Retail assistant to me while in the changing room: ‘Everything alright in there?’ Me: ‘No. I forgot how to put on a shirt, I have tangled myself and now I am trapped in fashion. Please call 000’

Dear @woolworths I can get: 350ml on special for $10 Or: Twice the size, NOT on special, and it still costs less. See the dilemma?

Fiancé got so angry with Google Assistant ignoring him that he threatened to burn it with the iron. Has since been banned from communicating with Google. #mygayfianceisabitch

Thanks to whoever packed my @Apple AirTags for the additional ‘gift with purchase’. Worried someone is currently bleeding out in the warehouse though

My dog is licking his lips as I stand in the kitchen preparing…a RAT test

Good of Bradley Cooper to offer some guidance - he’s been there himself when he pissed his pants on stage at The Grammys

If Snoop doesn’t do Menulog, then this halftime is over.

The random fact that our office is currently digesting: Grace Tame used to be married to the kid from Cat in the Hat.

New Years Resolution: Putting it here so I can be held accountable. Now I own a house, I’m gonna build more blanket forts in the lounge. Guilt free.

Hold up. Why didn’t I know this was a thing?

Fiancé has sent two important pieces of feedback today The 1st to our local MP about the need for lights at a particularly dangerous intersection The 2nd to Google. Because our smart speaker won’t acknowledge him when he says ‘OK Google. Shut your face’ #mygayfianceisabitch

Fiancé: Be careful in the shower cos I just cleaned and I don’t want you to slip and break the glass Me: So, the glass is the priority? Fiancé: Yes Tim, it is. You have private health insurance. The glass in the shower doesn’t. #adventureswithrein #mygayfianceisabitch

Fiancé and I have been arguing for weeks about how we’re going to do up the backyard. Last night after dinner his long game was revealed Him: You got to decide we’d have Indian, so now I get to decide the backyard. #mygayfianceisabitch #adventureswithrein

Returning from an event filled with ‘cool’ people Me: Oooh I meant to tell you - our new shower squeegee arrived in the mail today Fiancé: ….this is why we don’t do well at functions #adventureswithrein

Two weeks ago, we spent several hundred dollars on a new rug (that my partner hates) Last night the dog pooped on it. Have I mentioned he has a flair for the dramatiqué? #adventureswithrein

Are you insinuating that I am very sporty? Because you would be correct. Yay sports.

The cocktail list at the place we’re having dinner at is not available tonight My fiancé just pointed out that Perth’s leading food critic (and named him) is his uncle, and how disappointed he’d be He is not related Suddenly the service is very attentive #adventureswithrein

Fiancé: Babe, I’m actually quite reasonable. My responses are always proportional. Ten minutes later: Don’t bite your nails or I’ll cut your fingers off. #adventureswithrein

Driving along my partner and I both went ‘oooh’ at the same time. Turns out he had noticed a hot runner. I’d spotted a sign for half price lattice. #adventureswithrein

Spot the thing (well, 2 things) that annoys me every day