Jessi Rihanna ❤️
@Jessi_Rihanna
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15,284
Following
487
Media
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Statuses
18,147
on a typical Friday night i am experiencing surgery
new york city
Joined May 2013
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DEAR CUNT, I am writing this COVER LETTER BECAUSE I WANT THE FUCKING KOB. Not because I want to ducking IMPRESS YOU MORON. I DONT like to work. I like having sex and getting drunk and making men GO PSYCHIC with their horny nut obsession (in love with me). I JUST MEED CASH, idiot.
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What is an OOMF?!?! Sometimes I pray to god some of you get a fucking grip
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Imagine Biden. Now imagine he has hands and arms full of beautiful, tasteful Henna tattoos. Not appropriation, he was just invited to a desi wedding. ❤️ thoughtful
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Hey all,
It’s with a heavy heart, heavy breasts, heavy lips, heavy pubic hair, and heavy thighs that I can longer work my shift in one hour 😢🕊It would mean the world to us all if anyone could cover it.
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I don’t like Barack Obama. I like wine, pasta, uncut cock, making out, dancing like a fucking bat out of hell, driving very very very fast, martinis, my crazy as fuck friends, casual sex, spreading love, curing my STIs, flirting with girls, orgasming with my lovers, and Christmas
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I LOVE my psychiatric meds. But I really wanna do a “wife swap” with someone else’s! This could help give me a perspective I need
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I LOVE when the dick is so fat and long and dripping with precum. So fucking yummy uncut yummy hard cock!
Bernie Sandars for president as well.
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This is how my mom died :(
A woman completely disappearing behind Scarlett Johansson on the red carpet
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Alcoholism :( apparently this was a disease in like the 50s that made it harder to drive
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I’m so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so lonely and smart
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You are not smart, you are not funny, you are not loved, you are not enough, you are on this site for a reason, and that reason is you are bad. That’s my advice for all of you.
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Fuck. I love cocaine, drinking wine, being brilliant, always being controversial, naturally empathic, intuitive, making friends, having sex with 27 year olds, making my uncle fucking furious, visiting the clinic, slamming the floor with swiffer wet pads, and eating as little as
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Mewtwo can prescribe psychiatric meds in the Pokémon universe. Almost all psychic types can. It’s just something that doesn’t happen often because there is a stigma around mental health. We need to start talking about this shit .
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I am allergic to
Employment.
I am looking, however, for a maximum wage job
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You “love” America? So what. I don’t. I love wine, falling in love after one fuck, sleeping all day and night, being VERY over the top depressed, self massage, stealing from Whole Foods, curing my rash, gut health, and having 99+ frat boys sacrificing their souls for me
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So the word TWINK stands for This Way I Never Kill. It’s a pacifist thing. It’s about anti-violence… I am not 100% sure about that but i am like 99% sure
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“Hurt people hurt people”
Umm, no (?) what about “most people are bi after a beer or two”
Much more eloquent and more positive/true
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I deleted a tweet that many of you rightly pointed out was offensive. I’ve read your responses and I hear you. My tweet was careless and thoughtless. Truly. The movie was telling the story of a rat who dreamt of becoming a chef, whose experience doesn’t show up enough in movies
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So I think we can all agree that sandy was a closeted ace lesbian 😢 isolating herself from her unaccepting southern upbringing. There are some episodes where she tries to confront her family and they are really homophobic
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Omg I am so sorry I am late :( I accidentally went to McDonald’s and shot a 20 minute mukbang :( i knowww. It’s so hard
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So when I had sex with my clone I had normal sex, and we didn’t use this kind of weird language to describe the beauty of it
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Cum with a high % of nicotine in it
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I am conducting a train rn (new job). I am so creative the train is actually derailed and all the passengers are pleasantly surprised! I am heading toward the beach for a beautiful change of scenery, and then of course to the OceanGate submersible site to investigate ❤️
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Yes this is where I lived abroad between 2010 and 2011! I can still smell the paella 🤤
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I’m bi. I’m drunk. I’m sexy. I’m strong. I’m spirited. I’m wine. I’m online. I’m manipulative. I’m baby.
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I talk about sex on here a lot because I am scared. Climate change is real and people are denying it. Vintage clothing is our cure but no one wants to say it. I feel like STIs aren’t such a big deal anymore, and if you have hot sex, everyone just is jealous. I looove yoga.
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If you are a new follower, E-hello! 👋😙
I’m Jessi. I weigh 32 years old. I’m always regretting my past, and I can’t resist 😍
Let’s follow each other to discover how low a person can fall
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Waitress: are you guys doing OK?
Me: I have internalized biphobia.
