Jeremy, Collector of Parks
@JeremyWingert79
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Here to connect and to stay afloat. Married. Dad of 2. Hiker of trails. Adorer of music & movies. Nomadic wanderer of the exvangelical wilds. Carpe of the diem.
Near the Appalachian Trail
Joined September 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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My bandwidth is lacking at the moment, so I didn't write a piece this week. But I'm very proud of this one from late 2022, which shouts out Garden State as well as one of my favorite things on earth to shout out.
From the rooftops. Now and always.
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My hot take is that most of us have not adequately processed the trauma of the pandemic. And our sprawling, unprocessed trauma chews away at our brains in myriad ways that make us anxious about why we can’t seem to live our lives as instinctively or as joyously as we did in 2019.
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I would like to believe that the dozens of cheap little day trips I/we take with our kids add up to exactly the same amount of joy & happy memories as all the far-flung, picture-perfect tropical vacations everyone else is enjoying.
I would like to believe it.
And so I will.
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I don’t make a lot of money and I never really did anything with my English degree. But I’m giving my kids a magical childhood, filled with nature adventures. And constant reminders of my love.
So if you ask me “What do you do?”
That’s what I do.
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Hey guys, remember when most holiday greeting cards said "Season's Greetings" in the '80s and '90s — with no reference to Christmas — and absolutely no one cared at all, even slightly?
I think about that sometimes.
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Holy smokes, you guys. Thank you so much for the solidarity. It means a lot to know that others have a similar feeling about all of this. (Even if I did overstate the “joy” of 2019. I do remember a different kind of angst in the Trump era, but Covid amplified that exponentially.)
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Also, I might delete this. And I don’t specifically know why, other than that I’ll feel self-conscious if no one else feels the same way.
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By the way, I tweeted this from the Appalachian Trail on a pretty random impulse. I know I shouldn’t tweet while hiking, but my mental health was rickety this morning and the theory just struck me (yet again) in that moment, out in the fresh air.
Anyway, hiking is the best.
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I feel like people who are anti-oatmeal raisin cookies maybe have never eaten one that's incredibly soft and/or homemade.
This is a top 5 cookie, easily.
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Let’s say a person makes $20,000 a year. The doctrine of “tithing” I grew up with tells that person they need to give their church $2,000 a year.
How many low-income people do you know who can afford to give $2,000 a year?
NONE. That’s my answer.
Tithing theology is theft.
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This is all very new to me. Two weekends in a row where I wrote something that was somehow seen by a lot of people. It feels surreal. Grateful for the resonance on this particular open wound.
I tweet about fatherhood, mental health, music, and movies. Thanks for listening.
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I grew up Baptist & this one thing I know:
A child can *not* meaningfully consent to a faith-based experience.
To proselytize a child — to nudge him to get “saved” or to “ask Jesus into his heart” — is an act of spiritual manipulation.
Never, ever convert a child.
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McKay Coppins:
My wife and I got back from voting and found our 5yo in tears that she didn't get to come. So I took her to the polling place and gave her a little patriotic talk about America and democracy.
On the way back she told me she thought mom had said we went "boating."
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One of my hottest wedding takes is that unless you are somehow already independent wealthy (or semi-wealthy), you should not spend more than $500 on an engagement ring.
YOU WILL NEED SO MUCH MONEY TO BE MARRIED. Especially in 2023.
Screw anyone’s opinion about your ring.
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I helped defused a bedtime meltdown by ignoring our 5yo’s bad behavior and offering to show her & her brother old videos of them on my phone.
Can someone tell me that’s valid parenting? One of the highest functions of this site is casual affirmation for tired parents, right? 😬
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Evangelicals: It's awful that an engaged woman is having sex with her fiancé.
Also evangelicals: It's fine that a thrice-married man cheated on all 3 wives and also bragged that he grabs women by the genitals because he's famous and can get away with it. In fact, we love him!
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When someone says "I'm so thankful God protected them!" about a harrowing event that didn't end badly, how do you feel?
All I can think is: "What about the other guy whose loved one *did* experience the bad outcome?"
The faith-based framing feels false to me now. How about you?
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Yesterday I attended a funeral, and I need to get something off my chest.
I've been to a handful of evangelical funerals since I deconstructed, and each time I've been left with the same thudding sense of disappointment in the people who raised me.
