Johnny Vegas
@JohnnyVegasReal
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Comedy's a campfire, come and be warmed
Joined September 2011
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メイドの日
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メイドさん
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メイド服
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#それスノ
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#Mステ
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सुप्रीम कोर्ट
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太陽フレア
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ラウール
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aiko
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ONGSASUN CONFLICT
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#BACKSLIVEに油を注せ
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モバイルSuica
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チャージ
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#阪神タイガース
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DDoS
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岸辺露伴
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ジェシー
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世界大会
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階段降り
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i think we have to remember that this young man didn’t choose this life, he was born into it, like it or not. This young man lost his Mother at a young age and has done his best to remain dignified in the face of awful examples of press intrusion. He never tapped phones, you did
Imagine being two staggeringly privileged royal multi-millionaires going to Africa to make a documentary that supposedly 'shines a light' on poverty, violence against women/girls & racial inequality - then in fact making it all about their own terrible struggle? I mean, FFS.
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With a kind of deep regret that I’m still incapable of processing, I have to confirm that Ma Vegas, Patricia, passed away last Sunday, peacefully in her sleep. To say she was a bit of a character would be too huge an underestimation. As a Mum I dare to argue I had the best x
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3 hour wait on an ambulance but A&E had to close its doors, full to capacity. Why be angry at the incredible folk working under unbelievable stress? I remain grateful, my bitterness belongs to
@BorisJohnson
@Conservatives
at your neglect of our
@NHSuk
& blatant drive to privatise
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Don't like to lecture, I prefer to keep it light. Yet my honest opinion? Our healthcare is being privitasied, our education is forcing young students into debt. Our brightest lights opting out for fear of debt. We are modelling our economy on the USA. We're better than that x
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Because we’re 1 of the World’s wealthiest Nations. We can afford to live by the belief that you base the strength of a society on how it cares for its weakest members. Most nations can’t afford it, others succumb to the ideal of profit above humanity. We can, therefore we should
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Apologies for my delay in paying tribute to Sean Lock. It's truly rocked me to my core. An all time favourite comedian but also the kindest of comics when I started out. Attending early shows, laughing loudly when others daren't, he remained a beautiful mentor & guiding light x
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So the tide came in and said "Hey soft lad, give us all those worries over everything and nothing and I'll take 'em back out with me"
As ever, thank you Crosby ❤
Its been a busy day for a big daft busy head but all grand now x
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The
@NHS
is not a charity, its our national lifeline, our greatest show of strength. We care for all, not the few. There is no price tag you can hang on the most important reason to call ourselves a society. It's not for the who has, we care for whomever needs it most x
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Thank you, all of you. It dun’t feel right not to respond to all of your messages individually but we are feeling the love as a family. Pat would’ve been made up with thefuss. She was the love of my life but I ‘did her head in’ at times, whereas a response like yours is humbling
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Before I try & turn in & shut down the busy brain that has taunted me all my life, I can't help but ponder why confrontation is winning over debate? No common ground, just all or nothing. My Dad raised me to listen, not just raise my voice. Apologies for this lecture like tweet x
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Dear Crosby Beach. I found you earlier a little low & a whole heap of lost. Thanks for suggesting that despite my notion of needs, being there today might just be part of a bigger plan I couldn't get my simple head around alone.
Merry Christmas one & all, including Bert here x
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For those kind enough to ask, we got Mum settled in her own bed & she is already doing much better than she was earlier today
@NHSuk
response team once again proved to be a reassuring lifeline. She told me off 9 times in just one hour so she must be on the mend. Thank you all X
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I do my best not to come on social platforms to preach. I understand I have a blessed life. I sincerely do not make this request to further a celeb reputation for caring. We need our
@NHS
in all our lives. Folk matter. Don't RT for me, please do so for us all, thanks x 💙
Watch this heartfelt video from the one and only Johnny Vegas:
"Please, I implore you... to protect our NHS from commercial interests... It was set up for a reason - and it's because we matter".
Please RT and go to to take our 5 actions!
