Ian Power
@IHPower
Followers
16K
Following
85
Media
3K
Statuses
77K
If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.
Essex innit
Joined July 2010
I’m a great believer in treating others the way I’d like to be treated. For instance, I only speak to people when it’s absolutely necessary.
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My bag for life just split. Goodbye, dear friends. Try to remember me fondly. 😔
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Although "break a leg" is an accepted form of encouragement in theatres everywhere, it's not at the annual gala of The Osteoporosis Society. Apparently.
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One day, if you live long enough, you’ll look in the mirror and wish you still looked as good as the time when you thought you looked like shit.
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Why was Superman a bad driver? He always refused to get into the best available lane.
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Dido is a stupid name, isn't it? Mind you it could've been an 'ell of a lot worse.
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Every day I try to be kind by simply avoiding talking to other people.
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Being on Twitter at this time on a Saturday is a bit like being in a late bar only the most desperate of alcoholics would frequent. Cheers 🍻
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Someone's shown me some of that Rorschach's artwork. Fucking hell, what a pervert!
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“How much for the organic dildo?” "That's a cucumber, Sir!" “... How much?”
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I asked the Doctor whether it's true that excessive masturbation's bad for your eyesight. He said, "You're in the butcher's, mate.”
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Do you often worry that you overthink things? Then the answer’s yes.
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My mate's so tight he saved money on school name tags by having his son christened George.
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I’m never more judgmental than when I see someone buying a Daily Mail.
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I went to hospital with severe food poisoning after eating haggis, neeps and tatties. Fortunately they have an excellent Burns unit.
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FYI. If you're holding an opened umbrella it's your job to make sure it avoids other pedestrians. Not the other way around. Don't be a dick.
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A colleague keeps muttering unintelligible nonsense to herself. I’ve shown her how to open a Twitter account.
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