This dude bouta pull his dick out and cum in my salad

The night draws its line in the dark, and I’m still standing. Let the doubters howl themselves hoarse—by morning, their echoes will be gone. I endure. I always do. Victory belongs to those who last; the rest fall away with the noise. Now—where did I leave my whiskey?

Jesus Christ, All I wanted was some whiskey.

We always open grandmas presents the next day after Christmas. This year she caught a right hook after I didn’t get my signed Derrick Chauvin moments photograph.

All I wanted was a white Christmas and some johnny walker. Now I’m drinking this cheap shit in Cabo. Thanks for nothing mom.

Merry Christmas from my kin to yours.

Santa spotted over Madagascar, go to bed America. #HappyChristmas

Cabo for Christmas…. Fake Oakley’s and a shitty sangria.

Anything out of the bottle hits like fentanyl.

Getting a quick dynamic stretch in during my layover. #ExAthlete #KneePain

This beer goin down like a fat kid on seesaw tonight.

I’ve been absolutely sweating my parlay off this guy who bought wifi on my flight. Shoutout to this beauty.

Rudolph that one foggy night.

Khakis and NMDs in middle school was an elite time in my life.

Parlay lost by one fucking rebound last night. #GenerationalWealth

Sheron Moore Ruined his life over an average snow leopard. He could've had a hundred black panthers and his job. I could've told him it's the same regardless of melanin count.

DC at the bar?? Are you sewious wight now bwo??

Bring back sorority philanthropy events where the girls wore fucking thongs and had their tits out. #heatedrivalry

Told my ex girls new bf to gargle my balls.

“Just Venmo me but don’t make it obvious”