Something I want to mention: some quotes are obviously shipping related; the ships I usually use are kawoshin, asumari and ritsumaya. Everything else has NO romantic implications. I specifically say that bc I dont want ppl to misinterpret the Kensuke and Asuka quotes, thats all.

Fuyutsuki, to the pilots: Could you please stop insulting Ikari? His life is pathetic enough without you. Fuyutsuki, turning to Gendo: Now you can't say that I never defended you. Gendo: Can I say you never defend me well?

Mari: Princess, I would just like to remind you of how much you adore me. Mari: And how boring your life would be without me. Asuka: Mari: Asuka: Mari Illustrious Makinami, what did you do this time?

Mari: Ancient catgirls and catboys. Asuka: Wha- Mari: Nyanderthals if you will. Asuka:

*Mari, Kyoko and Yui's first meeting in university* Mari: Hi? Kyoko: Yui: Mari: Kyoko: ...do you want a beer? Yui: What are you doing? SHE'S 16! Kyoko: I DON'T KNOW, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?!

Maya: When do you usually go to sleep? Ritsuko, sipping her coffee: Whenever I collapse.

Ryoji Jr: What's it like working on Wunder? Asuka: Imagine working with completely civilized, responsible and mature people. Ryoji Jr: Okay. Asuka: Now throw that idea out of the window.

*the pilots playing twister* Rei: Right hand red. Asuka: *ends up on top of Mari* Shinji, whispering: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Rei: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't noticed.

Misato: Someone is giving away every one of our battle plans. Maya: Misato: You look surprised. Maya: I am, ma'am. Honestly I didn’t realize we had any battle plans. Misato: Of course we have! How else do you think our battles are directed? Maya: Our battles are directed...?

Misato: Do you think Im stupid? Ritsuko: As your friend and since you are my boss, I think you're very intelligent. Ritsuko: But as person with more than one braincell, you're a moron.

Mari: And what do we say when life disappoints us? Shinji: Called it. Kaworu: As the prophecy foretold... Rei: Ikari-kun did it. Asuka: Time to fist fight a god. Mari: NO.

Mari, on the phone: I'll see you tomorrow, Princess! Asuka: Alrighty, love you, bye! Asuka: *hangs up* Asuka: Asuka, upon realizing what just happened: *googles flights to Germany* Mari: *calls back* Asuka, panicking: *googles how to fake her death*

Rei, completely serious: Sir, it has been reported lately that you do, in fact, have little paw-paws and a little button nose. Do you care to comment? Cat: Meow Rei: I see... Hikari, walking in: Am I interrupting something...?

I know Asuka is trillingual even (German, Japanese, English) but WHATEVER. The joke works too well to pass it up

Asuka: I'm bi- Mari: *hopeful gasp* Asuka: -llingual, I'm billingual. I speak two languages. Mari, disappointed: *starts to drink some water* Asuka: And I like girls. Mari: *chokes*

Mari: You know, I’ve learned a lot in my time here on Wunder. Mari: Like if there’s popcorn something terrible is about to happen. Mari: But if I’m offered some that means it doesn’t involve me and I’ll be thoroughly entertained.

Mari: Uh Puppy-boy, are you ok? Shinji, lying on the floor and blasting sad music: Yes. Mari: Okay what's wrong? Shinji: Joy was the villain in Inside Out. Mari: Mari: Move over.

*Gendo teaching 4yo Shinji math* Gendo, pointing to a triangle: See? It's 90 degrees. Shinji: How can it be 90 degrees? It’s November! Gendo: No, no, Shinji, the angle is- Mari: Because of global warming. Yui, stepping in: Mari, no-

Mari: You may be in Princess' DMs. Mari: But I'm on her nerves. Mari: We're not the same.

*preparing dinner* Misato, making mashed potatoes: It feels like you don't trust my cooking. Shinji, also making mashed potatoes: Oh don't be silly Miss Misato!

Rei: Hmm I poisoned someone’s drink, but I can’t remember whose… Shinji: *spits out drink* Shinji: You WHAT?! Asuka: I hope it was mine, the way this dinner is going. Kaworu: *chugs drink* Mari: *wordlessly gets up and leaves*