HumorHive
@HumorHive
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Funny jokes and other silly nonsense - it's the bee's knees!
Joined April 2012
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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If there's one thing I know about women, it's that I'm probably wrong about that too.
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The Little Mermaid taught us all a valuable lesson. Men will fall in love with you if you can't talk.
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Good evening, welcome to the Fuck Givery. We regret to inform you that we are closed for the night as we've run out of fucks to give.
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Every time I see a girl running in high heels, a part of me wants to see her fall. Just kidding. All of me wants to see her fall.
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Thank you, adjectives. You make insulting people much more fun.
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Zippers must have been invented by a woman with some castration conspiracy in mind.
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Most pictures are only worth seven words: "Why the hell did you take that?"
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Have you heard of this thing called "not being an asshole?" Let's make that popular.
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Every time I see a pile of clothes on the floor, I think the world just lost another Jedi.
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Optimists make me want to drown them in half-full swimming pools.
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Just remember: No matter how intelligent you think you are, someone out there thinks you're an idiot.
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"Two can play at this game!" - person who doesn't understand solitaire
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