Jeremy McLellan
@JeremyMcLellan
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Comedian, Christian, dad, mediocre white man, alleged member of the Muslim Cousinhood, to book me for events contact Jeremy.McLellan @gmail .com
Charleston, SC
Joined December 2012
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A Muslim in London just told me Merry Christmas. I smiled and said and Happy Ramadan to you. A beautiful moment of interfaith harmony and a stunning rebuke of Brexit. Then she said but it’s not Ramadan and I said listen granny stop ruining this fake story I need the retweets.
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Remember if your flight gets cancelled most airports have a secret fleet of backup planes with lots of seats but they’re only available if you’re mean enough to low-level employees.
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as in “look up, children, it’s a drone”
I remember when we had a president our children could look up to.
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follow Paul for more maghrib reminders
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Update: I have finally joined the civilized world
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The Muslim man in the video who heroically sacrificed himself to stop the terrorist has been identified as Naeem Rashid from Abottabad, Pakistan. His son Talha was also killed in the attack.
Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.
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This is Palestinian nurse Razan al-Najjar. She is 21 years old. Early today she was shot and killed by Israeli soldiers while treating wounded protesters in Gaza. Targeting medics is a war crime under the Geneva Conventions.
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Just watched Imran Khan’s speech at the United Nations. Genuinely amazed at this man. While I may have written the words, it was his passion and delivery that makes him the best Prime Minister Pakistan has ever had. Shabaash abbu!
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Hamas headquarters has fewer guns than my neighborhood.
The IDF just released their first photos/videos from the Shifa Hospital after last night's raid. I count 10 guns. The IDF has claimed that the "beating heart" of Hamas' operations is beneath Shifa.
Presumably they'll release more photos/videos?
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Can we take Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize away and give it to Imran Khan?
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Pakistanis are the friendliest, most hospitable people on the planet. Ever since I landed everyone keeps telling me “apna mulk waapas jao gora” which means “we love you and welcome to our beautiful land.” So happy right now. ❤️
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very cool Joe here’s another fun one:
“Beware of the supplication of the oppressed, for there is no veil between it and Allah.”
Joe Biden speaks to Million Muslim Votes Summit: "Hadith from the Prophet Muhammad instructs, 'Whomever among you sees a wrong, let him change it with his hand. If he is not able, then with his tongue. If he is not able, then with his heart.'"
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India has now banned me from doing a tour there but I’m going to do it anyway. Just need to wait for a cloudy day so I can get past their radar.
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decades of propaganda about the invincibility and bravery of elite Israeli soldiers wiped out by shakycam GoPro battlefield videos
🔴 Hamas released footage of its engagement with Israeli vehicles in Hay Al-Zaytoun in Gaza.
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Imran Khan wasn’t “arrested” he was illegally kidnapped by the US-backed mafia because he got too popular and their assassination attempt failed. The Pakistani people will not take this lying down. 🇵🇰
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12-year-old Ananya Vinay won the National Spelling Bee so naturally CNN had her on to spell "covfefe" and say some racist stuff to her.
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happy birthday to this great moment in journalism
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Because of Modi’s victory in the elections I have decided to cancel my upcoming 5-week tour in India. I apologize to everyone who bought tickets to my shows but I can’t support this. Will have to go to Pakistan instead.
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رَّبِّ اغْفِرْ وَارْحَمْ وَاَنْتَ خَيْرُ الرّٰحِمِيْنَ
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I literally never heard the phrase “Easter worshippers” before today. We’re called Christians.
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Today I am resigning from PTI and creating a new political party called the PDKM (Please Don’t Kill Me).
The PDKM represents all patriotic Pakistanis who love their country but do not want to be abducted, disappeared, or assassinated for supporting Imran Khan.
Join me! 🇵🇰
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By telling
@RashidaTlaib
to go back to where she came from, Trump has finally endorsed the Palestinian Right of Return. A stunning rebuke to Zionists everywhere.
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Congratulations to India on winning the World Cup 🇮🇳
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Just got fired from the CIA for supporting Imran Khan. Please pray I get a new job soon. 🙏
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Imran Khan ke Liye duaa karligiye. Inki jaan ke upar khatra Hua tha aaj, aur vo zaada nuqsaan se bachgaye. Inko Kohi nahi rok sakhta hai! 🇵🇰
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Leaked photo of the PAF pilot who shot down the Indian jets. Salute.
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Please say a prayer for the stability of Pakistan and the safety of Imran Khan 🇵🇰🙏
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Shout out to this hero who jumped in to stop the assassination attempt on Imran Khan!
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Trump: “Are you from Pakistan? Good, I want a couple of Pakistani reporters. I like them much better than our reporters." 😂
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PTI leader and professor at the University of Illinois being tortured in Pakistan
All the pictures & videos show clearly Gill was tortured both mentally & physically incl sexual abuse - most too gruesome to relate. He was humiliated to break him down. I now have full detailed info. ICT police says it did not inflict any torture. So my question is:
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Just got hired as a voice actor for Israel! Nailed the audition! 🇮🇱
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finally learned how to write my name in Urdu! BIG thanks to my Pakistani neighbor for the help!
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The good news is whoever takes Imran Khan’s place will be so corrupt that we can just raise a bunch of money and bribe them into letting Imran Khan be prime minister. 🇵🇰
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proud to support my brother Omar Suleiman in 🇵🇸
Colin Allred embraced & welcomed this antisemite cleric to the House.
Today, he’s accusing BOTH Israel and America of “genocide”? That is utterly false and a blood libel.
Does Allred agree?
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Please donate, PM needs more houses in London
Pakistan needs your urgent help! Donate to the Prime Minister’s Flood Relief Fund 👇🏼
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Instead of sharing pictures of Asifa, share this instead. The man on the left is Sanji Ram and the man on the right is Deepak Khajuria. Together they kidnapped, drugged, gang-raped, and murdered an 8-year-old girl in Kashmir.