#YourNHSNeedsYou
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Happy New Year. That's all I wish for you all. Heading to SPAR determined to be a non smoker come 2022. Not looking for a medal or owt, just not going to my local shop for tabs. Nicotine, you wild and wanton dangerous lover you, we're over, finished, done 😶
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I've spent tonight crying to the film 'A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood' Missing both my Dad's wisdom & my Mum's pure undeniable love. I'm not tweeting this to seem deep or troubled, I'm just hoping I can cut loose some angst whilst holding on to hope. Stay safe, you matter x
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Cried smiling in acceptance of how much I miss Dad. I don't share this to self promote, just learning that shutting down means I'm not celebrating his joy. To miss is to love & to love is to have shared it so to not pass it on is about grief. I want love, joy, so would Dad x
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Have to pick new headshot for employers to get a feel for me pre-casting. Surely this shows I’ve reached the age to play a no nonsense DCI with a troubled past, ex wife, current demons who doesn’t play by the rules book but gets the job done? (Or a Wetherspoon’s temporay manager)
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Before this day ends, Happy Birthday Dad. I thought this might be the one where I managed to dodge the melancholy & smile, yet my childlike silent tantrum just wants you back. Your smile, your guidance, your innate ability to point out the good stuff. Miss you. Still love you x
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Wary of wading in on obvious moral plights but I was in the Pov's queue at school (Nickname for kids getting free lunches) I felt no shame. Dad was made redundant & Mum was a cleaner. Only now do I feel ashamed on behalf a nation allowing any child to go hungry
#packedlunchc4
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As the sun sets and our first guests arrive tomorrow please let me thank everyone involved in
#jvglamping
Mam & Dad (Patricia the bus, Lol the upcycled bar) are together on this field of dreams. Emotional day but feel like it was totally worth it. Take care and sleep tight ❤ x
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Still a long way to go but boosts like this via youngest lad Tom help to take it another day further.
Genuinely not being smug, I'm just trying to let other quitters know that I know it's rough. If I falter, I'll get up & start again but for now 24 days ciggy free 💙 🤞🏽Ta Son x
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Thought about Mum & Dad all day today. My attempts at DIY, how they made everything humble a castle. How afraid I'd be if they were still isolating under this crisis? Have posted many tweets regarding positive action but I know how hard this is on families distanced. Stay safe x
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So today, fingers crossed and God willing, is my last day as a smoker. I shall miss my smelly respite, my cherished chunks of nicotine stained solitude, my Marlboro musings when the white noise of society relents and guilty fondness prevails. Farewell my 9cm of frowned upon bliss
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Once again I am humbled and forever indebted to
@sthknhs
@NHSEngland
for the care & dedication you show towards those I hold nearest & dearest. Ma Vegas took ill today but knowing she is under your watchful gaze at this late hour goes way beyond gratitude, yet still, thank you x
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So Ma-Vegas is home & once more we as a family would like to thank you for all you kind messages,
@NHSEngland
& especially all
@sthknhs
& the ward 2B team for minding her so wonderfully. We've relied on you so much over the years & remain indebted to & in awe of your dedication X
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My Dad died March 2017, if not for
@NHSEngland
he'd have gone 2002. Vote
@UKLabour
vote
@jeremycorbyn
Don't let
@Conservatives
bury our NHS
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Its weird, and I’m honestly not trying to sound like some martry, but almost a week off the cigs and I’ve woken up craving one more than World peace. Went through all the pockets in every jacket, coat, cagoule that I own before reminding myself, I don’t smoke, not no more X
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Apologies for the dramatics of yesterday. Thank you all for your kind support and feedback bit ordinarily I tackle this stuff on my own. I don't expect a parade when tackling the same strife as friends and neighbours. Cig free but so are many others, fair play to all of you 👏🏽 x
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Such a hugely kind and supportive response to yesterday's share from Crosby Beach, thank you everybody. I'll endeavour to respond as & when I can. Much ❤️ to you all in the meantime. Here's to our special spaces of beauty, release & soulful repose. Take care x
#OneHugFitsAll
🫂
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Don't ever abuse this day to further your commitment to destroying from within what those brave souls died for. How dare you hijack a time for remembrance in favour of political advancement. You obviously wasted time calculating a tweet in favour of quiet, solem gratitude
Only one poppy in sight on
#rememberanceday
. Says all you need to know about the Labour Party
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Apologies to anyone vegan or vegetarian but my boy is back home and dinner is served X
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Sometime words fail me so this'll have to do for now Patricia. There's not a day goes by Super Mum ❤💙X
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After much careful consideration it is my pleasure to introduce a very special new addition the Vegas clan, Eden/Bruno 😍 Thanks to all
@DT_Merseyside
for helping make this happen. He’s ruddy adorable and is already settling in nicely with Pat (but likes me best 😉)
#hesakeeper
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Knowing you’ll be with those who need you most whilst I selfishly brag about my Festive plans, don’t forget our gratitude as a family. Please retweet & share some love for
@NHSuk
and all the time they devote to keeping our nearest and dearest with us. We’d be lost without you X
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Yet Georgina, they’d have us blame you for providing the best care you are allowed & funded to provide. How you manage to do it with such conscientious & ongoing commitment humbles me. They want patients & yourselves demoralised to the point that we surrender our
@NHSuk
Never!
