It's a Scientific Fact that people who sing together in the SAME group start wanting the SAME food. They have an a choired taste.

Just played soccer against the lemonade factory team. They were 7up by half time.

I was walking on a farm without my glasses and I fell into a large hole filled with water. Seems without my glasses, I couldn’t see that well.

I'm reading a book on how to speak Irish. It’s by Toby Shaw

One of the elves protested working conditions at the North Pole. Now he’s a rebel without a Claus.

I was going to have my driveway resurfaced but I backed out of it.

Santa has the right idea: Only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Got up today to find my doors smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone else's advent calendar?

I was proud to be the first dyslexic Santa booked in our town. Not sure if it was the trident or the horns but all the kids cried.

I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night. Could not finish it. Got up to P.

Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water. I was like “well dam”.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

I took my niece to see a double feature from Disney. She read the marquee and started crying. It read: Finding Nemo Frozen

I’m thinking of becoming a hit man. I heard they make a killing!

My brother's been sent to prison for excessively loud burping. It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon

Due to a spelling error, some of America's most dangerous criminals are currently waiting at Heathrow.

A ship from China carrying yo-yo’s sank 6 times yesterday.

Just a quiet word for anyone out there struggling with grief. Was handed this little book & whilst I am fairly in tune with where I’m at/what I’m feeling, I still found it valuable in identifying aspects I haven’t got my head around. It may not help, but it might. 🤷‍♂️🤞

I started reading a book called 'How To Fight Hell's Angels'. I couldn't get past the first chapter.

What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope? They kaleidoscope.