Here's what I mean:
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Tonight I explained to my 7yo what phones were like when I was a kid. He was completely mystified and said “How would you listen to music at night on your phone if it was in the kitchen?!”
How indeed, buddy. How indeed.
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Just to clarify, I am not a through hiker! I wish I had done that in my 20s, but I missed the opportunity. Now I have 2 young kids, who I take on hikes whenever I can. And I take a solo hike every week, like I did yesterday.
God bless all A.T. through hikers! I admire you all.
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A funeral is a time to mourn, and to celebrate, an individual human life. A person with a thousand unique qualities and quirks and contributions to the world.
Here's what a funeral should *not* be, under any circumstances: An opportunity to "win souls." A moment to exploit.
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This pastoral practice at funerals has gone uncriticized for far too long.
It is is shallow, reductive, manipulative, and distasteful. It is surely not of God. (At least not any good God in whose image we were "fearfully and wonderfully made.")
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So I beg every pastor who presides over a funeral of a "saved" person: Please don't preach a sermon. Or, God forbid, do an altar call.
Just honor the person's life. That's all that matters at a funeral. Specifics about their journey. Not nebulous spiritualized jargon.
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As for funerals of the so-called "unsaved"? For people (like me) you think are damned because they didn't pray your "sinner's prayer" or, God forbid, deconstructed?
For the sake of the bereaved, I hope you don't come anywhere near one.
Everyone deserves to rest in peace.
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I re-realized this a few years ago, watching their shows with my kids.
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Hersheypark has a wonderful Christmas Candylane event each year. My kids love it (when we get free tickets). Wanna know what it costs?
FIFTY-FOUR BUCKS A PERSON, INCLUDING KIDS, PLUS TWENTY-FIVE BUCKS TO PARK.
That's $241.00 for a family of 4.
I mean... the greed is palpable.
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And perhaps even more crucial, an evangelical funeral like the one I attended yesterday largely overlooks the person herself.
In this case, loving mother of 5 and avid hiker who was a dedicated LPN for 20 years. The individual woman we were there to mourn and celebrate.
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Many people in my family have been to and loved Ark Encounter, some multiple times.
My kids are 7 and 5, and I know my brother and my parents would love it if I took them to Ark Encounter.
I do not want to take my kids to Ark Encounter. At all. Even a little. For many reasons.
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Seeing teenagers walking around at the mall with their friends makes me miss having friends to walk around places with.
I adore my kids.
But adulthood is lonely.
Friendship is hard to come by.
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@AdamSchefter
10 solid hours of football on each of the 2 most family-oriented days of the year.
Thanks, NFL. Your greed is truly impressive.
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Newsboys lyrics, 1996-2002:
'96:
Isabelle is a belly dancer
With a kleptomaniac's restraint
Tried stealing Helena's hand basket
Made a fast getaway
But McQueen she ain't
'02:
It is you we adore
It is you praises are for
Holy holy is our God Almighty
Holy holy is his name alone
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The pastor at this funeral (which was for my friend's sweet 83yo mom) spent a majority of his 25-minute sermon proselytizing.
Telling us we need to accept Jesus as our savior so we can end up in the same place as the woman we were mourning.
He even mentioned "hellfire."
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BREAKING NEWS: In the PA primary for GOP Senate, it's too close to call between the one awful male candidate and the other awful male candidate. The awful female candidate, on the other hand, has come in 3rd place.
Stay tuned for results.
#PASenate
#DrOz
#McCormick
#Barnette
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I’m planning to get the new C***d vaccine on Saturday. Anyone care to congratulate me, give me advice, or tell me I’m an idiot?
Nothing is out of bounds. I expect every possible response at this point.
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That's right, he used that word. He asked us, if we were the next one he was asked to do a funeral for, whether we knew we would be in heaven or if we would instead be enduring "hellfire."
Because of course, everyone either gets eternal bliss or eternal conscious torment.
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Please, please don't post videos of parents spanking (hitting) their children. I don't have the emotional bandwidth. It makes me want to give up on humanity. It makes the whole world go dark. There is almost nothing I hate more than adults hitting children. Absolutely grotesque.
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Did other parents go through a harrowingly vivid ordeal in their minds today, picturing what it would be like to fall off a bridge into a river with your kids in the backseat? Trying to picture the window implications & how to get the kids to the surface?