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Just in case you weren’t sure
@DogsTrust
I know Ma Vegas adopted Toby, but he will remain a member of the family and be loved and cared for every bit as much as when he was Mum’s best friend. Thank you again for this special wee guy X
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Thank you everyone for your kind words & thoughts regarding today's anniversary. Sorry for not responding to everyone in person but on Mum's behalf, just you taking the time to acknowledge today would've meant the World to her. In her words "You've spoilt her rotten" ❤❤❤Xx
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I’ve woken to
@BBCNews
discussing the importance of post
#LoveIsIand
contestant pr/career advice. I’m older in the tooth and have never had abs worth a factor 50 rub but seriously, we’re in a dire political tailspin. Do you consider this news?
Moody old bloke
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I’m quite the stranger to twitter of late but before her procedure tomorrow can I just yet again, hand on heart, thank
@sthknhs
@NHSuk
#StHelensCOPD
& her excellent GP Doctor Schofield for your compassion & care for my dear Mum. Inspired and humbled by your dedication, bless ya X
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First ever go at wallpapering. Thought downstairs loo was lacking personality. Not sure what I was thinking? One thing's for damned sure, I'd get a professional in if I ever had a daft idea like this again
#LockdownDIYdisasters
(I do read in there though, sorry, hence the theme)
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👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@WiganWarriorsRL
but....
Stuck in London far from home, if you're
@Saints1890
you're never alone. What a win, what a win! The bookie's underdog bites back. Tough game, ultimate exame of
@SuperLeague
skill, passion & dedication...but YEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!
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Please come home
@Lionesses
& remind yourselves over time of all that you've achieved.
Today's loss is a heart-wrenching, bitter chunk of 'what might've been'
but ultimately, it'll form a building block, a stepping stone towards a winning future shaped by your heroics 👏🏽🏴❤️
It's been an amazing year and we're so proud of our journey – making history on and off the pitch.
We've truly felt your support from back home and here with us in Australia. THANK YOU!
Your
#Lionesses
❤️
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Here's to those who chose never to surrender to tyranny and fight so we might celebrate this day despite despite adversity, cheers!
#VEDay2020
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So singer & word maestro
@PaulHeatonSolo
is so bloody generous as to put money behind the bar of 60 pubs so we can all celebrate a drink on his 60th Birthday? A toast from everyone here at St.Helen's
#BirdithHand
A truly generous soul & one of my genuine inspirations. Cheers! ❤
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Wrote this on the anniversary of my dear Dad’s passing. Think it’s time to share it now. Not for platitudes, just because if anyone else is in this space, time does heal, their smile gradually gives you strength, their qualities live on in you x
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It's been a year Mam & not day has gone by that I don't miss you terribly. As a family we'll raise a glass to you this evening on Zoom & do our very best to find fond reasons to smile instead of shedding tears. Love ya, thanks for all you gave & gave ❤X
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Happy Christmas one and all but especially us in our bubble of one ❤ X
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So, honestly, I rarely, in fact never enjoy watching myself back on the telly. Having said that, I too genuinely look forward to Thursday's
@taskmaster
on
@Channel4
now. It's my new Shooting Stars, my opportunity to commit wholeheartedly to daftness. Thanks for the memories X
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Mini-me put his foot down and banned me from buying these Adidas knock offs for poolside.
asidad
....the no1 choice for embarrassing parents who can't be arsed with branded labels
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Happy 80th Birthday to the guvnor, Sir David Jason. Still giving his all and teaching us young upstarts more than a thing or two about this craft we call comedy. Raising a piña colada in your honour Squire (Well a Guinness with a mini brolly in it ☂️) Cheers and good health!
