo
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Thinking about how certain people were massively more outraged about a drone strike that killed an Iranian general who murdered Americans than they are over a drone strike that killed no one but civilians and children
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Thinking about how they literally stopped making comedy movies and no one noticed
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Imagine thinking Bill Burr gives a shit that some people are mad his wife flipped off Trump lmao
Breaking!
Bill Burr's career was murdered last night by his wife at a UFC event held at Madison Square Garden.
Be on the lookout if you see this rotten fat bitch as she is highly toxic and is rumored to have the power of extinguishing a persons manhood. Mr Burr lost his!
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The CDC now says you can dance if you want to, you can leave your cares behind, cuz your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance they’re no friends of mine
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This and Calvin and Hobbes were literally the best comic strips, periodt
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If you think today is a good day to talk about January 6th please do us all a favor and delete your account
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@StopTrump2020
WOMEN SHOULD OWN THEIR BODIES.
Except if they’re not explicitly leftist. Then we shame forever. That’s so brave.
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@profamirattaran
@united
@rcmpgrcpolice
@Transport_gc
@AirPassRightsCA
@CBCPolitics
@globeandmail
@globalnews
Babies gonna baby
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One of the greatest Dad moments of all time
RIP to Jim Redmond, who famously helped his son Derek to the finish line at the 1992 Olympic 400m semifinal on a torn hamstring.
Jim was 81. 🙏
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I think it’s so powerful that Punxsutawney Phil came out and said he was removing his shadow from Spotify
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Who the fuck asked for this
Claire Danes & Dakota Fanning have been cast as Hilary Clinton in different stages of her life in an adaption of ‘RODHAM’.
The series follows an alternate reality in which Hillary Rodham Clinton met and dated Bill Clinton but never married him.
(Source: )
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Just saw a Pfizer commercial where they said the pandemic brought us together and L M A O
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If you view conversation as a conflict and a chance to show off your prowess and not an opportunity for connection then perhaps society is not for you
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Guys I’m pro vax. I’m also against a vax mandate. Continue regardless
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Got some shitty work news as I was walking out. I’m still employed but it’s going to be a frustrating shitshow from here on out. I need to get out of there. Any prayers or positive vibes that an opportunity will present itself would be appreciated. Thank you.
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This is how the Indiana Jones story ended. Watch and enjoy whatever corporate fan fiction you want beyond this, but this right here is the ending.
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Lmao you’re damn right I’m cheering for the bus driver
The point of these signs is to show the legal passing distance. There's a disturbing urge by Americans to watch this thinking they're supposed to cheer for the bus driver.
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@ianbremmer
Not surprising that like half of Americans, Europe doesn’t understand that overturning Roe doesn’t outlaw abortion
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Always. ALWAYS. You’re a terrible Christian if you don’t do liberal things. But if you do conservative things as a Christian you’re a dangerous theocrat? Buddy we’re not playing this game any more
Serious questions for devout Christians - WWJ think of how DeSantis and Abbott are treating these migrants? Where in the Bible can you cite support for treating the poor, hungry and oppressed (including kids) this way? If he could dictate our immigration policies, WWJ say?
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They don’t care that you’re suffering - they think your suffering will force you into making choices they like. The hardship is the point.
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Death cult = not being able to steal shit
The food necessary to keep babies alive placed under lock and key is the clearest proof I can think of that capitalism is a death cult and failed economic model.
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Imagining that Tracy Chapman’s original version of “Fast Car” was ignored is just insane historical revisionism. True it didn’t dominate country charts - BECAUSE IT WASN’T A COUNTRY SONG. These Tumblr reject opinion makers are ruining our culture.
As Luke Combs's hit cover of Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" dominates the country charts, it’s bringing up some complicated emotions in fans & singers who know that Chapman, as a queer Black woman, would have an almost zero chance at that achievement herself:
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Taiwan is a country
Men can’t get pregnant
Israel has a right to exist
Did I miss anything?
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This script written by a bot forced to watch Hallmark movies had me crying
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Good morning to everyone except adults who got action figures of politicians for Christmas
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WEAR THE SHIRT
BAKE THE CAKE
OR WE’LL COME FOR YOU
Yeah we’re not playing this game any more
It’s obviously awful that so many hockey players, etc, won’t wear pride shirts. But what pisses me off even more is when they won’t wear pride shirts but still INSIST that they don’t hate the LGBTQ community. If you don’t hate the LGBTQ community, wear the shirt!! Simple!!
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Putin looked at a map and said “More like OURkraine am I right comrades” and everyone clapped
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“We can easily kill you with impunity so why not disarm” isn’t the sell you think it is
lol yeah your personal gun collection is going to do jack against the raytheon/mcdonnell-douglas/lockheed martin/etc supplied military in your fantasy about stopping a govt takeover. hahahaha
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@AmirAminiMD
You know what else is a war crime? Killing hundreds of civilians. Go cry more
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They’re gonna try to cancel the guy who wrote 1984. You can’t make it up.
In addition to being a gov snitch, fraud George Orwell spent WWII demonizing the USSR as it defeated Nazism
As the Red Army sacrificed millions fighting Hitler, and as the Nazi regime shoved Jews into gas chambers, Orwell was writing Animal Farm
Vile man
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Anyway here’s Jim Varney aka Ernest P Worrell as the Punisher
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@AJDelgado13
@jakeflanagin
@kalihollowayftw
You’re embarrassing yourself and nobody cares about your “real” Harvard degree
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My fellow members of the Deviled Egg Squad, today is our highest of holy days, go forth, consume and rejoice!!
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I think it’s hilarious that one time Madonna kissed Drake and he almost threw up
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Got goosebumps and teared up a little bit actually watching and listening to this and thinking about how certain people wanted to use this cover to divide us. But music, when it’s done right, can only bring us together because when it’s performed honestly and earnestly, it is the…
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I have learned through a series of leaks that NORAD actually FAKES the Santa tracker data EVERY YEAR. What ELSE are THEY lying ABOUT?
WAKE UP PATRIOTTS
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@Public_Citizen
Is your account still active? Are you still able to post? Of course you are, you can still say whatever you want. Elon is simply not required to listen. That’s how free speech works
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Sometimes you just gotta talk your daughter through getting a drink when it’s dark
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