God bless Baltimore. 😢
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My kids are 6 and 4. And unlike me when I was 6 (or even 4), they don't have any sense that:
~ They are sinners
~ They deserve punishment
~ A man was brutally crucified
~ Satan or Hell exists
Have my wife and I done them a disservice?
I'd like to think we've done them a favor.
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26 years ago, Rich Mullins died in a car crash.
He was the sharpest wit and the truest, most tormented soul the CCM industry ever knew… and oversimplified. He gave most of his money away and ended up nearly destitute.
I hold many of his songs close to my heart.
[1/2]
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My favorite Marches:
1. Jo March
2. March of the Penguins
3. Hmm, I really thought I’d be able to come up with more Marches than this
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@JOEL9ONE
Oh totally. My favorite is witnessing the following exchange:
Person A: "Hi, how are you?"
Person B: "Good, how are you doing?"
Person A: "Pretty good, how are you?"
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Hey you know that patriarchy-loving Wife? The one who’s Transformed?
She makes money. A lot of it. Off us all being mad at her every day.
Maybe we can stop paying her bills.
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I'm not sure that anything has ever demoralized me more than Donald Trump's ascendancy in this country.
And what makes it doubly demoralizing is that it was the people of "faith" who raised me (my mom *not* included) that lifted him up. And continue to do so.
Truly disturbing.
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Someone should write a book about how the Newsboys morphed from one of the boldest, most ingenious CCM bands of the ‘90s (via the lyrical prowess of Steve Taylor) into one of the most thuddingly dull, Christofascist CCM bands of all time.
God’s not dead, but their legacy is.
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It's one thing to endure a 5yo meltdown at home.
It's another thing *entirely* to endure a 5yo meltdown at your parents' house, and even worse if there are other relatives there too.
It's claustrophobic
It's nerve-shredding.
And it's humiliating.
Parenting is so very hard.
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I honestly believe that for the remaining duration of my life, nothing will *ever* make less sense than Donald Trump still having a huge contingent of die-hard supporters in 2023, after 1 chaotic presidency, 1 insurrection, 4 indictments, and 1,000 reprehensible statements.
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So wait, the Trump Bible is KJV? They picked a version that even most evangelicals by now have *cough* left behind? I really don't get it.
WHO BUYS A KJV BIBLE IN 2024?!
Especially one that's cluttered up with the Pledge of Allegiance and the lyrics to some Lee Greenwood song.
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@jimmyfallon
I grew up in church, and there was a popular Amy Grant song called "El Shaddai." I thought for a while that it was called "Hell Should Die."
#MisheardLyrics
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A year ago, my wife asked our then-6yo what he would name his band if he had one. His adorably psychedelic response?
Tiger Who Climbed a Tree & Ate The Sky
Rock and roll, buddy boy. 🎸
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Wow, everyone. This site is so filled with bile some days (and some of it is my own), but then a thread like this restores my faith in humanity (including my own). Thanks for this towering wall of positivity and solidarity around simple living! I needed this. 💚
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@Clack_Katzroy
@bossofme7
@ohJuliatweets
Holy shit, man. This is about the most ruthlessly bad-faith reply I've ever seen (to a valid tweet), and 440+ people like the reply? This place is toxic.
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I’ve gone 50 days without Lexapro.
With it, my emotions were muted.
Without it, I wept copious tears watching It’s a Wonderful Life tonight. And I’ve felt deep pangs of emotion, from euphoria to sadness.
This Christmas, I’m profoundly grateful to feel again. Emotion is life.
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The Bible is not a science textbook.
The Bible is not a science textbook.
The Bible is not a science textbook.
The Bible is not a science textbook.
The Bible is not a science textbook.
This tweet is for my brother, my dad, and my Sunday school teachers. None of whom will see it.
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@sewistwrites
"In the Biblical era, God chose a nation as his favorite and then told that nation to genocide other nations."
(Oh wait, I might have just turned it up to 11 on a tweet where I should have dialed it back to 8.)
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As I said goodnight to my 4yo, I held her face close to mine and whispered: “Can you not grow up quite as fast? Maybe just slow down a little?” Without missing a beat, she whispered back in the sweetest but matter-of-fact-est voice:
“That’s just how I do my life.”
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Saying an 81-year-old is too old to hold office and then planning to vote for a 77.5-year-old is pretty much the definition of staggering, stupefying hypocrisy.