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Not exactly the turkey & all the trimmings I was relying on but at least this signifies the party has started. Not a classic cracker hat but can't pull 'em alone so this'll do. Listening to James Brown's Funky Christmas I bloody love you lot...aaaoooow! X
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I still go to call you whenever I see Vera is on the telly, or
@marksandspencer
announce a sale. Definitely never forgotten. Miss ya Ma, happy birthday ❤Xxxx
Remembering this little Queen today, on what would have been her 79th Birthday. Gone but never forgotten ❤️
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Buying your own pub signs back from
@Herring1967
was rough but as series go, thank you
@AlexHorne
@gdavies
@taskmaster
@Channel4
it's been one helluva ride. A worthy winner and the best craic I've had in a long, long time 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Thanks for the memories x
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Thank you
@DogsTrust
@DT_Merseyside
for this wee guy. He’s not a part of the family, he’s the heart of it X
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It helps if you don't think of it as lockdown, more a lifestyle choice X
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It was privatised, a privilege of the few, hence people went without basic healthcare. It became the
@NHS
post WW2 and millions benefited as a result. Depriving it of funds thus claiming it requires privatising again is like pissing on my neck and telling me its raining.
This healthcare system desperately needs privatising just like most of the worlds and not just USA’s
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I try & keep things light on here but I dread being the generation who's legacy to our children is a private health care system
#HuntMustGo
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There's a sadness within that surpasses frustration, politics, anger, loss, distance, loneliness, health, ineptitude, my youngest & oldest born either stressed or drifting. I'm so demoralised by hypocrisy or ineptitude yet have to find faith & ongoing love in us, our society x
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Stunning
#Beaumaris
You’re missing a feisty wee lady on a shop mobility scooter but she’s here in spirit and you never fail to fill up my senses.,Love it here, as did she. Early Merry Christmas Mum X
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Turning in now, Mam and I have an early start. Thank you so much for your lovely response. I will ensure my phone is fully charged and will read them all out to Ma Vegas in the morning during pre-op. She’ll feel the love and we as a family are grateful for your kind thoughts X
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Yet again, despite our smiles in the face of adversity, we owe
@sthknhs
3D,
@nhsemployers
@NHSuk
another massive debt of thanks for looking after Ma Vegas. Always we are humbled by your dedication to minding those nearest & dearest to us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts X
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She scares me, but in a dangerously hilarious way
#daisymaycooper
you're my hero/heroine 🌈💚
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Bit partial to an after dinner chocolate mint is Ma Vegas
#CantTakeHerAnywhere
#MoneysWorth
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“If somebody has a knife, give ‘em your phone, your trainers, anything they want, just get home safe ‘cause you’re irreplaceable” I used to worry about Philip Larkin’s foreboding text, never imagined that this conversation would become common place between my teenage lad and I
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Well Doddy, as send off's go that was one the most touching & heartfelt that it has ever been my privilege to be witness to. The warmth & laughter that signified your life echoed throughout Liverpool's Anglican Cathedral. You remain the very embodiment of happiness, RIP Dear Ken
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Other than seeing family & friends it's a weekend my internal diary's been putting off for a while. Dad's first anniversary since his passing. I might be all over twitter but most likely under the radar. Either way thank you in advance for your support over the last 12 months x
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Come on sleep, find me please. We've always had an awkward relationship but with no school run, no work & reflux from crisp butty's I'll do you a deal. Carry me away tonight & tomorrow I'll buy toilet duck bleach, brush & raise standards around this vacuous space of a home x
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"If you think you've done the right thing, then it's a bit difficult to apologise" I'm sorry Michael Howard, but if there's nothing to apologise for, according to your moral rhetoric, why is a nation feeling so utterly bereft of trust in those setting these flexible guidelines?
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The best dogs
@BBCBreakfast
are rescue dogs. Thanks to
@DogsTrust
this guy, having been abandoned, melts your heart without realising he rescued us X
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Woke up and worked out what day it was by sniffing the milk. Hope you're all doing okay on this grey and drizzly Tuesday morning 🌈💚x
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Before I turn in though I have to say, the only reason I could go and hold a mic this weekend is because I knew these superstars were minding Ma Vegas. Thanks to all of you on 3C, day and night teams, everyone at our second to none
@sthknhs
and all within our
@NHSuk
#loveyounhs
X
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Dear Lol. I stopped calling you Dad years ago, once I served you behind the CMS bar. Not a day gone have you not been missed, your chuckle mainly and ability to teach us to laugh in the face of adversity yet retain compassion. Owt good in me came from you and Mum, bless ya x
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Morning all. Woke up in what I consider a fairly good mood. 15 minutes of
@BBCBreakfast
has soon put paid to that. Thank you
@mrdanwalker
for perusing what we will never receive, a satisfactory answer. I'm not the witch hunting type, I just feel a tad demoralised to say the least
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Thank you
@NHSEngland
for the all clear with Mum, we'd be lost without you X (No DNA test needed here, she's basically me in a wig 😉)
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Dear Man and Dad, guess what?
