James Barnes Profile
James Barnes

@JamesJim360

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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Socially awkward fail: So one day I was walking around, just chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a book. He was new there but the book was a book I read and LOVED. So naturally I approach this boy hoping to make a new friend and bond over the series. Being the
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
ALL YOU HAVE DONE SINCE YOU GOT HERE ... A man decided to join a very small and very selective order of monks. The order was so devoted to prayer they were only allowed to say 2 words every year. After the first year passed, he went into a small room where he was given the
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
School Question Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Whisper A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said. “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word "pee" in church. From now on when you have to "pee" just tell me that you have to whisper.” The
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
He drew it all himself Teacher: Who helped you to draw this map, Jack? Jack: Nobody, sir. Teacher: Didn’t your brother help you? Jack: No, sir. He drew it all himseil.
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Guardian Angel A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.He went on, and after awhile
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
THE BIBLE A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly."I know what the word 'Bible' means!" His father smiled and replied..... "What do you mean, you 'know what the word Bible means'?" The son replied, "I mean I figured out what the word stands for!"
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Sporting goods: So I have this health teacher who is really insane about exercise. This woman has done ironman triathlons, and talks about going to the YMCA at 5:00am. Yeah she’s crazy. Basically we have this project to pick a health goal to do for a month. Things like drinking
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
"I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife says to her lazy husband who refuses to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed." The husband rolls over on the couch. "And you
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
TEN DOLLARS IS TEN DOLLARS Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland,Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair and every year Stumpy said, "Ya know, Martha, I'd like to get a ride in that airplane." And every year, Martha would say "I know, Stumpy, but that
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
MALE OR FEMALE ? SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald. WEB PAGE --
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
OUT ALL NIGHT DRINHKING ... An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
MIND READER One day a young man was visiting the fair. Over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said "For 50 dollars I'll teach you to be a mind reader! - Apply within." So the young man thought that he'd give it a go, and went inside. Behind a small table inside was
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Question and answer blonde jokes Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: How do you change a blonde\'s mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a blonde\'s intelligence? A: Stick a tire
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
– I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales dumbo!” So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
7 months
Texas Vs. Australia A Texan farmer goes to Australia on vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice that size!" They walk around the ranch a little,
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
Nothing is too small to know, and nothing too big to attempt. – William Van Horne
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@JamesJim360
James Barnes
8 months
The Musical Astronaut:Why did the astronaut play the guitar in space? It wanted to create a universal melody!
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