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@StephanoMedina
@DavidAFrench
I'm sad to say that, despite French's morally cogent take on *almost* everything, you're correct on that last point. I truly don't understand why you're not seeing what so many of us are seeing,
@DavidAFrench
. The list of damning details is growing longer every day.
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What they thought I would do
while/after I deconstructed:
~ Drink
~ Do drugs
~ Have sex
~ Become an atheist
What I actually did while/after
I deconstructed:
~ Have an existential crisis
~ Stay inside my evangelical
college dorm a lot
~ Continue believing God exists
~ Panic
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This is a microcosm of the shift in CCM around 2000, when praise & worship became the most profitable game in town and creative lyricism was pureed into nebulous rah-rah spiritual jargon.
The irony is that the same 2 brilliant guys, Steve Taylor & Peter Furler, wrote both songs.
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C.S. Lewis was almost a century ahead of his time when it comes to calling bullshit on Christian nationalism.
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I “asked Jesus into my heart” when I was 5 (what kid wouldn’t?) and multiple times later to be sure. Grew up petrified I hadn’t done it right & would miss the Rapture. I have heard so many people talk about getting kids “saved” as an act of piety. It’s a desecration of childhood.
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Wow, thanks for the love & warm solidarity! It means a lot that despite the, you know, problematic aspects of this place, it has somehow become a place of community for me. (I know that's an outlier position right now). I never dreamed I'd finally find my niche here.
So thanks.
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I enjoyed some outdoor time with just my son (for once) and tried to savor every minute. He is sweet and absentminded and smart and oh so offbeat. He lives on his own singular wavelength.
These moments are the breath in my lungs, allowing me to exhale even when I feel down.
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@GinnaCross
@MurielVieux
"If your 3yo annoys you, the problem is likely you."
This is the hyperbole. Everyone is annoyed by people in their lives, young kids *definitely* included. It's just part of being human. You don't need to pretend parenting is perfect bliss. It's not helpful and can be hurtful.
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This is a thuddingly awful take in so many ways. His basic premise is: All men are untrustworthy, and potential pedophiles. Gay men especially.
I long for a world where men like Matt Walsh have their Twitter platform removed for the good of humanity.
This is dangerous rhetoric.
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@DavidAFrench
Just to be clear, do elections only have consequences for 3 out of the 4 years of the elected president's term? Or all 4?
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I took this shot in one of my favorite places on Earth — Zion National Park.
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I have a feeling that evangelical men who like to proclaim women the “weaker vessel” were not paying close attention when their wife gave birth.
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My friends, I *promise* you that The Tra*sformed Wi*e will never, ever change her regressive, self-loathing ideology because of your QT grenades. And that she quite likely enjoys being the controversial center of attention.
Please.
For the love of God.
Let's move on from her.
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@TweetPotato314
This is so brilliant that I'm mad at myself for not thinking of it.
Those are always the best tweets.
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@Clack_Katzroy
Yes, "allow me to have educational freedom" is indeed valid.
Accusing someone randomly of Holocaust denial?
NOT F***ING VALID.
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The odd thing about this kind of self-flagellation, which I grew up with, is that it’s deeply narcissistic. Utter fixation on your own badness (even when you do good!) is self-obsession.
It’s fake piety. And it doesn’t make the world better. Might even do the exact opposite.
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In every marriage with children, one parent should take the kids on a long outing a few days before Christmas so the other parent can wrap gifts and/or decompress. (Mine was a breezy 5-hour jaunt to a playground and a mall.)
This is a pillar of my parental ethos.
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I’m way, *way* out of the reading habit. But I’m embarking on this timely book, which weirdly is subtitled: “How Almost Every Single Person Who Raised or Taught Little Baptist Jeremy (Other Than His Mom) Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation.”
How did you know,
@KKDumez
?
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I truly can’t fathom that I have 230 new followers since this morning. What even is life?
I don’t know my Enneagram, but I’m now wary of letting everyone down.
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I have never taught my small, innocent children that God once got frustrated and drowned 99% of humanity, because they were imperfect by nature.
And I can definitely live with that.
(Anyway, the kids seem alright.)
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Thanks for the solidarity! My extended family is still largely in thrall to the 10% tithing theology, and it increasingly bums me out. If my wife & I gave 10% of our income to a church, it would be a dereliction of our parenting duties. We simply don't (nearly) have that money.