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So what most don’t realize is that she is 3’8” and this is very normal sized kitchen island
My kitchen island is soooo big!!! I can’t wait till it’s completely finished 🖤
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Admiring my beautiful anus with a hand mirror, I suddenly think about the bernie movement in 2016. Such a complex moment in time…
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I am the kind of scientist who puts a little lipgloss on before I stare deep into the microscope 🔬 and then wrap my lips around the tube and go down all the way to the base! 👄
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This is what my best friends’ desks look like at their apartments! They work from home and are sooo productive! Some of the drinks were purchased in 2018
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Ugh I’m so sorry guys :( I just had such a weird week for the last 23 years
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I hate men. That’s why my heart is always broken :( I’m so weak and sad :(
SIKE, you dumb kindergarten. Bitch like you need to learn pronto. I move on to a new personality EVERY day the second I’m inconvenienced. I manipulate EVERYTHING I TOUCH. I’ve never felt FEAR. Just.. FUCK
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my daughter just said: “why does the media air the looting but not the police brutality that continues to occur against the protestors. it’s as if they want to divide the citizens and inflame the problems we already have for ratings”
she’s 18 months old
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We collaborate on a project in the sciences.
Very soon we discover a rather peculiar phenomenon, and I shoot out a grant application while you do a deep dive on the math.
Lasers, biomechanics and AI come together and even take a detour into mental health sciences.
Nobel Prize.
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I want to arch my back and go orf
I want Biden to be replaced by friend Samira, brilliant girl
I want to do mushrooms and Molly with my lovers.
I need the climate to be fixed ASAP!
I need to work 20 hrs a year.
I need honestly uncut cock.
I want the stock market GONE.
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I am really good best friends with florence pug, and basically what we need right now is $300 to my cash app
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I am boiling my clothing for my job interview tomorrow 😍 I use chicken stock because it adds an amazing flavor, “hmm what is that?!” is what I am going for. And I expect I’ll end up naked anyway bc I am so open minded
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I am in the charli xcx music video. I am in the trunk of one of the cars
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I can take a Buffalo wing. and tie it into a knot in my mouth 👄 pull it out so so fucking sexy 😩 there’s still so much meat too 🤤 and my teeth are very fucked up after 👼 like a baby
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Hey!
@ChipotleTweets
how do you feel about hosting a weekly dyke night
Just watched my ex’s story from the chipotle account 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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I made a planned parenthood in Rollercoaster Tycoon 2
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“I have PANIC DISORDER. Let that sink in you basic, boring cunt. I panic. I disorder. I AM WRONG at my core. I am SCARED, so fucking FUCKING weak. PLAGUED by sick, perverted sexual fantasies. I am HAUNTED by desire!!”
-me auditioning for a job at Chipotle
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When I was 16 I invented a cure for cancer but i kept it very secret because of social anxiety.
If we RT I might be able to overcome 💋
Can we spread love instead of hate? And maybe even flirt and cum while we are at it
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Omg! I was just talking about you. Negatively of course .
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I got to 99 and then I went deep sea diving after and found the most gorgeous pearls.. after that i decided to take an underwater nap as well…
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a24 needs to make a movie about me masteurbating at home
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a "boiler room" is an event where many low-moral individuals meet up to enable each other.
the music is self-harming, and drug abuse is the standard.
afterward, many individuals die or commit crimes.
many children also get involved sacrificially.
there are even reports of sorcery
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Everywhere is BYOB if you have an ounce of fucking bravery
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If someone is not interested in me sexually they need to calm down, grow up, and accept that they are in the wrong
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Yes it does
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My job resume (if someone can print this for my
@job
interview today)
Jessi Rihanna. Age: 18, weight: 100%.
Job experiences/
1. Qdoba
Nearly hired. Showed explicit video to manager.
/“2
Education:
Reddit and Yourubeww
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So I do all of this daily in order to make my depresión go .01 inches toward happy
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“GO!! Fuck. FUCKING GO!!!!!!” -me yelling at other cars while I drive my Swiffer wet jet on the freeway
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SpongeBob = neurodivergent, asexual, apolitical, sociophillic, queer platonic, mentally ill, spectrum 2 persona, queer, obsessive compulsive, histrionic persona, subjugation schema, pathological sociofunctionality.
If you don’t get that you really missed the point of the show.
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I am watching a video of a guy fucking a girl!
Super jealous!
I want to fall in love, too, y’know!?
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A group of white guys is not called a podcast I looked it up because it sounded so dumb and I was right it’s fake
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I am so so sorry to say that I can not come into work my shift tonight :( I have to shower next week and things are just getting super hectic, and I need to process in addition to prioritizing mental health in light of this. Paid sick leave ?
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Catholic dick is better than atheist dick 😂
But for real, we need to figure out this whole crimate crisis thing. The icebergs/glaciers might seem gay, but they actually matter
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