@Saints1890
only went and bloody did it! What a day, thank you both for raising us to believe in a club that represents our town in the most admirable way. Get in you great lads, hope
#SaintsWomen
can follow it up tomorrow x
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So tonight, 10pm, I'm here for the final part of Patricia's journey to
@GlampingField
@BreaksFoldFarm
in
#JVglamping
Your support for our
@Channel4
series has been honestly overwhelming. All involved have felt the love and your shared passion. She's all yours now to enjoy ❤X
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So lovely of the Prescot Road/Grange Park
@SPARintheUK
team to ask how the non smoking is going? Appreciate the moral support despite your massive drop in profits, thanks 🙂
7 days free but no time to brag or feel smug. Fingers crossed the shouting at Squirrels will end soon x
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And this is the joy of
@SuperLeague
Fans across the board mixing, having the craic, pre match
@TheChallengeCup
banter but zero hassle, young & old.
My heart belongs to
@Saints1890
but love for League is shared by us all. Already a great day but we wanna come home with the cup x
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I cannot emphasise enough how humbled and grateful we are as a family when it comes to the care and dedication provided by the amazing folk who keep our
@NHSuk
going day in day out. Thank you
@sthknhs
for coming to the rescue yet again. We’d be truly lost without you
#loveyounhs
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I implore anyone with love, respect or reliance for our
@NHSuk
to share this video. Irrespective of my political beliefs, this amazing young doctor is unafraid to share her personal experience of the dismantling of one of our single greatest achievements as a society.
Tweeting this again as Cummings and his mob keep trying to get it taken down...
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Do you know what, for the first time in a long, long time, I’m in a proper good mood. Maybe it’s ‘cause it’s match day, or the prospect of going home to Ma Vegas, but I can feel the smile from within. Hope this feeling lasts as I’m finding it rather refreshing :)
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My everyday superstars. Thank you, thank you, thank you
@sthknhs
@NHSEngland
for the vital healthcare, dedication and kindness above and beyond the call of duty that Ma Vegas is receiving right now. We'd be lost without you 😘 X
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Anyone with a voice, wether we agree or not, I implore you
#RegisterToVote
otherwise, talk to the hand (old school diss)
Sincerely, shape your future by voting for what you believe in, what is worth defending and what might be lost if we don’t make ourselves heard
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Yeah, Mini-me finds his old codger of a Dad hilarious
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Every now and then, with a heavy heart that needs a win, do you get to witness
@jamajestical
of whome you've been more than a fan of for years & just deeply appreciative of her's &
@PaulHeatonSolo
's collaborations realise that
#ManchesterCalling
has topped the charts? ❤❤❤❤❤
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Watching Sid Little talking about the sad passing of his lifelong comedy friend Eddie Large fair brought a lump to the throat and a tear to my eye. A rich part of my comic tapestry growing up you will be greatly missed. Thoughts and prayers are with those closest to you
#RIPEddie
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I know my primary function is to try and entertain but if I'm asked about a subject I'm particularly passionate about then I have to speak from the heart. Always have a laugh with the gang but thank you
@TheLastLeg
for allowing me both options. Love you cookie kids x
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It's a far cry from a Thatto Heath fry up....ooh you've changed Vegas.
Apologies fellow tweeters, busy of late and treating our chats like a bacon butty, sadly an all too rare a treat of late x
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I fear we've created a speed demon. Beware Wales, she's loose and remorseless at 5 mph
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Waiting on discharge after major surgery last Friday and top class care since. Thank you all at
@sthknhs
and please, feel the love ❤️
@NHSuk
#SaveOurNHS
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Ah the wee swell of pride as Mini-me heads off for his first Saturday job shift. It ain’t exactly
@Argos_Online
where his old Dad started out but at least he’s grafting. Final nagging words of advice to him as an ex bar man “If you’ve time to lean, you’ve time to clean”
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Good morning 🌈 Hope you're coping with your self isolation wherever you are. Feel the ��� especially our front line heroes X
#bedhead
#Stayhomestaysafe
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Lovely family turnout for Dad this morning. And don't worry Lol, we've got your bets on for Cheltenham next week. A sad day but together we're doing our best to find the memories to smile about.
RIP Laurence x
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Holiday 2 underway. A far more relaxed affair with Ma Vegas in tow and en-route to Anglesey. Well relaxed now that she's got her wine fix and sausage roll
#poorwomanshipflask
;)
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