#JusticeForAsifa
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Good morning Pakistan. How was your night? Any big plans for today?
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Fact Check: True
God is great!
Outside White House: 'takbir! allahu akbar!'
I've heard this at multiple points along fence
#March4Palestine
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🚨 This Sunday on Twitter Spaces with
@ImranKhanPTI
and yours truly! Get hyped! 🇵🇰
@akhan4pakistan
,
@MrsSFaisall
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Please say a prayer for all the undercover FBI agents who are now without work because of mosques closing.
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Indian Air Force just invaded Pakistani air space, dropping 1,000kg of tomatoes onto a forest. More updates soon.
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Finally we have proof. Imran Khan was telling the truth.
Leaked document shows United States threatening Pakistan to remove IK because it was neutral in Ukraine.
This was a coup.
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If I suddenly disappear it’s probably because I just told Imran Khan he should hide in Abbottabad because the army never looks there.
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Piers Morgan is a great example of why TV hosts should be judged more by their guest list than their own positions. Doesn’t matter what he thinks, right now he’s one of the only people platforming genuinely diverse viewpoints. I’d rather watch that than a panel of “moderates.”
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Leaving for Pakistan tomorrow where I'll be spending two weeks in the areas around Islamabad with a youth team from
@HelpingHandUSA
. Please say a prayer for our work and follow me on FB, Twitter, and Instagram for daily updates. Pakistan Zindabad! 🇵🇰
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When I clerked for Barrett she tried to adopt me twice against my will, called regular wine cis-substantiated, had a yellow phone with a secure line to the Vatican, and made me read all the memos out loud in Latin while facing away from her. Please Democrats, you must stop her.
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Imran Khan just announced that Pakistan is freeing Wing Commander Abhinandan tomorrow as a peace gesture. Now it’s Modi’s turn.
#SayNoToWar
🙏
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Introducing to the world...John Benedict McLellan! 7 lbs, 14 oz, 21 inches long. Stephanie, Johnny, and Jewell are all doing so well. Thank you to everyone for your prayers! I’m the happiest dad in the whole world!
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BREAKING: Pakistani trees respond to Indian bombing by marching on Delhi
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Playing cricket on top of a mountain in Murree 🏏🇵🇰
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Captured Indian pilot experiences legendary Pakistani hospitality ☕
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When you finally have biryani for the first time
Starting to develop a much better relationship with Pakistan and its leaders. I want to thank them for their cooperation on many fronts.
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Egg Boy is donating the money raised for him to the victims of the New Zealand terrorist attack. Absolute legend. 🥚
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Huge thank you to Pakistan for sending one of their top agents to protect Jewell while I’m gone. 🇵🇰🐦
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There’s a new airport in Islamabad and they haven’t named it yet. In my opinion it should be named
#EdhiAirport
in honor of the legendary humanitarian Abdul Sattar Edhi. RT if you agree!
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Just shot down this drone in front of my house. Nice try India 🇮🇳
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Congratulations to
@ImranKhanPTI
on being officially elected the Prime Minister of Pakistan. Starting now, everything is his fault.
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Leaving for Pakistan in 4 hours in case anyone has a package they want me to take to their relatives.
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Looks like Trump won the Latino vote and Biden won the Latinx vote
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1. Pakistan has female fighter pilots.
2. Burqas aren’t *that* common in Pakistan, and there are no laws enforcing hijab. I saw zero burqas when I was there. Mostly they’re in Swat or tribal areas.
3. “Sharia Law” means “Law Law.” It’s just Sharia.
Left: a woman in a free country🇮🇳
Right: a woman in a country ruled by Sharia law🇵🇰
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Modi is a fascist, the BJP sucks, and Kashmir should be free:
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Tired of Prince William copying everything I do. Losing his hair, marrying someone more attractive, visiting Pakistan. This has to stop.
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This Memorial Day we honor all our nation's fallen heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. We salute you, kabootars. You fly with the angels now.
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WTF y’all seriously dubbed over Muslims praying??? Salat doesn’t sound like that lmao
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Guess what’s on the wall of the Pakistani Air Force Museum in Karachi? 🇵🇰✈️🍅🌲
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Long layover in Dubai and then I fly into Pakistan on Sunday. Hoping it’s cloudy so I can get past the radar.
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“They beat every part of my body. They kicked us, beat us with sticks, gave electric shocks, beat us with cables. When we fainted they gave us electric shocks to bring us back. When they hit us with sticks and we screamed, they sealed our mouth with mud.”
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Only two days left in Pakistan and it looks like I won’t be able to meet
@ImranKhanPTI
on this trip. My only option is to return to the United States and run for President so I can arrange for his return visit to the White House.
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*51 Muslims get murdered* but what was it like for the white woman
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I’m sure America would love it if Pakistan invaded Mexico, occupied it for 18 years, flew predator drones over Texas, and fueled an insurgency that caused millions of refugees, destroyed the border towns, and killed 75,000 Americans. So why is Pakistan so ungrateful?
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I forgot to decorate my house for Halloween so I think I’ll just hang up my Pakistani flag to scare all the neighbors.
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Please say a prayer for my 9-year-old niece who has all of the symptoms of coronavirus and is “presumed positive” but can’t get tested because this is America and she’s not a rich celebrity.
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Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran Khan Imran
Thousands have been arrested and TV news stations have been warned not to use the name of Imran Khan or show his picture
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When choosing a spouse, it’s important to find someone who sees you for your best qualities, who overlooks your faults, who forgets your mistakes, who only remembers your accomplishments. In other words, find someone who looks at you the way the media looks at white terrorists.
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