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There are many things I would like to say here, which I don’t say here.
I wish that I could say them here, but I simply can’t say them here.
Some of them, I can’t say anywhere.
I wish I could say them *somewhere*.
We all feel this way, right?
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Here’s an honest, non-snarky, non-strident question:
Why would God design some animals to be capable of switching genders, but then be categorically opposed to people choosing to do that very thing?
Wouldn’t a rigidly binary Creator have created a rigidly binary animal kingdom?
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Well shoot. I am once again reminded that this site provides great solidarity in the deconstruction realm. I appreciate the resonance. I was given a “choice” but I never had a choice. I only knew one narrative. I would’ve been nuts to not pick “heaven” over “hell.”
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My bastions of sanity
& mental health:
~ NPR
~ Nature
~ Black tea
~ Classical music
~ Parks with my kids
I'd like to add a few more to the list.
What are your bastions?
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A number of people in my timeline are talking about Jonathan Edwards. And all I know is this:
"Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" is one of the most toxic worldviews that I have ever encountered. It underestimates both humanity and God.
And it has done *so* much damage.
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@DavidAFrench
Also, it’s totally dishonest for
@benshapiro
to say that “monkey it up” is a “common phrase.” Google it (or at least Google it three hours ago) — virtually no hits for those 3 words as a known phrase.
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@SteevyPalps
@JeremyMonjo
You do realize human beings age, right? (Even those actor type people!)
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This is me…
~ right before a haircut
~ a few hours pre-concert
~ brow furrowed (as usual)
~ trying to will myself out of a winter-long mental health funk
This is me taking a selfie so I can assert my aliveness. My hereness.
My self.
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Whoa. This is bonkers. It’s the 2nd most traction I’ve ever gotten. I’m honored to contribute some positivity to the general discourse. Thanks a lot, everyone.
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Again, I would’ve had to actively distrust my parents at the age of FIVE, and also somehow not like the idea of heaven, to make *any* other choice than praying the prayer they said aloud for me to repeat.
How many kids would say no?
Fish. In. A. Barrel.
It’s not remotely fair.
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@StephenAtHome
Wear your masks, everyone! It's super easy. Heck, I barely even notice mine anymore.
(Also, I love Stephen Colbert more than almost any comedian in the last 20 years. A good dude and a true legend.)
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@LShalott
Please always include a trigger warning for content involving dogs. My childhood dog once got ill and then years later, he died of old age. Thanks in advance for being sensitive.
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@GinnaCross
This has some truth to it (3yos are a lot of fun!) but it's worded way too harshly. And it doesn't account for the fact that some 3yos are truly difficult... in addition to being fun at times too. Do you think everyone has a 3yo that's as sweet/cute as it sounds like yours is?
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@DavidAFrench
Why would he use a phrase that is not even a known colloquialism? It’s so far out of left field. It seems very likely that this had racist undertones.
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@Clack_Katzroy
"It is absolutely none of your business how I choose to educate my child."
You do realize this is correct, right? People can send their kid to whichever school they want (public, private, charter, homeschool).
That's how education works.
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It is surreal to me that on a melancholy morning, while walking in the woods, I wrote a tweet that somehow went viral and my follower count multiplied by 10. I truly don't understand it. At all.
But MAN is it nice to feel seen.
Thank you for seeing me!
I'll try to see you too.
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Or this one, involving a truly legendary rock song:
'96:
Out among free-range sheep
While the big birds sharpen their claws
For a time we stuck with the shepherd
But You wouldn't play Santa Claus
'03:
It's all God's children singin'
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, he reigns
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@SaraGonzalesTX
Hi Sara,
It’s not just a meme. It’s evil.
Stop being evil.
Thanks,
Decent people everywhere
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@ChaseMit
@ReelQuinn
Oh for SURE he is. In fact…
My favorite thing about Ricky Gervais is that I tweeted praise of most every show he's made — The Office, Extras, Derek — but also criticized season 2 of After Life in the same tweet. (While saying that I had enjoyed season 1.)
And he blocked me.
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@AdamSchefter
Ha!! It would have been just 2 games, but Collins appealing it led to them bringing in an arbitrator who ruled it needed to be 5 games.
That’s. Freaking. Hilarious.
(And not just because I’m an Eagles fan.)
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